Improving relationships with MBTI

On the internet, it's common to find all kinds of quick tests that assess your personality type. What colour are you? What occupation should you have? What Harry Potter character are you? And so on. Most of these are for fun and a little hokey because we all know that there is more to someone's personality than can be prescribed by just answering a few simple questions.

However, I've always felt that there is some merit to understanding your family members' personalities for pragmatic purposes. Knowing what makes them tick, what they need, the circumstances under which they function best, etc, can be helpful in growing an appreciation of each other and reducing conflicts.

By far, the most comprehensive personality test out there is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Some people find this doesn't work for them as their personality might not fall anywhere within the 16 types but for our family, it's pretty accurate.

The MBTI test is not free but you can try a very similar one here. Kenneth, Lesley-Anne and I tried it and we got the same results as when we did the MBTI previously. When kids are too young, their personality might still be forming so it's better to take the test when they're older. Andre only took the test about a year ago and his results surprised me a little. I always thought he was an ENFP but it turns out he's an ESFJ. This means he's caring, social and popular (think cheerleader!) but needs structure and certainty (it explains why every time I ask him to try something new, he will get anxious and bombard me with all sorts of "what if" questions).

Knowing personality types can be very helpful for parenting and learning how best to respond to our kids. Eg Kenneth, the ESTJ, focuses on discipline and structure while I, the INTP, focuses on knowledge. So together, we provide a good deal of physical and intellectual support. Unfortunately, since Kenneth and I are both T on the Thinking-Feeling scale, we tend to overlook emotional support and the double whammy is that both our kids are Fs (Lesley-Anne is an INFP), meaning this is precisely what they need! When our kids encounter a setback, Kenneth is likely to lecture and I tend to lead them through where they went wrong. But what they actually crave is emotional support and comfort. Understanding this, we now consciously try to offer this when they're feeling discouraged (even though it's quite counter-intuitive to us).

The knowledge can also allow for more effective assignment of tasks. Hypothetically if we're going on a holiday and we want to divvy up the tasks as such:

1) Logistics: transport and hotel arrangements, planning meals, getting tickets etc
2) Knowledge: do research on the historical and cultural background of the places we visit, significance of attractions, etc
3) Social: mingling with the locals, talking and spending time with them to understand how they live
4) Journaling: creating a visual and written record of photos, pictures and blog of the trip

Based on our personality types, the ideal assignment would be:

Logistics: Kenneth (Administrator extraordinaire)
Knowledge: Me ("There's always an opportunity for learning!")
Social: Andre (Mr Personality)
Journaling: Lesley-Anne (Inspired by beauty everywhere)

The nightmare version of this would be:

Logistics: Me ("Is the train leaving in 15 or 50 minutes?")
Knowledge: Andre ("Leaning Tower of Pisa...pizza...I wonder if there's anything to eat...")
Social: Lesley-Anne ("Just say hello...*10 minutes later*... just say hello...")
Journaling: Kenneth ("I think I'll just stick a smiley face after every picture.")

As mentioned, not everyone finds that MBTI works for them but it does for us. If you can find a type that describes you very well, the MBTI can be useful in many ways, such as pointing the way to career types and understanding the way you learn. Do know though, then over time, one's personality can also change slightly so you shouldn't let it define you.

Even if you don't take it too seriously, it's fun checking out the many MBTI charts out there to find out which Star Wars character you are, which Disney character you are and so on. Here's a funny one on prayer - spot on for me!  

Keep calm and mother on

I've sure the person who decided that Mothers' Day should be right smack in the middle of exams is a non-mother with mummy issues. Because nobody can be that cruel. As a friend told me, this is ironically the period when her sons love her the least, what with all the screaming and panicking going on (the mother, not the sons. The sons apparently couldn't understand why an exam period wasn't just another day, ie chillax day).

Anyway, Andre is right smack in the middle of his SA1 and Lesley-Anne, even though her exams are only after the June hols (which is even more sadistic!) is juggling several deadlines, including her first H3 Literature draft.

So Mothers' Day was a quiet affair in our household (not that I'm complaining - I like quiet). For lunch, our fantastic helper whipped up an oxtail stew dish worthy of a Hainanese chef. Seriously, we eat like kings in our home, thanks to her.

My kids somehow found the time to make something for me. All done in a hurry, I'm sure, but still very much appreciated. It's exam time after all and they know I'd much rather see the good grades, heh.

Dinner was a quick break at Aston's, one of our regular eating places. The food is good and easy on the wallet (something that's increasingly a consideration as Andre continues to eat like a vacuum cleaner!) Andre loves the rib-eye here and for just $19.90, you can get the Prime Ribeye X'tra Cut which is 250g of juicy prime steak in mushroom sauce with two sides. Can't be beat.

And since we're on the topic of mothers, a small piece of news: there's a book out by Armour Publishing. Quite funnily, it's called Keep Calm and Mother On which is pretty applicable to this period! It's a compilation of 21 stories by mothers of all ages and from all walks of life.

I was invited to contribute an article and mine is on raising a book-writing daughter, something you're probably familiar with if you've been reading my blog! Whether you're a new mum or a seasoned one, you might find solace in the stories featured here. I'm told you get a 15% discount if you buy from the link above and key in the code "motheringon21".

I hope all you mums had a relaxing Mothers' Day and remember, our kids may not always say it (especially during this period!) but I'd like to believe  we're all supermums in their minds. ♥ ♥ ♥

 

Dance little lady dance

It wasn't that long ago when I wrote about Lesley-Anne enjoying JC life, partly due to her love for dance and her Dance CCA. In the blink of an eye, it's time for her to step down as a senior (the JC2s stop CCA from mid of the year so they can focus on the fast approaching A levels).

Joining the dance group was the most fulfillment Lesley-Anne has ever gotten out of any CCA. She has not only improved tremendously on her dance techniques, she has also had the opportunity to perform many different dance styles.

Being part of dance is no walk in the park. People often have the mistaken idea that a dance CCA only dances or learns choreography. The truth is a huge chunk of each three-hour session is spent on technical exercises and each session starts with PT (push-ups, crunches, etc). Dance is a very physically demanding performing art, almost like a sport.

In fact, Lesley-Anne is now the most physically fit I've ever seen her. If you've followed my blog, you'll know that sports has never been Lesley-Anne's forte. For the NAPFA test, she's always struggled with the 2.4km run but from her dance training, running stopped becoming a hurdle. This year, for the first time since primary school, she scored a gold in NAPFA. She was so motivated she decided to try and maintain her fitness by going jogging twice a week. Here she is with Andre. Brother and sister running together! Who would've thought?

It has been such a huge blessing for Lesley-Anne to be part of her dance CCA, in no small part because of the instructor, Dan Kwoh. Despite her not having joined a dance CCA previously, Mr Dan took a chance on her and gave her the opportunity to blossom. He's a terrific mentor to his students and great at identifying potential. Eg. if he feels that a student is particularly skilled at expression, he will give her an opportunity to showcase this. He noticed Lesley-Anne's technique (as a result of her ballet training) and gave her a pas de deux (dance duet) part in the school's Singapore Youth Festival (SYF) item. Ok, it's also partly because Lesley-Anne is so petite - it means she's easier to lift!   

Mr Dan is not just a great teacher, he's a fantastic choreographer. That explains why he's so popular as a dance instructor for schools. He's currently teaching 6 schools and choreographed all the dances for this year's SYF. He held a mini rehearsal/concert for family members of all 6 schools to see the performances and I was completely impressed by the sheer scale and creativity of all the dances.

This is a pic of one of the secondary school items.

And these two pics below are of Lesley-Anne's school dance. Mr Dan tends to pick more abstract concepts for JC and this one depicts the fear and loneliness associated with dementia. I know, right? So cheem! But I thought they totally pulled it off - it was beautiful and haunting.

You can watch the full performance here. Sorry for bad recording - this was taken from our seats and we couldn't find the official SYF video online.

All 6 of Mr Dan's schools achieved Distinction for this year's SYF. I can't say I'm surprised but it speaks volumes of his skills and dedication as a dance educator.

I think Lesley-Anne is very fortunate to have discovered something she's passionate about and been given the opportunity to pursue the passion in a nurturing environment. I've always thought dance to be an exquisite art form and is pure poetry in motion. As pioneer American modern dancer and choreographer Martha Graham put it, "Dance is the hidden language of the soul." Such a blessing that Lesley-Anne is able to channel this language as a mode of expression.

"The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word." - Mata Hari

Puzzling over logic problems

I'm sure by now, all of you have read about the problematic Cheryl who wouldn't just tell Albert and Bernard her birthday but made them guess in a roundabout way.

Later, it was revealed that it wasn't a p5 question as originally thought but a math olympiad question. To me, this isn't really a math problem - it's a logic puzzle. That's because I don't love maths that much but I love logic puzzles and I'd much rather do this sort of question than: "Prove why aw32p+b53xy divided by √7421h  = a gazillion".

I've been doing logic puzzles for about 20 years (at night, before I go to sleep) and I love them. Somehow, they satisfy this little part in my brain that likes to solve stuff without massive real-life consequences. So this post is for all the people out there like me who love logic puzzles.

Did you know there are actually magazines with loads of these puzzles? I posted about them many years ago on my blog but thought I'd write about it again, in case you're interested.

Where I get my fix: Dell and Penny Press Logic Puzzles. These are magazines which you can subscribe to (6 issues a year). Each issue is organised by level of difficulty, from 1 to 5 stars (well, the Dell ones. Penny Press is similar but they don't list the stars). If you're new to this, I recommend getting one of their value packs of back editions cos it's very good value for money. Cheaper than subscribing (partly because you only pay for international shipping once).

I thought I'd give you a glimpse into the type of puzzles that are in the magazines. Here's an example of a 2-star one, in a similar vein as the Cheryl type of problem:

There are also placement type puzzles, where you have to figure out where each item belongs:

Then you have the puzzles which are solved using an elimination grid. Personally, I don't like these and I usually skip them (there are a lot of them in each issue though):

And then towards the end of the magazines, you'll get the whopper 5-star puzzles which usually take me a few nights to complete (if at all). Often frustrating but when you solve them, you feel a sense of accomplishment!

So there you go. Logic puzzles have been around a long time so the Cheryl question isn't revolutionary in any way. I think it only made headlines because it appeared as a math question. More importantly, if you don't think of it as "maths", which instantly conjures up all the negative connotations of "school", "work" and "impossibly difficult exams", it can actually be *gasp* fun!

Colour my world

I always thought I knew Lesley-Anne inside out but the day before her 18th birthday, she shared with me something about herself that caused a little explosion in my head. She told me she had synesthesia.

You're probably thinking, "Syne-what??" I know, I said the same thing.

Background: since Lesley-Anne was very young (maybe about 6 or 7), she has told me that she sees letters and numbers in colour. Because it was always mentioned in passing, I'd never taken it seriously. I've even told her I feel the same as I do think that an 'A' looks better in red than in yellow, for example. However, I didn't know that in her case, it was almost literal - she sees specific letters in specific colours in her mind.

Just to clarify, it's not a case of mistaking colours. When she reads a book, she knows it's black print on white paper. However, she occasionally gets flashes of a word in colour and if she pictures a letter or word in her head, it's in colour. And the colours (with their specific shades) she associates with those letters are unchanging over time eg. 'A' and 'M' are always red, 'D' is green. I told her to type out for me the letters in the actual colours she sees in her head, and here they are:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Lower case letters are one shade lighter than their capitalised companions.

However, she sees the individual colours only for letters. Words work a little differently because when we read, we process words, not individual letters. So when she sees a word, the colour tends to be the one most prominent in the word or the first letter of the word, especially if it's capitalised. Eg Mummy has three 'M's so it appears red to her.

But what was astonishing to me (and Lesley-Anne) was that she never realised that it was an actual neurological condition with a name. She thought everyone else experienced the same thing, partly because I had been nonchalant about it. Trying to justify my reaction now, I told her, "well, would you have preferred growing up thinking you were abnormal?" Although throughout the conversation when she was explaining to me what she experienced, I told her she was weird several times. Making up for lost time.

How she found out was that she casually mentioned it to a classmate. Her classmate told her, "You see what? Oh, it's called synesthesia!" (She was stunned that her friend knew this and her friend was equally stunned that Lesley-Anne didn't.) So apparently, there are many kinds of synesthesia, which is a neurological phenomenon where the stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to an involuntary experience in another pathway. Some people see colours when they hear certain sounds, others associate them with specific tastes. You can read some of the theories of how synesthesia develops here. Lesley-Anne has grapheme-colour synesthesia, which is one of the more common forms of synesthesia - associating colours with letters and numbers. I found an interesting first person account of how synesthesia helped him with spelling here.

Incidentally, the colour she associates with each letter would be different from someone else with synesthesia. That's why when she sees signs where each letter in a word is coloured differently, that bugs her because the shades would not be the same colours she associates the letters with. It's kinda like imposing your synesthesia on others. If you suspect you might have synesthesia, here's a free online test you can take.

Anyway, that's how I discovered something completely new about my daughter, just before her 18th birthday. And coincidentally, since we're on the topic of colours, this was one of the gifts Kenneth and I got her this year:

Adult colouring books are all the rage now and we thought it would be a great gift for her to de-stress, since she's under so much pressure this year. There are many such books in the market, we chose this one - Color Me Happy. It's really great value. You get 100 intricate pictures to colour in and the pages are made from thick, quality paper to minimise bleeding if you use markers.

Lesley-Anne tried out a page and she loved it. She said it was very therapeutic. It does make me happy just looking at the vibrant shades. (Tip: you can get a set of 30 markers for just $2 at Daiso!)

So my baby girl is now 18. She can now legally drink and drive (separately, not together), not that she's inclined to do either. "I got EZ-link card, no need to drive!" she declared. When Kenneth offered her a sip of shandy ("only 0.5% alcohol!"), she made a face and declined. She really is a guai kia.

Happy birthday, Lesley-Anne! May God release rainbow hues of blessings on you and may your life always be colourful ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Kids and mums share their thoughts on my books!

Haven't had much time to blog lately, partly because my helper is on home leave and that's when we realise just how much we've come to depend on her. There are dirty clothes to wash, uniforms to iron, meals to prepare, dishes to wash, floors to mop and vacuum, yadda yadda. On top of that, Lesley-Anne has fallen ill, which means I not only have one fewer minion to help out around the house, I've got to take care of said minion. Bah!

Anyway, over the past few weeks, I've received some really nice reviews of my books, which I'm sharing here. First up, The Good, the Bad and the PSLE: I accidentally chanced upon this lovely review by an NLB librarian. She says, "If you’re interested to read about the experience of a parent with school-going children in Singapore, do pick this up. It is a light read with not-so-light underlying issues."

And all the way in Hong Kong, a reader Alice Chan, shared on Instagram that she enjoyed the book. So happy to hear that the issues raised resonate with parents even outside of Singapore!

Next, Danger Dan. Some kiddos have been enjoying the books and their mummies have made the effort to share both theirs and their kids' views in this very informative and lively blog post.

Our favourite part was when one of the mums said her daughter was so engrossed she wouldn't put the books down even at mealtimes or bedtime. Wah, you made our day! Thank you, Mummy Angie! You can also check out the mums' Instagram posts here and here.

Finally, Lesley-Anne and I were interviewed for a Singapore Motherhood article on 15 Singapore Authors (and Celebs) and their Favourite Childhood Books.

To find out what we read as kids, click on the link. (I know, I know, technically Lesley-Anne is still a kid...doesn't feel like it though!)

Speaking of books, for those who are curious as to what Lesley-Anne is reading now, her reading list is influenced by the topic she has chosen for her H3 Literature (a research paper for 'A' levels equivalent to the S paper in our time.) Over the past few months, she has read Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (which I'm reading now, based on her recommendation), Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey and Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess.

If you're into dystopian novels, some of these titles are worth checking out (although be warned, they could get you pretty depressed). In the meantime, keep reading!

LKY - why it's so hard to say goodbye

Since news of MM Lee Kuan Yew's worsening condition broke a few weeks ago, the nation has waited with growing dread. 

Why is this so? He's already 91 and has been frail for sometime. It's a ripe, old age, he's led a full life and he clearly misses his wife. He hasn't even been involved in politics for many years now, so his death will not impact Singapore in a big way. And yet, it somehow does.

A friend wrote on his FB: "More bummed out about ‪#‎LeeKuanYew‬ health than I realised. He looms larger in my psyche than I gave credit for." Why do we feel this way?

My parents and many of their time spoke of LKY with total deference. He created an economic miracle - this little red dot that was nothing, became a force to be reckoned with within one generation. He and his pioneering team achieved the impossible, armed with just extraordinary vision and sheer willpower.

My generation was less starry-eyed. After the 1980s, rumblings of discontent started. LKY was too controlling. Too hard-hearted. He ruled with an iron fist. Two main things I personally found disturbing about him: 1) He would mow down anyone who disagreed with him. It was terrifying, paralysing even. I suppose that was the effect he wanted and it worked. 2) He glorified himself at every opportunity (which he called Truths with a capital T) and saddled me with this debt of gratitude that he insisted I could never finish repaying in my lifetime. It was a Messiah complex that didn't sit well with me.

I know I wasn't the only one. However, back then, even mentioning any unhappiness with the Man (and the Party) was taboo. So people kept their grumblings to themselves. But then, the Internet age came about. Gradually, people realised that they could get away with saying anything (almost) without fear of the ISD knocking on their doors at midnight and ferrying them all away. Suddenly, all the pent-up frustrations burst forth like a dam. The sheen of LKY started to look a lot less shiny as people focused on his flaws. In a sense, it's like a teenager who has been made to obey instructions all his life, and facing freedom, decides to release all his resentment against his parents, his teachers, all authority.

But if we are to be honest with ourselves, we should know that in the midst of poking and picking at what the Man did wrong, they do not discount what he did right. And what he did right looms infinitely larger. Some may say, but he did it all for power! I say, sure, maybe part of it was, but if you examine closely all the work that he did, hours that he poured into working the ground, it cannot be the only, even the primary reason. If he simply wanted power and money, there were much easier ways to achieve those.

And there are those who would curse him now because they say he has ruined many lives. I don't believe for a moment that these people truly care about the so-called ruined lives. (It always strikes me as ironic - those with vested interests accusing others of having vested interests). It's the need to blame someone for your discontentment and what better way to do so than create shock value and rally other petty minions. If you would curse someone you barely know so easily, it reflects on your lack of humanity, not his (and such people seldom care for others so much as they care about themselves). You can disagree and still be respectful. So grow up already.

No matter how much I disliked LKY's style, I cannot deny that he has done more for this country than I could ever envision, even in my wildest dreams. Here is a man who transformed a tiny nation in all aspects - a peaceful city with many trees and green spots, where most Singaporeans own a home, where public services work efficiently, where corruption is an anomaly, and so on and so forth. The achievements in each of these areas are so massive and ahead of their time that sometimes, I think they have set an impossible standard in the minds of Singaporeans, so that we have come to expect perfection in everything and each mistake or breakdown becomes magnified a thousand times.

Perhaps we have always known this but it hasn't taken centrestage in our minds because it's always easier to focus on what's troubling us now. It took LKY at his deathbed for the spotlight to readjust itself and for us to finally come to terms with the enormity of the man and his legacy.

LKY is the ultimate patriarch of a slightly dysfunctional family, sometimes implosively so. In a nation where we are often accused of being identity-less, he's the figure that binds us in our past into our present. That's why letting him go is harder than we thought it might be because it's almost like giving up a little part of who we are.

And so I acknowledge that I need to put my adolescent days behind me and release this security blanket. Like Bertha Hanson who wrote so eloquently in this piece, I wish him a good death. As for the rest of us, it's time to let go. Thank you, LKY, for all you've done.

 

Words Go Round by NAC Singapore Writers Festival

The past few weeks have been exciting for us. We were part of the National Arts Council's Words Go Round 2015, which is an off-shoot event under the banner of the Singapore Writers Festival.

Schools can book authors for talks or workshops and we were booked for three sessions:

The first was a creative writing workshop at CHIJ Kellock (Primary). According to the teacher, the workshop was very popular and the girls had to ballot for places. Wah! We hope they had fun.

When we conduct these workshops, we often find that the kids start out hesitant at first, unable to think beyond the usual composition style and structure. But eventually, they loosen up and you can almost see the moment when the creative switch gets turned on "ding!" Once they realise they can be as wildly imaginative as possible, that's when the ideas start to flow and we get some really great stories.

The second session was a talk for p4-6s at Bukit View Primary. This talk was lots of fun. The kids were super interactive and when it came to Q&A, so many hands shot up we couldn't get to everyone in time! Love it when we meet so many students enthusiastic about reading and writing.

Finally, we conducted a school talk at for the Riverside Primary p3 kids. What a wonderfully vibrant sea of shades! Also a wonderful audience with many questions. I wish we had time to do Q&A for our other school talks. Kids often ask very intriguing questions. One boy asked why we called the character Danger Dan when he was supposed to save Singapore!

It's sometimes a scheduling nightmare to conduct these talks (in between Lesley-Anne's lessons where she has to dash out of school after class, go for a talk and return for another class). Nevertheless, we're very grateful to NAC for the warm support they've shown us. It really goes a long way when the national body for the arts sends the message to schools that they support local writers.

Meanwhile, we were also featured in NAC's Once in a Garden City brochure, which showcases new releases in local literature for children and young adults.

Also thanks to Singapore Motherhood for featuring us in this article on what local authors and celebrities read when they were young (in Lesley-Anne's case, younger).

Now that Words Go Round is over, Lesley-Anne has to study for block tests, which started the day after the Riverside Primary talk. I told her, never mind, you can rest after your A levels...maybe!

The age of acceptance

The weekend of CNY, I received a head butt from the Goat - my pc crashed. It shouldn't have caused that much anguish because my pc had already started acting wonky a few days ago and I'd backed up my files. Except in a strange twist of fate, I backed up most of my files but inadvertently left out the ones I'm currently working on.

And when I bleated to my cousin (who's an IT engineer) for help, he came over and declared my hard disk truly dead. My files were gone. I had to rewrite an entire section of the annual report I'm working on.

That's when I decided that I hated technology and I hated Goats.

Even in this catastrophe, I realise it could have been much, much worse and in the past, I would have just berated myself and moved on. This time however, I found myself angst-ing over the situation more than usual and I wonder if it has anything to do with age.

My friends sometimes complain about how their parents have become increasingly paranoid with age, such that they whip themselves into a frenzy over the trivial things - like having family members over, or have irrational stress outbursts.

I see it too with my mother-in-law. Her sister was flying over from Perth one night and there was a thunderstorm. She woke up from her nap with great anxiety in her eyes and asked, "It's raining so heavily! How is the plane going to land?"

In the past, I would have just dismissed it as crazy talk but now, I'm not so sure I wouldn't be similarly afflicted in the future. Things that I would never have given a second thought in the past sometimes keep me awake now. Like losing a file to tech-heaven. Or maybe tech-hell.

It's not just anxiety too. I never used to think I had OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Sure, there are things I get slightly uptight about, eg I like all the books in one series to be the same edition. But in general, I like to believe I'm quite accepting of disorder. After all, I'm the one who can never keep a desk tidy.

For many years, I went for weekly aerobics sessions at a fitness centre. Then one day, I attended a step aerobics class (this was my regular class, mind you, not a first-time thing), and when the class started, I noticed that the step board was not parallel to the floorboards - it was just a little slanted. For some strange reason, the angular mismatch bothered me. I nudged it a little to the left, then it became too far to the left, so I had to nudge it to the right.

The whole time, I was huffing and puffing up the board, surreptitiously attempting to correct the wrong by jumping more vigorously on the board either to the left or right. I think it got to the point where even when it looked aligned, I was convinced it was just a few millimeter off. It drove me bananas.

And throughout the entire session, I kept having this inner monologue, "Stop it *huff*. Why are you *puff* doing this. Stop *huff* obsessing! Stop obsessing *puff* over the obsessing!" And finally, I thought, that's it. I've completely gone insane.

I've since stopped my aerobics sessions and no, it's not because of that loony incident. It's because my knees couldn't take the pounding any more. Another wretched reminder of aging.

Last week, I organised a CNY lunch for my writers. In the 13 years I've run my writing agency, the pool of writers had grown and this was the first time I'd organised a gathering for all of them. Since I'm very particular about engaging writers, I only take on people I know with proven abilities or on strong recommendations of friends. What inevitably happened was that my writers are mostly my peers.

It struck me as hilarious that when we heard that one of the writers was born in 1983, a spontaneous roar erupted over the dining table: "You were born in the '80s?" "That's so YOUNG!" In case your maths fails you, being born in 1983 means that writer is 32 years old. Which isn't considered that young in most circles (Incidentally, I started my business when I was 32. I thought I was totally mature then!). But in a sea of those born in the 1970s and even 1960s, 32 years old is practically a baby.

That lunch was the most fun I'd had in a long time. It's no surprise that I get along tremendously well with my writers but I didn't quite expect them to get along as famously with each other as they did. There they were, chatting about work, kids, food, with a familiar ease (some of them met each other for the first time that day). We laughed so hard I think my neighbours heard us. Somehow, the wavelengths just met. I told them I'd never wanted to run a large company because I hated managing people. If there's one thing I don't miss about corporate life, it's the drama. But then I met my writers and they made running my agency so darn easy and fun.

And you know what, I'm pretty sure that age contributed more than we realise. The unassuming intelligence, the sharp, wacky sense of humour, the genuine interest in others without suspicion or agenda, the adept ability to get things done without fuss. Much of it all comes from years of experience - from work and from life.

Perhaps that's what it means to age. To be so comfortable with ourselves that we don't even bother to pretend anymore. And that makes us interesting because we don't try so hard. To know that we don't know everything and that's okay, because what we DO know makes up for a lot (and there's always Google, anyway). To know that the ability to laugh at ourselves is what will keep us young, and the opportunity to laugh along with friends, priceless.

So there we have it. If I can't stop the aging process, at least I can spend it in the company of like-minded folks. We can wear our unglam glasses and curse fine print together. Or go to the loo 143 times as we drink our wine. Or commiserate about how our kids are not getting married/bearing us the requisite grandchildren/paying us enough attention. And because we'll probably forget that we did all that, we can do it all over again. Sounds like fun.

Meh the huat be with you

CNY is a very big deal in our family, especially in terms of the food. We were very glad of the long weekend this year. We made a trip to Chinatown for my mil to get her usual array of waxed duck and sausages.

Kenneth managed to find a really nice kumquat plant this year.

More huat for the Hedgehogs, please!

A tradition we've kept all these years - serving tea to Grandma on CNY morning.

On the first day of CNY, Kenneth's extended family comes over for lunch. For this mega event, my mil and helper start preparing and cooking almost a week before. Look at the drool-worthy feast!

Lesley-Anne is usually the appointed photographer but this year, she got tired of taking the usual shots and went with a more unconventional theme. (Lego minifigures supplied by Andre).

Somewhere along the milky way

Darth Vader: Noooooooooo!

Darth Vader: Yeeeeeeeeesss!

I came in like a wrecking boar!

Where's chew-bak-kwa?

For the non-Star Wars fans, this is for you (though it would be funnier if you'd watched the Lego Movie).

Trust your instincts...

Must conquer...

Everything is awesome!!

Goat Xi Fa Cai, everybodeeee!