The blessing of the "right" school

This week, the curtains will officially come down on Andre's sec 1 year. I write this post primarily as one of thanksgiving.

Last year when we were looking for schools for Andre, we visited quite a few open houses. This is very important because from mingling with the students, teachers and parents, you can often get a sense of the ethos of the school. Eg. in one school, I had the sense that discipline was the focus. In another, IT and facilities. In yet another, building self-confidence and self-expression (which was quite typical as it was a mission school).

Then we visited Andre's school and it was here that I felt it had the most caring culture among all those we've seen. It has a high value add score (which to me is much more important than 'O' level results). Eg. We were told that the string ensemble had won gold in past Singapore Youth Festivals which in itself may not mean much, until we found out that many of the kids who joined the CCA at sec 1 had no musical training (unlike in most top schools). That impressed me as string instruments are not easy to learn within a short time. It showed that the teachers were willing to teach kids from scratch and bring them up to par. That's commendable.

As I shared last year, in the end, Andre's PSLE t-score wasn't good enough for this school but he managed to get in via appeals. As in always the case, God really knows best. Because the school turned out to be a huge blessing for Andre.

For the first time, the school decided to place all the sports DSA and appeal kids in one class. As expected, this class is not one of the strongest academically as many of them had t-scores below the cut off point. However, this suited Andre perfectly as he was with like-minded peers, both mentally and academically. Being in the sports class had other benefits. The kids worked incredibly well together. In fact, his class was so reputed for team work that MOE paid a visit to study it as a model class on how to get kids to work better together. There was none of the usual ugly competitive spirit that typifies more academically-inclined classes. One of Andre's primary school friends is in the top class in the school and for almost half a year, he would seek out Andre at recess and complain that he hated his class and his classmates. I felt sorry for the boy. What a miserable way to spend your school life!

At the badminton CCA, Andre thrived too. Thanks to the teacher in charge who is big on values and sportsmanship, the kids in the CCA enjoy the game for what it is, and not just for winning medals. They would often ask for training even on non-scheduled training days, that's how much they enjoy the CCA. Andre found himself part of a social group that he connected strongly with. He was even made captain of the sec 1 school team - a bonus.

When I look back at the whole process of finding a school for Andre, there were times when we wondered why certain doors were closed to him. We considered pros and cons of all the different paths. So many things to think about. How to decide? I suspect it was because we were so uncertain, that God eventually made the decision for us. And it couldn't have been a better fit for Andre. He's happy and has adjusted well. It's a great environment for him to grow into his teenage years.   

I share Andre's story because I know this is a time when parents of p6 kids are thinking of secondary schools and I want to stress this: the fit is VERY important. Too often, I find that parents just want their kids in the top brand name schools, with no consideration as to whether their kids will thrive there. The competitive school environment is not for everyone. Making it through the doors really is just the first step. There is no guarantee that everyone will survive there, let alone thrive. The media and schools always flash their success stories but unbeknownst to the public, there are MANY who struggle and fall out. I know this from the horror stories from Lesley-Anne's school and from other parents with kids in top schools. This ex Hwa Chong JC student's account is a timely reminder for some that gaining entry into a top school may not be a blessing for everyone.

I used to think some of our young national sportsmen and women were super all-rounders, able to handle the schoolwork in top schools and yet ace their sports. Then I started hearing anecdotal accounts of how many of these youths struggle to cope and the schools admit them only for the glory they bring. By the 'A' levels, some of these kids are quietly told to take their 'A' levels as a private candidate so as not to bring the school scores down, or to transfer elsewhere. If this is true, then it's a horrific reflection of how warped some schools' view of education has become. Do not let your children be pawns in this vicious pursuit of accolades above everything else.

I know not all my readers are Christians. I'm not suggesting that you can only find a good school for your child via divine intervention. What I'm saying is, look beyond the academics and brand name. Put aside the prestige and bragging rights. Visit the schools and find out more about them, whether the culture is something that would likely nurture your child, knowing his or her character and needs. The right school can be such a blessing and the wrong one, the total opposite. May you have the wisdom to discern which is which.