To the Bolero

For the past couple of weeks, I've been binging on Rachmaninov, Elgar and Dvorak. It's a journey of re-discovery of sorts, I've not given my classical music CDs time of day for years. I'm not sure why but in the past few years, my music repertoire has largely been pop. Perhaps I can blame it on the American Idol syndrome where everything has to be bite-sized and immediately accessible.

But ever since I moved house and acquired a new sound system in my office, I started revisiting my classical music CD collection... and it's been nice. It's stirring without being distracting - important for when I'm working.

The best part though, is that Lesley-Anne now enjoys listening to classical music with me. Being in the band CCA has a large part to play. Where she used to know about orchestral instruments only in theory, she now knows them by experience and this makes a world of difference. The music makes more sense to her and she's able to appreciate the performance.

I like that she's able to enjoy the music simply for what it is, without pretension. Too often, I find that there's a huge preconception about classical music and by association, classical music lovers ("snooty, "irrelevant", "boring" - take your pick). It's like there are people who listen to classical music... and then there's everybody else. So much so that it seems as if the onus is on classical music to justify why it's relevant in today's society.

I personally don't see why classical music needs to be apologetic. It's just there to be enjoyed by anyone who would give it a chance. Some people will never like it, some people won't try, it's ok. It's not the fault of classical music and it shouldn't therefore be dumbed down to the lowest denominator. You wouldn't dilute red wine with Ribena just so more people will find it palatable, would you?

Having said that however, it's always nice to see members of the classical music fraternity make an effort to make it more accessible. It's like sharing your favourite recipe or restaurant with a friend - "Here, try this. I hope you'll enjoy it."

What led me to this point was the fact that I was playing Ravel's Bolero one night and Lesley-Anne told me she remembered hearing it at an SSO concert I brought her to when she was probably about 7 or 8. She said it made an impression cos she was fascinated by the repeated melody.

For those who are not aware, Bolero is a very unusual orchestra work because it consists of only one melody that's repeated over and over until it reaches a climax. Funny how it's so addictive. It became Ravel's most well known work.

Lesley-Anne then alerted me to a flash mob of Bolero that was performed last year by the Copenhagen Philharmonic at Copenhagen Central Station. I searched for it on YouTube and by golly, it's the classiest flash mob I've ever seen. Both her question and mine though, was "how on earth did the timpani guy appear and disappear so quickly?"

Here, try this. I hope you'll enjoy it.

Dreams & Reality

Last week, we made a trip down to the National Museum of Singapore to take a look at the Dreams & Reality art exhibition. It featured French and European masterpieces from Musee d'Orsay Paris.

The exhibition is now over, so it's too late to visit it even if you want to, but it was pretty good so I thought it was worth recording the visit in a blog post.

I've always loved Western art, I even did an elective module on Art Appreciation in NUS. While the exhibition wasn't very big and didn't have the top-tier of famous paintings as say, in the Louvre, it was still pretty well represented in terms of the artists covered.

It was divided into different sections, which I won't go into it in detail since the exhibition is now over.

There were so many gorgeous paintings but Andre's favourite was this dark one, depicting the Franco-Prussian War of 1870-71. It's called The Enigma by Gustave Dore. What is it with guys and battlefields?

Lesley-Anne likes this one, called Going Fishing by Piet Mondrian. We've not heard of this artist but the painting has such as serene clarity that you can't help but be drawn to it.

Then there were all the big guns of Western Art.

Camille Pissarro's Young Peasant Girl Lighting A Fire. Pissaro is one of the forerunners of Impressionism.

The Female Clown Cha-U-Kao by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. To me, Toulouse-Lautrec is the circus guy.

A couple of Monets - this is Woman with a Parasol Looking to the Right.

This is Branch of the Seine near Giverny. This one is truly gorgeous up close.

Dancers Climbing a Staircase by Edgar Degas. If Toulouse-Lautrec is the circus guy, then Degas is the ballet dude.

Paul Cezanne's The Cardplayers. This is the emblematic painting for the exhibition, it's on the cover of all their collaterals. Like so many paintings, it looks so much richer and better in real life than on screen or print.

I've kept the best for last. This one was hung as a centrepiece of the main exhibition hall and it drew a huge crowd. Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night. I can see why, in real life, this painting is unbelievably breath-taking. The colours are so saturated and vibrant, it packs a punch. The photo really doesn't do it justice.

It was very crowded and as it so happened, the museum was having an open house meaning there was free entry. It was a bonus for us, we weren't aware of this when we went. Luckily we arrived early because as we left, the queue to enter the gallery had snaked all the way up the stairs out the main entrance onto the carpark. Crazy!

Anyway, the exhibition is now over but I fancy that our local museums are bringing in many more high quality shows these days, so do look out for them. Many of them are worth a visit.

The true value of sports

It's time for the inter-school badminton tournament again and this is the last year Andre will be playing for his primary school team.

After 3 years of seeing Andre train and play, here's my conclusion:

Competitive sports is tough.

When parents first send their kids for training for any competitive sport, I'm sure many of them have big dreams. Maybe not as grandiose as grooming a national player but perhaps some image of sporting trophies or medals lining the bedroom shelf.

For some of course, these visions do become reality. But I've come to the realisation that for the majority, these are merely pipedreams. The Singapore sporting scene for kids has now become almost as competitive as the academic one, and many kids who start out playing because of the love for a sport simply don't have the resources or the time to invest in what has become necessary to be among the medal-worthy minority.

When Andre first started playing for the school team, we were cheering for them to win matches. Badminton, however, is not a niche sport for Andre's school so when this didn't take off, we revised our expectations downwards to just winning a couple of games in a match. Even that proved to be difficult.

Three years in a row, Andre's school has drawn to match up against the top primary school badminton team in Singapore. What are the odds? Even the coach was stumped. When Andre signed up for individual competitions, 4 out of 5 times, he's met seeded players or eventual winners of the tournament in the preliminary rounds, eliminating any chance of proceeding to the next stage.

Even though we know that in sports, you win some and you lose some, it's very disheartening to constantly be beaten down, especially by something as random as the luck of the draw. No matter how hard Andre trained or tried, he didn't seem to have very much to show for it, or to keep him encouraged. He grew to dislike competitions and would perform below his usual standards under pressure. When he lost, he would cry or mope and I was at my wit's end as to how to keep him motivated.

I struggled with this last year. I asked God, "why can't this child catch a break? Are you trying to tell us that we made the wrong decision in letting him pursue this sport?" I couldn't figure it out.

And then out of the blue this year, something changed. When Andre stepped up to play his first game against the top school (where he was matched up against the best player, no less), I noticed a spring in his step, a new-found confidence I never saw before. He faced his opponent, who was a whole head taller than him, unintimidated. He ran down every ball and played at a level unprecedented for him. He was demolished in the end, but to my surprise, he strode off the court smiling.

The teacher-in-charge turned to me and said, "You should be very proud of him."

To a bystander, it must have been an odd sight. There he was, having just lost the game and the coach was congratulating him on a job well done. But having coached him for 3 years, she recognised, as I did, that Andre had experienced some sort of breakthrough in his development.

It dawned on me: Andre was finally enjoying playing in a competition.

Sports is a school of hard knocks. It's not like a Hollywood inspirational movie where the underdog will eventually be crowned victorious after 2 hours, against all odds. Real life is not Hollywood - David doesn't always defeat Goliath, there isn't always light at the end of the tunnel. (Neither does love always conquer all nor truth always prevail, but that's another story). Basically, real life can be brutal.

Many kids train for a sport all of their school years and never make it even remotely close to the top. I've heard some parents make their kids take up the school's niche sport or pick more obscure sports to maximise their chances of winning, but I find it a little sad that even choosing a CCA has to be so calculated.

I don't want to rationalise. It's convenient to say God put Andre against all these tough opponents just to make him stronger but I can't say for sure. What I'm sure about though, is that you have to be prepared for the disappointment and the sacrifice. You have to lose so often that you become immune to it, that picking yourself up and trying again is, without thinking, the only option.

But even without planning for it, I cannot deny that badminton HAS made Andre stronger. On the court now, I see his tenacity, his drive, his intelligence, and it's wonderful to see his love of the game shine through. He belongs there. Even if he never wins another game, it's all good. That's the true value of sports.

And in reply to the terrifically supportive teacher-in-charge, I'm indeed proud of my son. Very much so.

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take." ~ Wayne Gretzky, professional hockey player.

Walking The Line

I know I've been a laggard in blogging. Sorry lah, it's CNY and my entire system has been in lockdown mode.

This CNY has been such a whirlwind affair, we've hardly begun to celebrate before it's over. To add to the excitement, Lesley-Anne came down with an unfortunate bout of food poisoning on CNY eve (which led to a 2am visit to a 24-hour doc for an anti-vomiting jab). Her new clothes and shoes remained untouched while she spent the two days of CNY in bed, eating porridge and ham sandwiches.

Incidentally, Lesley-Anne's Chinese zodiac fortune for this year read "The Water Dragon will be unfriendly to you." You don't say.

Anyway, she's feeling much better now and she had a chance to catch up on the feasting when my sister treated us to lunch at Shangri-la's celebrated buffet, The Line.

We're not frequent patrons of buffets as we don't have insatiable appetites, but it was a real treat. The Line is known for its spectacular spread - there's a Chinese, Indian, Western, Italian and Japanese selection, on top of the cold appetisers and of course, the impressive array of desserts.

We didn't sample all the stations. We simply zoomed in on our favourites, like the cold seafood. Crab claws, succulent prawns, raw oysters, mussels.

And sashimi, of course! As much salmon belly as you can eat.

The food was very fresh. We had too many helpings to count but the crowning glory has to be the dessert. This is one seriously awesome spread - makes you wish you were a cow just so you can have four stomachs!

Andre tackling the chocolate fountain.

Before conquering the ice-cream station. He had mango sorbet and raspberry sorbet with chocolate sprinkles, rainbow sprinkles, chocolate chips and gummy worms. I call it the hyperactive drive concoction.

Topping it all up with a foamy cup of cappuccino.

Kopi tarik and teh tarik for husband and wife.

Eating at the Shang is really very pleasant. It's surrounded by green and as we discovered, even the squirrels have acquired a taste for fine dining. We actually saw a couple run up and down the tables outside, foraging for leftovers.

Just a by the way but there's a chocolate carving of two dragons in the Shang lobby which I thought was mighty impressive.

Me and my fabulous sister!

Festive feasting

We've been celebrating lots of 'firsts' in our new home and here's another - our first Chinese New Year.

It's always exciting to dress up a new home and this year, we've decided to go green. The red flowers are coxcombs, we bought them just because they looked so festive.















But more than just a new location, this CNY is different because my mother-in-law is living with us, meaning we get to see the CNY goodies being made (as opposed to previous years where we merely ate them, lol).

While we still buy most of the goodies, there are a few that my mil will faithfully make every year. Don't even think about asking her to buy them instead as none will be able to live up to her standards. Mind you, I'm not complaining!

Here she is, stirring the jelly. This jelly is a lot more work than the regular kind. Besides making the mixture, it needs to be sunned for several days to give it that crunchy texture.

Home-made pineapple tarts. If you've tried these, you'll never go back to the gummy, commercial ones.

Besides snacks, my mil also prepares specialty CNY foods, like these yam coins which will be pan fried with mushrooms during CNY.

But my favourite, hands down, is the carrot and pumpkin kueh. For the carrot kueh, radishes are grated...

... and then fried with meat and mushrooms.

These are then mixed with flour and put into large vats (these are the carrot kueh) and steamed.

Come CNY, the kueh will be sliced thinly and fried till crisp, then eaten with sweet sauce. This is our typical CNY breakfast and I love, love, love it, the pumpkin especially.

Andre's school badminton tournaments will take place just after CNY (who's crappy idea was that?) and the coach is already warning all the players to stay away from bak kua, soft drinks and prawn rolls.

I think she's fighting a losing battle. She needs to resign herself to the fact that she's gonna have a sluggish team on her hands. I've seen the kids - they love their food more than they love badminton.

Well, I reckon the little dragons are entitled to usher in their year with some festive feasting. Happy New Year, everyone and may the Dragon charge into your life bringing cheer and blessings!

Lit my fire

Last year, when Lesley-Anne attended a school briefing on sec 3 subject combinations. the teacher made it quite clear that she expected the SBGE (school-based gifted education) kids to either go for the special programmes or the triple science option.

Defying the recommendation, Lesley-Anne chose the literature and double science combination. To the teacher, she's probably not living up to her potential. She also told me she has friends who prefer the humanities but are being forced by their parents to go into triple science because it's more prestigious.

Deja vu. I faced the same scenario when I opted out of triple science to go into the arts class at sec 3. It's astonishing how some attitudes haven't changed in 30 years.

What I'm going to say next may offend the math/science folks. If you're a math/science person, don't kill me. I know it's a generalisation and doesn't apply to everyone. But back in my undergraduate years at NUS, I found the arts folks to be more interesting people and have a broader mindset than those from science or engineering. Towards the end of last year, Lesley-Anne started complaining that some of her classmates (the majority of whom are math and science-oriented) are very dull and narrow-minded. In contrast, she finds her humanities class this year vibrant and outgoing.

I don't think it's a coincidence. Kids who tend to think in black-and-white will veer towards the sciences because they prefer to learn things that are more tangible. They are uncomfortable with the humanities because they find security only in subjects that they can mug for or have fixed solutions.

The humanities, literature especially, are much more open to interpretation. If you're unable to form your own opinion or are used to having someone tell you what is the right or wrong answer, I can see why this will be difficult. Unfortunately, it is these kids who shun the humanities that will most benefit from it.

Of course lit is not perfect. The thing about lit is that it's so open-ended that sometimes, I think we take too many liberties with it. Students and teachers tend to get a little carried away, reading too much into texts. Afterall, who's to say they're wrong? And you're graded based on how much you say.

Lesley-Anne and I often joke about this. Eg:

Passage: "The curtains were blue."
Student's interpretation: "The author was melancholic."
Teacher's interpretation: "The author was reminded of the sea, where he used to live, and he was melancholic."
Author's intended meaning: "The curtains were blue."

Nevertheless, it's heaps of fun and I honestly believe that the humanities groom individuals who are more creative and more able to think for themselves. Lesley-Anne has had a great start to the year and is enjoying herself tremendously. She came home one day and said, "I have back-to-back periods of language arts and lit. Heaven!" I can imagine it's probably some kids' idea of hell.

True learning is not just about amassing facts or applying data. Math and science have their place, but so do the humanities, and the latter is definitely not the "inferior" option. Hopefully it won't take another 30 years for Singaporeans to understand this.

Teaching that inspires

Before the school holidays ended, we made time for a family movie night. The chosen flick was Mr Holland's Opus. Set from 1965-1995, it's about Glenn Holland, a professional musician who starts teaching music at a local high school thinking it would give him time to compose his own music.

Initially, he is unable to make any inroads in teaching but over time, grows to become an adept teacher. The story also outlines his struggles coming to terms with having a deaf son. After 30 years of teaching, the music programme at the school is cancelled, putting Mr Holland out of a job and leaving him wondering if he had wasted his life.

There are several reasons why I love this movie. One, Mr Holland, played by Richard Dreyfuss, is portrayed as not your typical, idealistic individual but a very real, down to earth teacher with human failings that anyone can identify with.

Second, I like that Mr Holland is a music teacher. Just like in Singapore, music and other "soft" subjects are considered non essential in the US and this comes through in the movie. I love this quote towards the end of the movie, when the Vice-Principal broke the news to Mr Holland that the music programme was being canned:

VP: I care about these kids just as much as you do. And if I'm forced to choose between Mozart and reading and writing and long division, I choose long division.

Mr Holland: Well, I guess you can cut the arts as much as you want, Gene. Sooner or later, these kids aren't going to have anything to read or write about.

It's inspiring without being saccharine and overly dramatic, like many American attempt-to-feel-good movies.

Maybe I love it so much because it has so many parallels in real life. When Mr Holland started out as a teacher, it was simply out of necessity and he left the kids cold. It was only when he grew to love teaching and his students that he touched so many of them.

I've discovered that the best teachers are often not the ones who know the best methods. Andre has had teachers who no doubt, know how to teach. But some of them have completely turned him off lessons because they teach with the impersonal indifference of someone merely executing a task.

Kids are very perceptive. They know who are the teachers who care and who are the ones who don't give a damn. (Andre's friend had a math teacher who openly declared to the class after a frustrating session, "I don't care if you understand this, I still get paid.")

That's why I'm totally against those who go into teaching purely to chase a career path. Teaching is a calling, much like nursing. If you're annoyed by kids, you'll quickly find them a burden in your life and these kids will be left uninspired and unimpressed.

Schools may be surprised to know this but it's also not about how strict the teachers are. I've consistently found that the best-loved teachers, some of whom are the fiercest human beings around, are the ones who have a heart for the kids and truly want the kids to do well. The ones who love the kids they teach will find ways to motivate them to do better. The ones who don't, well, even with the best techniques, will leave the children disinterested. It's time we realise that learning is less about methods and more about attitudes.

This year, both Lesley-Anne and Andre have been assigned excellent teachers, for which I'm deeply thankful. In fact, when Lesley-Anne heard the names of Andre's teachers, she went, "wah, strike lottery!"

Indeed, getting good teachers is like striking lottery, since every school, no matter how good, will have its fair share of good and not-so-good teachers. I can think of few things in our children's school life as important as the quality of teachers. It is infinitely more important than the brand of the school or the range of its facilities.

So, back to Mr Holland's Opus. Do watch it, if you haven't already, for a dose of heart-warming inspiration. If I were the NIE, I would make all teachers-to-be watch this movie. In the end, it's not the grand gestures of teachers, just everyday little ones, that make a lasting impression.

"What the teacher is, is more important than what he teaches." ~Karl Menninger

Letters

31 December 2011, New Year's Eve

Dearest Lesley-Anne

Often, I marvel at how I managed to have a daughter like you. I thank God for your selflessness, how you're always putting others ahead of you. Sometimes I worry it will allow others to take advantage of you but I have to trust that God will bless you with the accompanying wisdom to discern good from bad, and continue to guide your path.

You're mature beyond your years, thoughtful and bright, tempered with a dollop of level-headedness. I'm constantly amazed by your discipline, sensitivity, and most of all, your godliness. At the same time, your feistiness (I know I often call it pig-headedness) keeps you from being bland.

My wish for you this New Year is that you will delight in new experiences, not to be afraid to try something different, even if you risk making a fool of yourself. I know the world seems like a scary place and people can be mean, but choosing what is safe because it's familiar is no way to live your life.

I pray that you will let go of your defence mechanism, move out of your comfort zone and open up more to others. Expect more of yourself - you'll be surprised at what you can achieve. It's not about getting to know yourself better because who you are is not carved in stone. You are a work in progress and it is only by embracing life and whatever is thrown at you, that you will grow in depth as a human being.

You are an incredible young lady and I'm truly grateful to have a daughter like you.


♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Mummy

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dearest Andre

Where do I begin? You are such a (big) bundle of joy. I thank God for your spontaneity, your big heart and your eagerness to please. I live for all your hugs and kisses, given with such unadulterated affection.

Sometimes I worry about your innocence, how you're so unaware of the ways of the world and how you wear your heart on your sleeve. But I know it's this quality that makes you so genuine and lovable, and it's what draws people to you. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You keep me young because you keep me laughing! Without even trying.

For 2012, I wish for you patience - something we will both need in the PSLE year. I know that for someone who's always living for the moment, it will be an incredibly difficult lesson for you - to work towards a goal that seems so far away, and a reward that beckons only with hope, not promises.

But I pray that in this process, you will learn that diligence builds character (ugh, I know, I sound like the father in Calvin & Hobbes) and that you will come to understand it's the journey, not the end result, that will enrich your life.

May your generous spirit never diminish. When people around you judge you or try to make you feel less of a person, I hope you will always be secure in the knowledge that you are a champ in every sense of the word.

You are a blessing to many and I thank God that you have been entrusted to me.


♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Mummy

'Tis the season to be jolly

We've lived in our new home for about a month now (after discounting the 2 weeks we were away in NZ) and it's only about now that I finally feel this is home.

It may sound strange but for the first couple of weeks, a part of me felt like I was living in a show flat. I would get very flustered when I saw newspapers carelessly strewn on the coffee table or half eaten bags of potato chips lying around. This is extremely uncharacteristic behaviour as I am a slob at heart. Tidying up, to me, is as fun as having a root canal. So it was very disconcerting indeed.

Thankfully, I'm back to my normal, messy self now. This house, however, is turning our entire family into couch potatoes. We've never had cable before (I know, we're stone age) and since my mother-in-law watches Korean dramas, we subscribed to Starhub.

My conclusion is that cable is EVIIIIL. Why? Cos now, no matter whether it's 10 o'clock in the morning or 4.30 in the afternoon, there's always something interesting on. Either Nigella is cooking up something decadently delicious or the folks at CSI are wading through the mandatory 100 red herrings to solve yet another murder, neatly within 50 minutes. Whatever. It's incredibly addictive.

These photos show only Andre but truthfully, all of us spend an extended amount of time in front of the telly.

It's official - I live in the house of sloth. I'm praying that we will OD on food and forensics soon so we can get them out of our systems and get on with our lives.

But after the hustle and bustle in the last quarter of the year, it's kinda nice to just zone out. It's also the first Christmas in our new home and I've found that playing the Glee Christmas album while doing absolutely nothing makes me happy. (It's a very campy album but infectiously jolly).

We've only a few more days to the end of 2011 and we've been celebrating the season with family and friends. Family, friends, food and gifts - all enveloped in the warmth of love and home. There really isn't anything more one can wish for. Looking back at the momentous year we've had, I can only say I'm unspeakable grateful for the journey God has led us on and His tremendous, unbridled blessings.


Blessed Christmas to all of you, my dear friends.

"One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~Andy Rooney

Andre's belated birthday sleepover

Andre's birthday is in October and he wanted another sleepover like he did last year. However, since we were in the midst of moving house and a million other things, I told him he could have his party belated, after we'd returned from NZ.

So last Wed, a few of his friends came over for the first (and maybe last?) sleepover in our new home.

I really didn't have the time or energy to plan anything elaborate so I left them pretty much to their own devices. Pre-teen boys are actually reasonably easy to please. Eg, just plonk them in front of the tv and screen an action movie (Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull).

In case you're wondering, the pile of snacks was not provided by me, it was brought by a chip-o-holic boy whose mum generously catered enough for the whole group.

Of course, there's the computer. You can't pry boys away from pc games with a crowbar.

From experience, when you coop hyperactive boys indoors for too long, they start to go a little manic, so we brought them to the pool.

Not much swimming occurred, it was more a water brawl.

Dinner was simple fare al fresco - spaghetti and fried chicken wings. When I took this picture, one of the boys called out in alarm, "no, no, must delete the picture!" When I asked why, he replied, "If not, my mother will see that I ate too many chicken wings." LOL!

Cake time! My little boy is now 11 (well, for 2 months now).

I sent the boys to bed at 11pm, thinking that the chatting will continue for another hour. However, by midnight, we were still hearing laughter and loud thuds, prompting a tired Kenneth to ask me, "what on earth are they doing??"

We found out the next morning that at midnight, they decided it would be a good idea to stage a WWE match. Go figure! They finally fell asleep only at 1am but that didn't stop them from jumping up at the crack of dawn to play more computer games.

Kenneth was hoping to get a shot of them asleep but no chance. This was the scene that greeted him at 7am.

After breakfast, the boys made the most of the remaining time by having a game of table tennis and yet another dip in the pool.

You know the party was a success when the boys complain that their parents came to fetch them too soon.

I know it's very belated but I hope you had a very Happy Birthday, my dear kumara chip!