Meh the huat be with you

CNY is a very big deal in our family, especially in terms of the food. We were very glad of the long weekend this year. We made a trip to Chinatown for my mil to get her usual array of waxed duck and sausages.

Kenneth managed to find a really nice kumquat plant this year.

More huat for the Hedgehogs, please!

A tradition we've kept all these years - serving tea to Grandma on CNY morning.

On the first day of CNY, Kenneth's extended family comes over for lunch. For this mega event, my mil and helper start preparing and cooking almost a week before. Look at the drool-worthy feast!

Lesley-Anne is usually the appointed photographer but this year, she got tired of taking the usual shots and went with a more unconventional theme. (Lego minifigures supplied by Andre).

Somewhere along the milky way

Darth Vader: Noooooooooo!

Darth Vader: Yeeeeeeeeesss!

I came in like a wrecking boar!

Where's chew-bak-kwa?

For the non-Star Wars fans, this is for you (though it would be funnier if you'd watched the Lego Movie).

Trust your instincts...

Must conquer...

Everything is awesome!!

Goat Xi Fa Cai, everybodeeee!

Much Ado About Nothing

Act 1, Scene 1

Monica is working in her office. Enter Andre.

Andre: *takes a few sheets of tissue paper from Monica's box*

Monica: "I thought you ran out a few days ago? Why didn't you just get yourself a new box?"

Andre: "I told you I ran out. I thought you would get a box for me."

Monica: "Take it yourself! You're so lazy. Why do I have to do everything for you?"

Andre *pouts*: "You're so selfish."

Monica *taunting*: "Selfish, shellfish. So I'm an oyster."

Andre: "An oyster is not a shellfish!"

Monica: "What do you mean? Of course it is!" *googles* "There, Wiki says a shellfish can refer to anything from clams and oysters to lobster and shrimp!"

Andre *protesting*: "You were the one who said Wiki was not reliable!"

Enter Lesley-Anne.

Andre: "Jie, jie, are oysters shellfish?"

Lesley-Anne *confused*: "Huh?"

Monica *reads from Wiki*: "'Shellfish is a culinary and fisheries term for exoskeleton-bearing aquatic invertebrates used as food, including various species of molluscs, crustaceans and echinoderms'. What on earth..."

Lesley-Anne *thinks hard*: "Well, if the broad definition is exoskeleton, then probably yes..."

Monica: "Oysters have shells! So they're shellfish!"

Lesley-Anne: "That's not the definition of shellfish! Snails have shells too! Are they shellfish then?"

Enter Kenneth.

Andre: "Daddy, are oysters shellfish? They're not, right?"

Kenneth *tries to remember his ancient biology notes*: "No...Yes they are. No wait, technically, they're molluscs."

Monica: "Says here molluscs are shellfish!"

Several minutes of heated debate. Finally...

Kenneth: "How did this topic even come up?"

Monica: "Oh, we were arguing over a box of tissue..."

Kenneth: ?????

Lesley-Anne: "I don't even."

Exit stage left.

See Dot Run

One of Lesley-Anne's 'A' level subjects is English Language and Linguistics (ELL) and part of it involves learning how to write for different audiences. Last year, one of their exercises was to write a short story for children with simple syntax (sentence structures).

Sounds legitimate enough. However, the example that the teacher showed the class was a story from one of those archaic Peter and Jane books:

Some of the students baulked at the tired cliches and decided to put their own spin on the assignment. This was Lesley-Anne's contribution:

Kate has a dog. The dog is white and its name is Dot. Mom and Dad love Kate and Kate loves Dot. Kate loves to play fetch with Dot.

One day, they go to the beach. Kate is afraid of the water so she stands on the sand. But Dot loves the water so she runs into the sea. Kate throws a shell into the sea. Dot runs to fetch it. They play the game for a long time. Kate and Dot are happy.

Kate throws a shell. The shell flies far into the sea. Dot runs after it. The waves are big and strong and the water splashes about. Kate cannot see Dot anymore. She runs to the edge of the sea. She is scared. She starts calling for Dot. She throws more shells.

But the dog does not come back.

She keeps throwing shells anyway.

Little Miss Macabre. I told Lesley-Anne if kids ever read that, they'd be traumatised for life! Fortunately, she didn't have to hand it up in the end because I'm not sure the teacher would have approved of such a ghoulish tale.

A few months later, the ELL class received another minor assignment to write a story for a brochure informing children about responsible pet ownership. Lesley-Anne's output was a prequel to her Kate and Dot story:

Kate was lonely. She wanted a pet to keep her company. So she set off in search of the perfect pet. She peeped at rabbits in their hutches. She watched fishes in their tanks. She spotted alley cats near the road. 

But Kate liked dogs best. On she went in search of the perfect dog. One was too lazy and slept all day. One was too hyper and jumped onto Kate. One was too noisy and barked all day. One was too shy and hid from Kate. 

One time, she seemed to have found the perfect dog. But it was too furry and Kate could not brush its fur. Another time, the dog was too big. Kate could not walk the dog. The dog walked her.

Kate was walking along the beach. She was still lonely. She picked up a shell and threw it into the ocean. Lo and behold! The perfect dog ran into the water and picked up the shell. Kate was afraid of the water. She stood on the shore while the dog stood in the water.

“Hello!” called Kate.

The dog looked up. It stood there quietly looking at Kate. It was not too noisy. It was not too furry. It was not too big.

“Come, dog!” said Kate. “Come and play with me!”

The dog ran over and put the shell in Kate’s hands. It sat quietly at her feet. It was not too lazy. It was not too hyper. It was not too shy.

“I’ll call you Dot!” cried Kate.

The dog barked a reply. It wagged its tail and smiled. Dot was perfect.

Kate threw the shell into the sea. She saw Dot run to fetch it. They played the game for hours. Kate laughed and Dot woofed. The two best friends spent the whole day at the beach. Their game could have gone on forever.

And Kate was happy. 

Can you tell that I have a morbid daughter? When you read this in isolation, it sounds like a perfectly pleasant story but as a back story to the previous exercise...shudder. The teacher never got around to marking the assignment, so Lesley-Anne doesn't know how she did.

Personally, I love it when kids show creativity and dare to think outside the boundaries. When we conduct writing workshops, we always encourage the kids to be as imaginative and original as possible. However, I'm realistic enough to know that not every teacher or examiner would agree.

Ah well. At least I know that if all else fails, Lesley-Anne can pursue a career as a horror script writer.

Homemade burgers

Our family, especially Andre, loves burgers. Some of our favourite haunts for burgers were Fat Boys, Two Blur Guys and New Zealand Bar and Grill.

That is, until I found this great recipe online for homemade burgers that's very simple but super delicious. Ever since we started making this, we've not gone to gourmet burger places. Much easier on the wallet!

Ingredients:

Makes five burgers

• 500g minced beef
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 tbsp tomato ketchup
• 1 egg yolk
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• salt and ground black pepper
• choice of herbs eg. paprika or parsley (optional) 

5 burger buns
5 large portobello mushrooms, stalks removed
5 slices of cheddar cheese

Directions:

1. Place all the burger ingredients in a mixing bowl and stir to combine. Shape into five equal-sized patties.

2. Preheat the grill. Cook burgers and mushrooms under the grill for 15 minutes or until patties are cooked through, turning once.

You can add whatever garnish you like to the burgers eg. onions, lettuce or tomatoes. We serve our burgers with home-made sweet potato wedges.

They're very moist and flavourful.

Andre eats two of these at a go!

Afternote: A friend pointed out an error in my original recipe which strangely included 4 large eggs as part of the recipe. Yikes! Sorry, my mistake! Apologies to all who tried it and must have ended up with a soggy mess. I've corrected the recipe.

On scholarships and the school of life

Now that Lesley-Anne is in her final JC year, it's time to think about university education. I sometimes get asked: will she be studying overseas?

The answer is simple: only if she can get a scholarship.

There are two reasons for this. The main one is obviously financial. Have you seen overseas university fees these days? They're astronomical and I'm not about to take a second mortgage on my home just to pay for a fancy qualification. (Incidentally, I'm also one of those who don't believe in moving house to be close to my kid's school, so what do I know.)

Secondly, unlike many people, I'm not convinced that an overseas education is necessary to do well in life. I often hear people tell me their overseas experience was invaluable. I don't doubt that. However, when I see the people around me, including my peers, I honestly don't see a difference among those who studied locally and those who studied overseas, whether in intelligence, world view or even career success. There are wide variants in both camps. Which leads me to conclude that it's really what you make of your education that's important, and an overseas education is a nice-to-have, not a necessity. Meaning, we'll pay for our kids' university education locally but if they want to go overseas, they'll have to make it happen themselves.

Inevitably, the next question when I mention scholarship is: but scholarship usually means bond! I'm sure everyone would have read about Eng Kai Er's case, which caused a ruckus late last year when she protested against her six-year scholarship bond with A*STAR, citing disinterest in her work. Like many others, I thought her attitude smacked of entitlement. No interest then don't take up the scholarship lah! In this case, she didn't just accept one but TWO. I can believe she wasn't sure what she wanted at age 18 but you can't convince me that four years later, after completing a undergraduate degree, she still didn't know science isn't her cup of tea to not apply for a second scholarship.

The thing is, her case is not unique, just that it made headlines. I've heard cases where scholarship holders want to change course, want to change job when serving their bond, want to break bond, etc, without facing the penalties. These stories bug me even more when the individuals are from well-heeled families who accept scholarships purely for the prestige and then expect the sponsoring company to bend over backwards for them.

Look, I'm not saying only poor families deserve scholarships. I'm saying, a scholarship is a privilege...for you, not the company. And as a scholarship holder, you should at least have the grace to acknowledge and accept this. If the company is going to invest tens of thousands of dollars into you, they would naturally expect returns. What, you thought it was a free ride?

But what if you're serving out your bond and like Eng Kai Er, you hate your job? I think underlying this mentality is the growing attitude that 1) being happy is your right 2) it's your company's responsibility to make you happy. The problem arises when kids have been brought up to believe that their happiness is their sole purpose in life and that the companies "owe" them somehow. I've read forums where even interns complain they're paid too little and are being "ripped off" for their work. Really? If even as an intern, you have such grandiose ideas about yourself, then your starting point is already wrong. That's not how the world works. If your mentality is as such, then don't take on a scholarship. Get a father-mother loan.

I'm probably starting to sound like an ogre now but no, I'm not actually advocating that people need to work in misery. The thing is, a fresh graduate is different from a seasoned employee. For the latter, I hope people try to look for jobs where they can find fulfilment. For most fresh graduates, I'll go out on a limb and say that no matter how much you think you know, no matter whether you've done work internships etc, there are probably lots of things in the corporate world that you haven't the faintest clue about. And the first job is there for you to learn (even if it's to learn what you DON'T like doing!) and garner some work experience. The company that hires you is taking more of a chance than you.  

I'm not saying, do something you know you're going to hate. If you dislike teaching, for heaven's sake, don't take on a teaching scholarship! If you hate figures and business, don't accept a bank scholarship no matter how prestigious. Common sense. But chances are, there are many jobs out there that you won't know whether you'll enjoy.

So if you treat your first job as a testbed and learning platform of sorts, then what's the problem with a bond? Hearing the way some people talk, you would think a bond is a lifetime of slavery. It's not. Three or four years is the NOT the rest of your life. Really. Take it from someone who's been working for more than 20 years. Even if it turns out not to be your ideal job, or you don't like your boss or your colleagues, taking a few years to learn stuff is not a waste of your time (unless there's verbal abuse or something). Make the most of it. Trust me, you will learn something.

I was a scholarship student. I was bonded for three years to a statutory board upon graduation from NUS. What did I know about the work they did before I signed on the dotted line? Next to nothing. But it sounded interesting enough and I was extremely grateful to them - for paying for my education and for giving me a job. I worked hard and I learned lots. Till today, I practise certain skills and remember nuggets of wisdom that I learned from my first job.

Quite a while back, Lesley-Anne had expressed possibility that she might want to work with me in my writing business in the future. I told her, whoever said I would hire you? I only take on experienced writers. Work a few years in the corporate world, show me what you can do, then we talk.

Ok, maybe I exaggerate a little (just a wee bit!) If she's really keen to join me, I'll consider it for sure. But what's certain is that I won't take her on until I know she can cut it, and that definitely means having attained some work experience. Basically the message I want to send to my kids is: don't expect any handouts when it comes to work. Even from your mother.

Work hard, learn something, then you can talk about rewards. Show your mettle and after that, you'll have the cards to ask for what you want. Not before.

What Danger Dan has taught us

Last year this time, our Danger Dan journey began when the first book was published. It was a momentous event for Lesley-Anne and me, to say the least.

Exactly a year later, the final book of the series is out! Danger Dan Creates the Ultimate Utama Uproar will hit bookstores probably from mid-January. Since this is the fifth book, the excitement on seeing the printed work wasn't as exhilarating as the first time. In fact, Lesley-Anne was more expectant about starting the new school year. (Sometimes, I feel like our roles are reversed - me the giddy, heady schoolgirl and she, the pragmatic, no-nonsense one.) Still, seeing the final book out felt quite surreal to me. Did we really have a book series published?

So much has happened over the past year...and Danger Dan was a big part of it. Book launches, speaking engagements, etc - and more than just being part of an exciting project, I believe they have been invaluable in developing Lesley-Anne's psyche and confidence. How so? Well, quite by accident, the Danger Dan experience has given her a glimpse of the "real" world and shown her that the education journey is just one part of life. There is a whole different set of experiences waiting to be had outside of school. So even though this is her 'A' level year, she's not single-mindedly obsessed about the exams, as some kids might be.

I need to qualify that as parents, we have always stressed this point - that exams and results aren't everything and she already knows it. But knowing something in a superficial way can sometimes seem like a platitude aimed at quelling a fear of the unknown. Nothing beats the knowledge that comes from having your own experience reinforce what you know in theory. That sort of understanding comes from deep in your gut and is usually accompanied by a very comforting sense of security.

I think that's what has happened. Because of Danger Dan, Lesley-Anne's self-assurance has been boosted and we're happy and grateful for that. She still works crazy hard, of course, but whatever the results of the 'A' levels, she knows they will not define her, and that goes a long way towards relieving some of the pressure and anxiety.

And in a special commemoration of sorts, Andre has featured Danger Dan in a Minecraft roller coaster he built. Andre has always insisted that he's not creative (a mistaken self-belief I've tried to dispel for a long time). Then he created this roller coaster that completely blew me away, especially since he only started playing Minecraft three months ago.



Pardon a mother's bias but I thought it was a brilliant visual treat (even though in real life, nobody would ride such a coaster - there are free falls!) So much thought and details went into it. He also chose and added the music for the video. I hope you will take five minutes to view the video and if possible, like or leave an encouraging comment here (on the Youtube page) so Andre will finally believe what a creative little guy he is :)

Forget me not

I love the start of a new school year. It's always so full of hope and symbolises fresh beginnings: Since my kid is one year older, surely he will be wiser, pay more attention in class and score better grades in exams! This is the year he will transform into an A student! I just know it.

Lesley-Anne once told me that our minds tend to play tricks on us by brushing our bad memories with a rose-coloured tint. It's a defence mechanism to help us cope and protect us from re-living emotional trauma. Which is all well and good but I also believe it makes us slightly deluded.

When Andre was in primary school, one of the things about him that used to drive me bananas was his seeming inability to listen, a close second only to his memory which had more holes than a gopher colony's network. For instance, in p4, there was a question he had answered incorrectly in his science paper: "Plants photosynthesise in the daytime and respire at night". I told him that plants respired all the time, not just at night. I then diligently went through the lesson with him to make sure he understood it.

The next term, barely three months later, he came home with another science paper and I saw to my chagrin that in response to a similar question, he'd again written: "Plants respire only at night."

Me *exasperated*: "I already told you! Plants respire in the day AND at night!"

Andre: "Hah? They do? You never told me that!"

Me *staring at him in disbelief*: "We went through the lesson! Weren't you listening??"

Andre gave me an indignant look as if to say I was dreaming the whole thing up. So we went through the lesson once again. "You understand it now? Plants don't just respire at night, they respire all the time." He nodded.

A year later in p5, you wouldn't believe it but he got exactly the same question wrong AGAIN. The sentence that had come to plague me in my nightmares: "Plants respire at night." OMG! I blew my top. "What's wrong with you? Are you trying to kill me??"

He looked at me blankly. "Hah? Plants don't respire at night?"

Sometimes I wonder if aliens abduct my son at night and replace him with a look-alike model.

Trying to teach Andre anything was always frustrating because even if I'd succeeded in getting him to understand something, I knew there was a good chance he would have no recollection of it later. Yet every start of the school year, I would have this inexplicable hope that he would miraculously grow a beautiful mind overnight.

Now that he's in secondary school, the situation has improved somewhat but he still has a problem with listening. Whenever he tells me the teacher didn't say this or the other, my instinctive scepticism always surfaces. "She didn't say it or you didn't hear it?" Which if you think about it, is kinda a pointless question because if he didn't hear it, he certainly wouldn't know if she had said it.

Then of course, there's the "hear half the instructions" syndrome. If I'm at a mall and tell Andre to "go to BreadTalk and tell Daddy I'll be there in 15 minutes", he would hear only "go to BreadTalk." Then he'll call me five minutes later and ask, "I'm at BreadTalk. Where are you?"

A couple of weeks ago, Lesley-Anne was complaining how tired she was.

Lesley-Anne: "I'm sleepy and grumpy."

Me *teasing*: "So those are the two dwarfs you identify with?"

Lesley-Anne: "Yup. And in the morning, Sneezy."

Me: "Which one are you, Andre?"

Andre: "Me? I'm Blur."

Lesley-Anne: "Blur?? That's not a dwarf!"

Andre: "Huh? What dwarf?"

Me: "Never mind. I think Blur is right."

But that was 2014. It's a New Year. Surely this year, Andre will make the transformation. I can feel it in my bones. 

A season of blessings

Did you have a good Christmas? We did!

The run-up to Christmas was a hectic one, especially for Lesley-Anne. However, in the spirit of Christmas, I've decided to focus my last post of 2014 on the many blessings God has showered us with.

1. A Time to Dance and a Time to Rest

Lesley-Anne embarked on a one-week trip to Taiwan with her dance CCA mates. It was a great experience as she attended loads of dance masterclasses conducted at professional studios. Ballet, jazz, hip hop, street, etc. However, it was also an exhausting trip. Apart from dancing all day, the kids had to walk as far as 1km to get to the dance studios and went out to street markets in the evenings. The fatigue plus the cold and wintery wind caused Lesley-Anne to return home with a fever and sore throat, and she wasn't the only one.

Nevertheless, it was an invaluable learning experience and I thought Lesley-Anne falling sick was actually a blessing in disguise as she was forced to rest at home for a whole week - something she badly needed to do before the craziness of the New Year begins all over again.

2. A Time to Create

We did the final edits for Danger Dan #5 just before Christmas. The schedule was so tight that I didn't have any time to feel nostalgic about editing the last book of the series. Actually, there will be another Danger Dan book but it won't be part of the storyline... hmm...that sounds complicated. Never mind, I'll explain another time!

Anyway, Danger Dan Creates the Ultimate Utama Uproar is both Lesley-Anne and my favourite book in the series, and we hope our readers will love it too! It's scheduled to be out on 16 January 2015. Will post updates.

What a juicy orange cover!

Incidentally, a wonderful reader sent me this photo of her niece who's a huge fan of Danger Dan. She visited the Epigram Books pop-up sale to get her copy of Danger Dan #4. How sweet is that?

3. A Time to Eat and be Merry

We're very fortunate that my mil, despite her years, is still in good health and spirits, and always makes an effort to observe traditions, such as making tang yuan for the Winter Solstice Festival.

And then, there's the annual Christmas eve party with the extended family - an event we all look forward to (admittedly, a large part because of the food. Such gluttons we are!) We're also incredibly fortunate to have a gem of a helper who is so dedicated and familiar with our ways that she's now able to prepare Christmas dinner almost single-handedly.

 Here's the matriarch with her grand-kids and great grand-kids.

4. A Time to Laugh and a Time to Love

I believe in laughter and humour. In our household, there's a lot of good-natured joshing which I feel goes a long way towards relieving the stresses of everyday life. Can't always be taking ourselves too seriously. Whenever one of us does or says something silly (which is frequent), my response is: "Wow, your brilliance astounds me." Or Lesley-Anne would say, "Come, let me slow-clap for you." All in good fun.

For Christmas, I don't know where she found the time but Lesley-Anne made us cushions as gifts. Creative and personalised - how not to smile at this?

Can you tell Andre loves his cushion?

As my kids grew into teenage-dom, one thing I'm always thankful for is how easily I can still talk to them. Having experienced Lesley-Anne's angsty years, I was bracing myself for Andre to turn into the Incredible Sulk but that never happened. He's still happy-go lucky, and generous with hugs and kisses (not in public, though!) I asked him: "How come you're never moody? Are you always going to be sweet like this or are the moods yet to happen?"

His reply: "Aiyah, won't lah. I'm always happy. Just enjoy life as it comes."

I'm also grateful for how Lesley-Anne and Andre have grown very close. When I tell people that the two of them get along really well despite their vast differences in personality, I suspect people either think I'm lying or that I'm the luckiest mum in the world.

And with that, 2014 comes to a close. Where did the time go? As we usher in 2015, I'm not going to  make New Year's resolutions to be better, faster, more patient, more diligent, yada yada, because I know the intent is always stronger than the resolve. Instead, I offer a different approach and leave you with this New Year quote by Neil Gaiman, one of Lesley-Anne's favourite authors:

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're doing something." - Neil Gaiman

May you embrace the many mistakes that you are about to make in 2015, and the wondrous discoveries and opportunities thereafter. Happy New Year!

NTUC Back to School Fair

Last Saturday marked the last talk of the year for Lesley-Anne at the NTUC Back to School Fair.

NTUC had invited her to speak at the Fair which was held at the National Library at Victoria Street. It's quite a big event with activities held over the entirely weekend and a massive book fair at the atrium by Closetful of Books.

It was a very wet Saturday but looking at the crowd, spirits were far from dampened. It was quite an honour for Lesley-Anne and I thought she did great. (Don't think it's mother's bias cos other people came up to me and told me the same thing, haha!) With each talk, she is growing more comfortable with public speaking and if there were any nerves, it didn't show at all. She engaged the crowd well which comprised both kids and parents.

After the half-hour talk was a meet-and-greet session where we signed Danger Dan books and met young (and young at heart) readers.

There are times when I wonder who is actually reading our books, since we don't do a lot of publicity and school talks, compared to some other local writers. Lesley-Anne is a lot more steady in this respect - these things don't bother her. During these moments of self-doubt, I notice that God often sends people my way to boost my confidence (how much assurance does this person need, He must think!) Yesterday, a sweet little girl came by with all four copies of Danger Dan to be signed and her mother told me she loves the books. Her favourite is Danger Dan #2.

Another mum once told me her sons love Danger Dan and Percy Jackson, and recently, Danger Dan seems to have taken the no. 1 spot. Wah! Such stories do encourage me so.

NTUC also arranged for us to be interviewed on camera. A teeny celebrity moment, heh.

No rest for the weary. Lesley-Anne will be off on her overseas school trip but for me, I'll be chilling the rest of the year. Have to get the mind zen before 2015 starts in earnest!

I'll be giving this blog a rest till after Christmas so to all my fantastic readers - have a very blessed yuletide with your loved ones and may the Christmas star shine brightly for you this season!