Even as I'm creeping up to my birthday (despite my attempts to apply the brakes), I already feel all the signs. I turn bottles towards the light to read the faint lettering (muttering at the inconsideration of probably 20-year-olds who designed the bottles). When I miss a few sessions of exercise, it gets harder to return to the regime as my back aches in protest. And of course, where there used to be muscle, now it's flab.
It doesn't help that in Singapore, you're considered over the hill prematurely. Weeks before your 40th birthday, you'll receive an envelope from the government marked "Eldershield". Employers in Singapore notoriously favour the young. In most other parts of the world, 40 symbolises experience. Here, more often than not, 40 is associated with being outdated and irrelevant. Having spoken to many friends and ex-colleagues, it seems like the single biggest fear among workers in Singapore is to be retrenched at 40.
I know there are many sentiments out there which try to paint 40 as a coming of age. Quotes such as "Life begins at 40" and "40 is the new 30" are such examples. But I've always scoffed those as feeble attempts at self-consolation. I know the truth! You can't fool me!
Then a few weeks ago, my sister called to inform me that one of our friends from NUS had passed away from breast cancer. We weren't particularly close but she had stayed in the room opposite mine in the hostel. When I saw her laughing demeanor on the obituary photo, I felt a pang of regret. She was 39.
Every now and then, we are reminded of our mortality through incidents like these. Throughout history, people have tried in vain to look for the elixir of youth, to prolong what they feel is the prime of their life. But gradually, I'm beginning to realise that to dread growing old is to scorn life because ageing is an integral part of life.
My friend never saw her 40th birthday. It's sad not because she was struck down in her youth, it's sad because there was still so much more life to be lived. And that's what turning 40 should be - to have lived the first part of your life, and to embark on Part 2. That in itself should be a celebration.
So I'm not going to moan anymore about turning 40 because being able to hit this milestone is a gift. My eyes may not be as sharp and my body less sprightly but by golly, there's still a lot of life to be lived. And (with the help of a few jars of anti-ageing cream), I will try to live it as gracefully as I can.
Posts
18 comments:
I've past 40 for a few years already. Agree that the body (eg eyesight etc) starts going er... downhill. As I am typing this, I have my granny reading glasses perched on my nose. Talk about aunty looking!
And also sad when we hear of people we know who will never see this milestone. But knowing you, you are going to be 40 and fabulous!!! Happy birthday (in advance)!
Many thanks Eunice *mwah!!* lol @ granny glasses, I'm pretty sure I'll be needing those real soon!
It really has been downhill for me since touching 40...metabolism gone to pits, finally had to colour my hair cos too much gray hair; though I have managed to stave off granny glasses cos I did the monovision lasik thing. Definitely an aunty now.
But that's me lah, you won't be like that lah. With your positive attitude, easy laugh, and your regular tonnes of beauty sleep, I know you'll be girly and young for a long time yet.
Happy Birthday in advance. Fabulous 40!
Lilian: Haven't you been 40 for less than a year?? Donch scare me leh... I also the hair colour thing and metabolism? Yes, sigh. Must ask you about the monovision lasik thing, really no need granny glasses ah? Sounds wonderful!!
Still need glasses, but maybe postpone a few years. Before Lasik, I was already somewhat long-sighted, but after doing the procedure, I was able to read better. But wont' last forever.
I reached that milestone a few months ago and honestly feel that bit n pieces all breaking down, from wrinkles to more hair loss/white hair and the long-sighted problem.
Admire some women who age really really well like my mom, was hoping I had it in my genes :(
Well, need to learn to take it in stride, hubby says...no point worrying..you will just end up losing more hair.
New Year resolution is to exercise more and eat in moderation. I gave up the buffet eating years ago...except for the occasional Penang food ones !
Hey, blessed birthday (in advance!)... since there isn't much of Jan left, it's safe to say you and I have birthdays that are quite close! :P Now, while I won't be hitting 40 until 2013, I'm already wearing granny glasses, and by then would have had them for a decade... though I think having had no myopia at all also played a part... so yes, I have been reading fine print at arms' legnth for a while now... LOL.
Happy Birthday in advance Monica! Being 40 isn't that bad at all, I'm speaking from 6 months of experience!
I only feel old when I need to take off my glasses to read labels in the supermarket or the Bible in dimmer lighting, or when I colour my hair or when I see my big Sec 1 son with his feet bigger than mine and almost as tall as me! (that means everyday lol)
Hey, looks like I'm in good company! Yah, I'm trying to stave off the reading glasses for as long as I can, since I've enjoyed the spec-free freedom for a few years after lasik, being myopic most of my life.
Thanks all you ladies for the kind birthday wishes!
Happy Birthday!! You are fortunate to be your own boss so you do not have to face the age discrimination in the working society. Who knows when I reach 40, I may be worried whether I still have a job! Reading via blog gives me a glimpse of your life. I am sure you will age gracefully as you become wiser too. BTW those recent photos e.g. the x'mas 2009 party which you posted in your blog looked ok to me. In fact, you look young can't tell you hit 40..that's my opinion lah. :)
- MY
MY: Wah, such a compliment, thanks!! Maybe as I grow older, then must invest in soft focus lens, hehe. I agree one of the perks of being your own boss is not having to face age discrimination. Well, you sound like you're still some ways to go before you hit 40. Enjoy it while you can!
Happy Birthday in advance, Mon! What 40, not a trace!
Btw, presbyopia is different from long-sightedness and it was a recent dialogue with my hubby who pointed out to me.
He mentioned that long-sightedness could be corrected by surgery because it is due to the lens in our eyes not being able to focus but presbyopia which is due to old age, the muscles weaken around the lens. So reading glasses is required for presbyopia.
qx
QX: You're right! When I had my lasik done, I asked if it would heighten the lao hua yen, the eye surgeon said no, different thing. Long-sightedness not the same. So looks like reading glasses are an eventuality :P
hi mon, i've already gone past 40 for more than a year and i can tell u, it's a real let-down. as in, i'm not slower/blinder/creakier/whatever-er than i was at age 39. the only thing that really marks 40 for me was the Eldershield decision and going thru medical / health checks n insurance. i thot best be better prepared for the next 40 years! woohoo!
happy birthday!!!
Happy Birthday, Monica!
Will join the big 4'0' in April! Haha. Realise my hair has been turning gray at a much faster rate than before.
JJ: You're so funny lah... so glad to know the spring in our step won't suddenly halt after the 40 candles are blown out!
Ann: Yes, thank goodness for hair colour :D
Hey Monica ! Warmest wishes for your 40th ! Glad to see so many moms sharing their 40th or 40th-to be experiences....I'm not alone !
Thanks Jo! You're right, I find it so comforting that many mums here are 40 or to be 40. Nice to have company!
Post a Comment