Exam fever

Yesterday was Andre's theory exam and I'd been quite at ease as I knew he was prepared for it. His music teacher is quite ingenious - he came up with funny phrases to help Andre remember the corresponding major and minor keys, eg.

G major + E minor = Giant Elephants
F major + D minor = Fat Donkey

And Andre's personal favourite:

C major + A minor = Crazy Andre

Despite knowing that Andre was ready, in the morning before the exam, I suddenly experienced an irrational attack of exam anxiety and felt the urgent need to bombard him with instructions.

"Read the questions carefully."
"Check properly whether it says 'with key signature' or 'without key signature'."
"Do you have enough pencils?" (I hastily packed two extra ones, in addition to the two mechanical pencils already in his pencil case).
"Make sure you write dark enough."
"But don't keep going over the notes until they're messy!"
"If you erase your work, make sure you rub it away completely."
"Take a packet of tissue in case you need to blow your nose."
"Don't draw your notes too closely until they're joined together like Siamese twins."
"Don't draw your flat so round like a 'b'."
"What is con moto??"

This barrage continued unabated all the way to the exam centre, right to the door of the exam room.

"Remember to paste your name label on the paper."
"If you finish early, you can come out."
"But don't rush to come out! Take your time!"
"Wait for me at the corridor if I'm not here."
"If it's cold, wear your jacket."
"Do you need to go to the toilet?"
"Check your work properly!"

I was not the only restless parent. A few, after watching their kids find their seats through a small glass panel on the back door, proceeded to tap on the panel to get their kids' attention and mime last-minute instructions. It's a marvel our kids are able to retain anything - I'm sure after a while, they learn to tune our voices out like white noise.

I proceeded to the kopitiam to have my teh while waiting for Andre to finish his exam. And there, on a nearby chair, I saw this vision of jaunty carefreeness and total serenity.


It was mocking me: "Relak lah!"