Education is a marathon, not a sprint

Lesley-Anne's math common test is today. This test is crucial because the grade will form part of the assessment for DSA. As you probably know by now, math is the subject I'm most concerned about for Lesley-Anne, not because she doesn't know her work but because she's so prone to careless mistakes.

We've been struggling with the same issue (notice I said "we"!) for three years now and it doesn't seem to have improved much. So I'd told myself that she just has to perform her best and whatever will be, will be. But then last week, I had a sudden irrational attack of kancheong-ness and decided to set her a few sums for revision because I figured if she did badly for the test, I'd be kicking myself for not doing more.

As a result, we had one of our classic Mum-Lesley-Anne blow ups. I had only set her a few sums but she managed to make several careless mistakes. Which led to screeching (me), tears (her), sulking (her) and head-on-wall banging (me). I'm at my wit's end because it seems like in her case, practice doesn't make perfect. In fact, that incident probably just made her more nervous. And I was thinking, this is only April and I'm already so tired. How to tahan until PSLE?

Then Lilian happened to mention that a friend's daughter, who is homeschooled and also taking her PSLE this year, is so stressed that the skin is peeling from her soles and she's having ulcers. You see? It's the system! Even homeschooler also not spared! I've talked to enough parents to know that if you're in the Singapore education system, you WILL be kancheong. Cannot escape.

A case in point: I have a friend who's the most laid-back parent I know. Before his son entered p1, he was the biggest critic of kiasu parents - his take was, why succumb to the pressure? There are more important things in childhood like learning how to fish and play soccer. Tuition is over-rated. And so on. By the time his son was halfway through p1, he was completely stressed out by calls from the teacher that his son could not keep up with the work. He quit his job, coached his son at home and sent him to Kumon for maths tuition. The last time we met, he told me that he had discovered a great method for explaining maths models and that his son had scored 94/100 for his maths test. You see? Cannot escape! I'm not very gracious, I did the "I told you so" routine.

But having said that, I've always maintained that the education journey is a marathon, not a sprint. What I mean is that our children's education will last anything from 12 to 18 years. Yet we don't often think beyond the next exam. Instead of focusing on study skills, we usually zoom in on last-minute cramming.

Of course it's easier said than done. When my kids do badly for a test, I can't help feeling disappointed. But I have to remind myself what I keep telling others - marathon, not sprint. Honestly, in 5 years' time, would you care that your kid didn't ace his math CA1 paper in p2? What's more important is that in 5 years, your child still enjoys learning and has not become so demoralised or disheartened that he totally hates school. This is very real - when I hear about parents putting extreme pressure or setting unrealistically ambitious targets for their kids ("must get 100 marks for every paper!"), I wonder whether they realise they are doing more harm than good.

Exams are important. But if we take a step back and think about it, no one single exam is EVERYTHING in the entire journey of life. Yes, even the PSLE. We all want our kids to be in the best schools, to be in the best class, to be in the best programme. But looking at the whole scheme of things, even if they didn't, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Really. If you look around, many of the adults we admire today never went to the top schools and probably had done badly in some exam or other.

At the end of the day, no one singular path can guarantee our success in life (however we define success) and certainly not one school or one programme. So I'm now reminding myself (again!) to get some perspective over the stress I'm facing with Lesley-Anne. Yesterday, she initiated revision for the test on her own and I'm comforted by that. I have to allow her to take responsibility for her own studies and to do the best she can, nothing more. Train our kids for the marathon, not the sprint. If you let push them to go too fast too soon, they will only run out of steam.

The pursuit of beauty

A few of us mums have been discussing makeup and a certain "miracle" cream. Even though we are strong, independent women, we are helplessly drawn to the allure of some magic potion that might make us look a few years younger. Remember the mad rush for a certain Boots serum a couple of years ago after it was reported in a BBC programme? Even after other reports proved that it's just hype, the ingredients are no different from those in some other brands. Such is the power of the press (and the desperation of women!) But for this reason, the so-called miracle cream that we were discussing shall remain nameless, disclosed only to a select few, hehe.

I will confess now that I am a closet makeup addict. I love to experiment - glitter eyeliner, crimson lipstick, turquoise eyeshadow - it's all so whimsical and fun! (and so contrary to my usual understated preferences). And it's washable afterall, so no need to angst over a temporary change. But there aren't many opportunities to experiment, afterall you can't go for meetings looking like a teenager wannabe, so I usually just end up putting on my "safe" face - the one that I know makes me look awake without being overdone.

Beauty is not as shallow an issue as it may seem. It does require some thought, especially as mothers because the way we view ourselves physically has a huge bearing on the way our kids (especially our daughters) view themselves. To overstate the importance of beauty can be detrimental to our kids' physical self-esteem. But to say beauty it not important at all is just being hypocritical.

I've had this debate on beauty before. In fact, I wrote an article for the Singapore Council of Women's Organisations (SCWO)'s 25th Anniversary coffee table book back in 2005. Since this topic came up, I guess it's timely to reproduce the article here. I'm curious to know your views, so fire away!

The Pursuit of Beauty – Emancipation or Entrapment?

Helena Rubinstein once declared: “There is no such thing as an ugly woman. Only a lazy one.” It is as if by virtue of being female, it is our duty to be beautiful. This concept is rooted in the age-old belief that a woman’s power lies in her appearance. Throughout history, odes have been dedicated to women who have conquered men with their beauty, from Yang Guifei to Helen of Troy.

With the rise in women’s independence, we have seemingly risen above this antiquated notion. We know now that we want to look good for ourselves, not just for others, and certainly not in order to attract a mate and protector. We have been emancipated in our pursuit of beauty.

Or have we, really?

UK Fashion editor, Lowri Turner once said: “The truth is, most women dress for themselves some of the time, for men at other times and attempt a sort of compromise for the rest. If we dressed only for ourselves, we’d all wear leggings and baggy jumpers all the time.”

Beauty as a concept is almost always tied to others’ perception. While beauty and fashion magazines no longer explicitly tell us how to dress in order to snare a man, they still dispense truckloads of advice telling us how to project a desired image, whether “sexy” or “sophisticated” or “natural” (the last ironically requiring the most effort!)

To add to the confusion, the beauty industry is a fickle one, and trends move faster than the stock market. Right now, waif is out, curves are back. Neutral is passé, glamour is in. Faux bronze is the new tan. Pink is the new red. Wait, by the time you read this, melon would be the new pink.

So where lies this elusive line between emancipation and entrapment in the pursuit of beauty?

I pride myself on being a new age feminist, comfortable in my own skin. However, I am far from immune to the lure of beauty promises. Despite being fully aware of the industry’s gimmicks and high profit margins, I find myself succumbing frequently to the newest range of lipsticks. I know I am paying $29.95 for two inches of red dye, yet that little gold tube buys me a little spring in my step for a day or two.

That does not mean I am a slave to beauty. While I hope the new lipstick will step up the glamour quotient for a night out, I do not expect it to miraculously turn me into a Julianne Moore. That new face cream may erase a few wrinkles, but it will not erase the fear of ageing. Each purchase is a trifle to be enjoyed for the moment, nothing more.

And that’s where the insidiousness of the whole issue lies.

As much as the beauty trade empowers women to look good for themselves, the same industry thrives on the insinuation that left on our own, women are not beautiful, not perfect, not ideal enough. Priscilla Presley purportedly went to bed with her makeup on so that her husband would only see her at her best. A beautiful woman draped on the arm of a man is still perceived as a status symbol, an accessory. Scores of dutiful wives worry that once their beauty fades, they will be cast off in favour of pretty young things half their age.

There is a whole multi-million dollar industry waiting to cash in on these insecurities. For every advertisement offering women choices in fashion and beauty, there seem to be three which exclaim: ‘Get bigger breasts and a happier husband!” As quickly as women are gaining economic independence, enterprises have sprung up to exploit this new spending power.

Beyond cosmetics, there is plastic surgery. I am as much in favour of women holding the keys to their own enhancement as the next woman, and I see nothing intrinsically wrong with plastic surgery. It is the way in which plastic surgery is viewed which disturbs me. Plastic surgery used to be a phrase whispered behind closed doors, implying shame and a Machiavellian audacity in trying to manufacture beauty which was not your birthright. But these days, plastic surgery has become a buzzword.

I have a macabre fascination with the reality programme, Extreme Makeover, where each week, candidates are whisked off for a buffet of face lifts, liposuction, implants and laser treatments. My discomfort lies in the fact that many of the candidates are there not simply to change parts of themselves that they don’t like. Many of them appear to have defined themselves and their entire lives based on their physical appearance. They seem to believe that they can physically carve away their past by being stitched, lifted and tightened into a new life, a new self.

Yet, each of these candidates claims they have not abandoned their old selves, merely embraced new improved versions. My concern for this and future generations of women is that the “extreme” nature of plastic surgery has been reduced to a decision as casual as changing one’s hair colour. I realise there are no easy solutions, but in an age where everything has become disposable, I say: let’s not dispose of ourselves so readily.

And that’s where I think the line between emancipation and entrapment lies – whether the pursuit of beauty aims to reflect one’s self-worth or in fact, to acquire some. It’s a thin line but it makes all the difference.

In the movie Shrek, after receiving love’s first kiss to break her enchantment, the princess finds herself still an ogre. She says in puzzlement: “I don’t understand, I’m supposed to be beautiful.” And the pot-bellied, disarmingly lovable Shrek affirms: “But you ARE beautiful.” In a world of synthetic beauty, perhaps what we need are more reminders that there is real beauty everywhere - we just have to look for it ourselves and on our own terms.

- reproduced from "Her Story", Tisa Ng ed., SCWO, 2005.

Parenting that empowers

This is a rather unusual post because it's not about any of my kids. It's about one of the girls who attended Lesley-Anne's birthday party. In general, I liked the group of girls. For the most part, they are mature for their age and articulate, they were well behaved, and didn't display any of the cockiness or smart alecky sass that kids that age can sometimes have (and which I detest).

But one girl in particular, caught my eye. She had a quiet confidence about herself and she was so down to earth and sensible. All this I gathered from the board games that the girls played, where I also learnt that she is an adventurous person, cares about the environment and is a staunch Christian. Yet, she didn't come across as a prissy goody-two-shoes (which can be equally annoying) - she's friendly and was very at ease with the group. According to Lesley-Anne, she's well liked since she's genuinely nice and doesn't gossip behind people's backs like some of the other girls.

At the end of the party when the parents came to pick the girls up, I found out she had to make her way home herself. She explained, "my mother says I can't take a lift from others because I have to learn to be independent". She then asked me where the bus stop was and what bus she could take to the interchange as she had to be home before 6.30pm to help look after her baby sister. (Her parents even entrusted her with finding out how to get home).

Well! I was even more impressed by her and her parents after that. You know I believe in bringing up independent and responsible kids (you can read my post on it here). I wrote this post because this girl is a clear example of a wonderful, well-adjusted kid who exemplifies such values. And I believe that parenting played a big part in the kind of person she has turned out to be.

Of course no two kids are the same, but it was very encouraging to me that when you set out to teach your kids independence and responsibility, you can possibly see such positive results. I won't point out which girl she is (just in case, I don't know who reads my blog!) but I hope it will serve as an encouragement to you. This is what I call parenting that empowers - it really does breed great kids.

Good Friday and Lesley-Anne turns 12

This year, Lesley-Anne's birthday falls exactly on Good Friday so it was the perfect day to hold her birthday party. We don't plan a party for her every year but since this is the last year she'll be with her primary school classmates, we thought it would be nice for her to have a little celebration.

Lesley-Anne loves animals but giraffes in particular, so I printed out an invite card with a giraffe. She invited only the girls in her class (by age 12, the gender divide has become practically unbridgeable). There are 8 of them in total, excluding herself. Only 2 couldn't make it.

Right from the start, I was quite relaxed, unlike with Andre's party last year. Organising a girls' party is a walk in the park compared to a boys' party which is like trying to run 5km while juggling.

The girls arrived, played with the hamsters and then just SAT AROUND CHATTING. No jumping, fighting or screaming. Sometimes I marvel at how one little chromosome can make such a difference in behaviour!

Lunch was served. I figured since it was a small group and I could trust them to be mini civilised adults, the girls had a sit-down lunch at the dining table.

And here's the menu - two types of pizza, coleslaw, garlic bread and my trusty shepherd's pie.

I'm very happy to say that there are no anorexic nibblers in this group - these girls have hearty appetities and they walloped everything!

Here's one of them polishing up the shepherd's pie which she declared as "addictive". If you want the recipe, it's here. Honestly, this one is tried and tested!

After lunch, it was time for games. Again with 12-year-old girls, no planning is required. I just brought out the Imaginiff board game, taught them how it's played and left them to their own devices.


It was a big hit. Because the girls are all very bright, they learnt very quickly and it was an interesting social experiment to see how the other girls viewed them and how they viewed themselves. I was a by-stander and it was fascinating to me how I could figure out each of the girls' personality so clearly just by watching the game. For instance, I quickly gathered who was the diplomat and who was the leader, who was sharp and who was clueless, who was thick-skinned and who was sensitive. This is a very revealing game.

After the game, it was time for cake. We ordered a modest chocolate fudge cake from Temptations. My baby is 12!









The sweet photo.

The siao photo (I love this one!)


And here's a family shot. One reason for Andre's big smile is that he earned a free pass to play Wii at my sister's place. It was a move to prevent him from disrupting the party and was the highlight of his day.

I cut generous hunks of cake and no protests - the girls dug in. I tell you, they can really eat! One of them said, "This is the best chocolate cake I've ever eaten" and another ejected, "This is heavenly!"

I'm beaming all round - I have to admit, Temptations makes a fail-safe chocolate cake.

After that, I brought out another award-winning game we bought from the US, called Gift Trap. Like Imaginiff, this is another social game but where you give and receive gifts from other players. Winning the game depends on how well you know the likes and dislikes of the others. Again very revealing. The ones who are perceptive tend to give gifts that are better matches but it's the ones with stronger personalities who tend to get the gifts they want. The challenge is to both give and receive good gifts.











When organising a party, my main concern is always whether the kids had a good time. This party was a runaway success, evident from the fact that most of the girls were so reluctant to leave that they rang their parents to ask if they could stay longer. Don't say I not shy lah, praise myself - a comment I overheard from one of the girls: "Lesley is known for having the best birthday parties." Wah, who can ask for a better compliment?

The best part was, it was completely fuss-free. We didn't even have a mess to clean up! Unbelievable.

The final touch - in the spirit of Easter, each of the girls were given a chocolate bunny to bring home.

Since we'd already thrown Lesley-Anne a party, we didn't get her anything fancy or expensive. Just a little stuffed giraffe and a book from the Warriors series by Erin Hunter, at the recommendation of one of the mothers who visit my blog. (Thanks LL!)

And here's the birthday girl with the rest of her gifts. Most of them are very thoughtful. Home-made cards and lots of giraffes (that huge giraffe stuffed toy is from her best friend). Childhood memories should be made of these.

Happy birthday, Lesley-Anne! You may be 12 but you'll always be my baby girl :)

All the better to see you with, Mummy

Last week, Andre had a eye check in school and turns out his myopia has gotten worse, so he has to change his glasses again. Sigh. So we headed out to an optical shop.

At the shop, he tried out several pairs of frames. I picked out a pair for him which I thought framed his face perfectly and the bronze hue made him look so intellectual and demure. Look at how enthusiastic he was.

Unbeknownst to many, Andre is actually very vain. To him, his glasses are a fashion statement. Apparently, the bronze glasses said, "I'm boooring." Then he caught sight of a bright blue pair that was so shiny it could blind you. Now, THIS one shouted, "I'm cool!" (It's bluer and shinier in real life than in the picture).

No amount of cajoling would move him. Even when I told him he looked like a motor-cycle riding pai kia (on hindsight, that probably served as a further impetus). After collecting his glasses, in the car all the way home, he was musing to himself:

"Do you think my friends will know I changed my specs?"
"I think they will since my old one is round, this one is square."
"Maybe I'll ask them if they noticed anything different."

Oh vanity, thy name is Andre!

Les P'tites Poules... in Chinese

This is another post on Chinese books. Lesley-Anne found this series of books in the library a few years ago and she thoroughly enjoyed them. It's actually a translation of the French series of books called Les P'tites Poules by Christian Jolibois (author) and Christian Heinrich (illustrator). The stories are of little effervescent chickens and their very funny adventures.

One of my quarrels with Chinese fiction books for children is that they either tend to be very moralistic or just plain boring. But this series is different (maybe because it's not originally written in Chinese!) The pictures are brilliantly animated, very reminiscent of the style of the Nicholas books (incidentally also by French author and illustrator). The storylines are so comical that you can't help laughing when you read them.

For instance, in Book 1, the story tells of Carmela the chicken who was not interested in learning how to lay eggs like all the other chickens in the coop.

She dreamed of going out to sea in search of magical creatures so she ran away one night. Unfortunately, she was caught by a pirate ship whose crew wanted to eat her, so she struck a bargain to provide them with eggs everyday if they would spare her life. Which she almost couldn't deliver since she never practised laying eggs! Hilarious.


Eventually she managed to find her way back to the coop with a rooster mate and they produced a little rebel of their own, Carmelito, who decided he wanted to own a star... and that's Book 2.

I estimate the books to be pitched at the lower primary level, so they're just right for Andre now. I have no idea what's the name of the series in Chinese but the title of the first book is 我想去看海 under the author Jolibois. I think there are 8 or 9 books in the series. At the library, if you find the first one, you should be able to find the rest.

Shel Silverstein - writer, illustrator and philospher

This post is a tribute to whom I consider as one of the most original writers/poets/illustrators of our time - Shel Silverstein.

Silverstein's laid back, whimsical wit is truly one-of-a-kind. To me, he is a package of contradictions - his stories are super short, yet tell tales of epic proportions. They are simple, yet hold weighty messages. The books are for kids, yet adults love them. He's like a minimalist Dr Seuss, for lack of a better description.

Three of his books I have and love are:

The Giving Tree

This story is about a relationship between a young boy and a tree in a forest. The tree loves the boy so much she gives him everything he asks, even to the point of letting him cut her down so he can build a boat to sail away. When the boy becomes an old man, he returns and the tree says, "I have nothing left to give you." The boy says he just needs a place to sit down and rest, and the tree which is now a stump, happily obliges.

This book has sparked controversy on whether the tree is selfless or self-sacrificing, on whether it teaches kids to be selfish or about unconditional love. Personally, I feel the the book depicts the complexity of life and relationships - it's not meant to prescribe a moral lesson, the interpretation is up to the reader. But it reflects Silverstein's genius that such a simple story can stir up so much emotion and discussion.

The Missing Piece

Once again belying its simplicity, Silverstein creates a powerful message using just a circle. The circle has no name, it's merely refered to as "it". The story starts: "It was missing a piece. And it was not happy. So it set off in search of its missing piece." The story tells of a circle who goes in search for a piece to complete itself, much like an individual looking for a soul-mate. After many failed attempts, it finds a piece that fits exactly but realises that when it is "complete", it loses part of itself.

A very thought-provoking story and it's amazing how Silverstein can inject so much expression in a simple circle. Some say the book condones divorce, others say it celebrates the acceptance of self. I say, read it and interprete it for yourself!

The Missing Piece Meets the Big O

The sequel to The Missing Piece, this book continues with the theme that life is a journey of constant evolvement and depicts how people often treat others as a crutch or as a means to deflect their own deficiencies. Again, naysayers have criticised the book for playing down relationships, but I believe that the stronger message is that to be happy in a relationship or friendship, it is important to be your own independent person. The last page of the book shows two circles rolling together, so I think that's pretty clear.

If you want to see extracts of Silverstein's books, go to his website under Shel's Books - each one features a quirky animation that will give you a pretty good idea of what the book is like.

Apart from his stories, Silverstein also wrote a few collections of poetry - many of these poems are hysterical, nonsense rhymes accompanied by his signature line drawings. We have Where The Sidewalk Ends and Lesley-Anne LOVES it. Here are two of the poems in the book:


The only downside is that the books are not cheap. All of them are hard covers and I believe over $40 each. Silverstein was very particular in this respect and chose the type, size, shape, colour and quality of the paper himself. As a serious book collector, he felt the feel of the paper, typeface of the stories and binding of the books were very important and was actively involved in these decisions. He did not allow his books to be published in paperback because he did not want his work to diminish in any way.

So they're not cheap. But these are keepers, not something you'll want to borrow from the library and read once. Maybe wait till you have a discount coupon or something, but my view is that they are true gems worth having.

If music be the food of love, play on!

Recently, I had a chat with a mum whose daughter was taking piano lessons but didn't seem to be very interested. She would drag her feet when it came to lesson time and hardly practised except when her mum nagged her to do so. Her mum was contemplating letting her stop her piano lessons but was undecided and wanted to know my views.

On the surface, this appears to be a no-brainer - no interest, stop. But having taken piano lessons for over 10 years and given some piano lessons here and there, my experience tells me that the situation is slightly more complex than it seems. You see, learning to play an instrument involves HARD WORK. After the initial euphoria of being able to play a tune dies down, having to spend hours at the piano hammering away at the same old piece just to get it right can be tedious and at times, downright frustrating. So after a couple of years, the motivation to practise tends to wane and you'll find that your kid seems to have lost interest.

The truth is, very few kids, safe for your music prodigies, enjoy practising. My personal opinion is that learning an instrument requires more patience than say dance or sports because the progress tends to be slower and the practice portion not as enjoyable. So what you deem as a lack of interest in music could just be a lack of interest in practising, the latter of which probably applies to 99% of kids.

When I was in primary school, many of my classmates took up piano lessons. By p6, about half of them have dropped out. I begged my mother to let me do the same because the lessons and practising were eating into my leisure time. Basically, I wanted to have more time to play. Being the authoritarian mum, she said "no". And looking back, I thank God she made that decision because in truth, I love music, I love being able to play the piano, and it has given me many hours of enjoyment.

What all this has taught me is that when our kids claim to have "lost interest" in music, dig deeper into what they're saying and don't be too quick to take it at face value. I often hear adults saying they regret giving up music lessons when they were younger and wished their parents had forced them to continue. Would you want your child to look back years from now and think the same thing? It's not a clearcut decision, so my suggestions on what you can do are as follows.

First, examine what it is that your child doesn't like. Is it the practising? Or the exams? Or is it really the music itself? If it's the last one, then by all means, let him stop lessons. But my feeling is that often, you can't really tell, especially at the early stage. For both my kids, I tell them that they have to learn until Grade 5 (although they need not take exams at every grade before that). To me, Grade 5 is like the PSLE. It's a milestone, albeit an artificial one. It certifies that you have reached a certain level of maturity and understanding in the subject. Once you have reached Grade 5, you would be better able to assess your true feelings about music or the instrument. (Coincidentally, when I was talking to Lesley-Anne's ballet teacher, she said the same thing about ballet - only at Grade 5 can kids really make the call as to whether they enjoy dancing).

Lesley-Anne has been on the fence about music for a few years, her true passion is ballet. But she dutifully followed through her lessons until she passed her Grade 5 exams in both theory and practical last year. I, of course, had always hoped that she would continue because she's very musical, but since I had told her I would leave the decision to her beyond Grade 5, I had to respect that. So when the results for the Grade 5 theory came back, I asked her what she had decided (with bated breath). She said she had thought about it and decided she would continue learning, but without exams. Hallelujah! Can you tell I'm pleased? And once she had taken ownership of that decision, I found that she now practises more on her own.

Andre is now at the Grade 2 level and starting to be lazy about practising. He says he doesn't like exams and I'm willing to let him skip a few, but the Grade 5 rule still holds.

You can also try other ways of keeping the interest going, like ensuring that your child's teacher makes lessons fun. Taking exams every year can put a dampener on interest because most of the time is spent on exam preparation rather than enjoyment of the music, so one possibility is to minimise exams. You can read my earlier post on my kids' music experiences.

Letting your kid learn music (or anything for that matter) is a commitment that your kid has to agree to. I feel, and this is again only my opinion, that if you feel the interest is not there to begin with or your child won't be able to put in the requisite time, then DON'T START. Otherwise, you'll be caught in the dilemma later as to whether to force him to continue against his wishes or allow him to quit, which sends the negative message that quitting is ok when things get difficult or boring. Once your child understands and agrees to the commitment of having lessons, do persevere even if at times, it may be tough going. That's how you build resilience and determination.

Tips on English composition

One of the school topics I find hardest to teach is composition. And as luck would have it, this is one of Andre's weakest areas. After two years, I still haven't found any magic formula but I thought I'd share my experience trying to teach this and a couple of methods you can try.

Compositions in school are marked on two aspects: content and language. Both have equal weightage. I'll talk about language first. One of the main problems leading to poor compositions is simply poor usage of English, due to limited vocabulary and/or weak grammar. For Lesley-Anne, I never had to sit with her and go through her compositions because language came intuitively to her. Through reading, she gained an instinctive grasp of how sentences should be phrased and she can automatically reach into her vocabulary bank when writing.

Andre is completely different. Even though he may have come across a word several times, he often doesn't register its meaning until someone explains it to him. Nuances are usually lost on him, he takes meaning literally and that's why books which are loaded with figurative speech, implied meanings or dialogue just defeat the purpose. I've come to realise that he may be able to read the book but he doesn't fully comprehend it.

I'm also aware that comprehension does not equal application with Andre. For example, he may understand the phrase "terror seized him", but it would never occur to him to use it in his writing. To help jolt his memory, I've compile a list of 'good phrases' or alternative words. For example, instead of writing "happy", he can use "delighted" or "elated". The list is not very long because he can't remember beyond a few, but at least it gives him options. In Singapore, extra marks are given for good descriptions, so unfortunately, some parents have made their kids memorise pages and pages of descriptive sentences to be used wholesale. I'm not for this - offer some alternatives to spur more sophisticated usage, but not force it to the extent that it kills creativity.

To me, this is a stop-gap measure. My conclusion is that the best long-term solution for better usage is still extensive reading of a variety of books. When you've read more, the language will eventually become more familiar and comfortable, though the pace of improvement will differ from child to child. Since we've upped the ante on reading for Andre recently, he has been surprising us with his usage. A couple of weeks ago, he came home and told me casually, "I met Paul at recess, he was in such high spirits." I went, "What? What did you say? Where did you learn the phrase 'in high spirits'? That's very good! You can use it in your compositions!!" Haha, I realise I must have sounded quite nutty but Andre was so pleasantly surprised by the unexpected praise that I'm sure it's a phrase he won't forget for a while.

Next, we come to content. I'd always taken for granted that this should come naturally, afterall at the primary level, the topics aren't very complicated. Boy, was I wrong! Being able to write a realistic composition requires the child to be able to imagine the scenario appropriately, which can be quite a challenge if the child has never actually experienced it. Like, how would you write about a camping trip if you've never been on one?

One situation that Singapore exams love to dish out for compositions is the accident. I'm guessing that it's a scenario that allows the child to describe a whole gamut of emotions, that's why it's a popular topic. The problem is, majority of kids have never been in an accident! For a 7-year-old to be able talk about it realistically, either he is extremely perceptive and empathetic, or he is able to reproduce on paper what he had previously read (the latter is a much more likely explanation).

This was one of the early compositions Andre wrote in p1, based on four pictures depicting an accident (spelling and other errors are his):

One fine morning, I went downstairs to play with my freinds. I played soccer.

When my team was winning, the soccer ball rolled to the road. I went to get the ball. When I almost reached the ball, a car was coming. The car excitedly heat me. My freinds were frantic. The driver in the car called the ambulance.

When my mother came down and she look at me. The driver said sorry, then my mother replied back. She said it's all right.

Strange language aside, he couldn't fathom how his mother might react - to him, that was perfectly reasonable behaviour. It was only when I walked him through the imaginary scenario ("if you're lying on the ground injured, what do you think I would say? Will I really say it's alright? What do you think daddy would do?"), then he thought for a bit and said, "I think daddy will kill the driver." LOL!

Andre is very imaginative so if left to his own devices, he can come up with off-the-wall content, as shared in an early post. What I've done is to expose him to compositions featuring a variety of common scenarios. Not for the sake of memorising them (which he wouldn't be able to do anyway) but for him to understand what are realistic behaviours and emotions in those situations. I've also found that talking him through the situations step by step helps him visualise them better, and this has improved the way he structures his stories.

At the end of the day, reading is the best way to hone writing skills, but I hope this post gives you some ideas on what you can do in the meantime, to help your kids improve their compositions.

Lessons from Earth Hour

This is a more detailed post on what happened during our observation of Earth Hour on Saturday. I found out that four of us in a small room makes for very strange conversations that no scriptwriter can ever dream up. Especially when we have our resident comedian, Andre.

Doing justice to the event, Lesley-Anne tried to explain the concept of global warming to Andre. There was a long garbled exchange between the 11-year-old conscientious environmentalist and the 8-year-old sotong. Part of it went something like this:

Lesley-Anne: When the power company makes electricity, it releases carbon dioxide.

Andre: You mean they can make electricity?

Lesley-Anne: Electricity is made, where do you think it comes from?

Andre: From the wires lah!

Kenneth: Right, just like milk comes from the refrigerator!

Me: When we want to use electricity, we turn on the switch and the electricity comes through the wires, but we have to pay for it.

Lesley-Anne: So when we use a lot of electricity, more carbon dioxide is released.

Andre: I don't know what is carbon dioxide!

Lesley-Anne: It's a type of gas, the type you breathe out. It creates a layer in the atmosphere and traps the heat.

Andre: I'm confused.

Lesley-Anne: Aiyah, the carbon dioxide makes the earth hot, that's why there's global warming!

Andre: Global warning?

Lesley-Anne: WARMING lah, not warning!

Kenneth: Actually, it's not just carbon dioxide...

Lesley-Anne: I know, there's also methane, which is from cows' farts.

Andre: HAH?!!

Kenneth: And do you know why some people don't want to eat meat?

Andre: Because the cow is smelly!!

Environment lesson fail! Kenneth suggested playing a word game, where we would tell a story with each person saying just three words at a time. It went something like this:

Me: Once upon a

Andre: time, there was

Lesley-Anne: a boy called

Kenneth: Andre who liked

Me: eating smelly cows.

Andre: Oy!! Everyday, he went

Lesley-Anne: to school with

Kenneth: Paul who also

Me: liked to eat

Andre: hamburgers and french fries.

(Me: That's four words!)

(Andre: no what, hamburgers and frenchfries!)

(Me: French fries is two words!)

Andre: ok, ok! hamburgers and fries.

Lesley-Anne: When they went

Kenneth: to eat hamburgers,

Me: their mothers shouted,

Andre: "This is disgraceful!"

(interruption due to laughter all around)

Lesley-Anne: It costs ten

Kenneth: sheep and goats.

Me: The boys said,

Andre (delightedly): "I love it!"

It turned out to be really fun and you can always count on kids' creativity to come up with something very unexpected. We also played one round where each one could only say one word at a time (this is easier) as follows:

Me: Once
Andre: upon
Kenneth: a
Lesley-Anne: time
Me: there
Andre: was
Kenneth: a
Lesley-Anne: mermaid
Me: who
Andre: hated
Kenneth: swimming.
Lesley-Anne: Everyday,
Me: she
Andre: ate
Kenneth: seaweed
Lesley-Anne: that
Me: tasted
Andre: poisonous.
Kenneth: Unfortunately,
Lesley-Anne: she
Me: fainted
Andre: happily
Kenneth: ever
Lesley-Anne: after.
Me: The
Andre: end.

If you're looking for an innovative way to occupy waiting time, especially in the car during long journeys, this is fun and easy - no preparations needed. Try it!