Gooey, fudgy brownies

Ever since the start of this year, Andre's appetite has exploded. He now eats the equivalent of two persons, so it can be quite a costly affair bringing him out for meals! At a recent trip to Sushi Express, our family of four chalked up a total of 32 plates of sushi, half of which was wolfed down by Andre. That's 32 pieces of sushi.

I didn't grow up around teenage boys so this voracious appetite is new territory for me. In fact, I was a little sceptical at first. Is Andre really going through a growth spurt or just a fat phase? Anecdotes from other parents have convinced me that it's most likely the former. Phew! Otherwise, I'd seriously have something to worry about. Eg. this was Andre's lunch yesterday:

Two pork chops with mashed potatoes and a heaped plate of spaghetti, followed by fruit and a glass of milk. A friend who's worried about her "tek-kor" son asked me how to cultivate such an appetite. I told her in all honesty, no need to cultivate. Just wait till he's 13 or 14, then boom! Bottomless pit!

Anyway, this isn't a post about my son's gastronomic habits, as you can probably tell from the title. It's been a long time since I posted a recipe. You might have guessed that cooking isn't exactly my thing. But since it's the school holidays and I now have an eating monster at home, I decided to bake brownies.

In the past, I thought the best brownies had to be made with chocolate, which put me off a little because it's expensive and I don't keep baking chocolate bars at home. Then I came across a recipe that said the best fudgy brownies with a chewy top are actually made with cocoa powder, not chocolate. Well! That's easy then. I usually have cocoa powder somewhere. So I tried it out and lo and behold, it was really good. So good that the first batch was walloped by me and the kids in one sitting. So the next time, I made another batch - this time a double. At least it lasted a couple of days.

The best part about making brownies is its simplicity. The ingredients are straightforward and it's a mix-everything-into-one-bowl (well, almost) kind of recipe. You don't even need to use a beater.

So here's my version of the recipe. It's a double portion and I tweaked it to reduce the sweetness. I also added chocolate chips cos I have this strange belief that everything tastes better with chocolate chips:

Ingredients:

• 290g unsalted butter, melted
• 400g caster sugar
• 160ml unsweetened cocoa powder
• ½ tsp salt
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 4 large eggs, cold
• 140g plain flour, sifted
• chocolate chips or nuts (optional)

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 165 degrees C.  Grease the bottom and sides of 13"x8" baking pan.

2. Combine melted butter, sugar, cocoa and salt. Stir until mixture is smooth. Don't worry if it looks gritty.

3. Stir in vanilla. Add the eggs one at a time, stirring vigorously after each one. 

4. When the batter looks thick, shiny and well blended, add the flour and stir until well mixed. Then beat vigorously for 40 strokes with a wooden spoon or spatula. 

5. Stir in the chocolate chips or nuts.  

6. Spread evenly in pan. 

7. Bake for about 30 minutes or until a skewer in centre emerges slightly moist with batter.

It really does have that chewy, candy-like crust and a gooey centre. When warm, it's quite light so if you like your brownies dense, you might prefer it cold. My kids love eating this straight from the fridge.
 

Popular Reader's Choice Awards 2014

More news on the Danger Dan front. First up: Danger Dan Spooks the Peculiar Peranakan Pirate has been shortlisted for the Popular Reader's Choice Awards 2014!

This is a really nice surprise for us. We're so thrilled that kids have been enjoying our books! And now, it's over to our readers - do support us by voting for Danger Dan (you stand to win $50 popular vouchers too!) You may fill in the voting form found in the latest issue of Pop Club magazine or vote online here. You don't need to have a Popular card to vote. Closing date is 31 October 2014.

And if you haven't read Danger Dan Spooks the Peculiar Peranakan Pirate yet, now's the time to do so! From now till 30 November, you can buy the book at a 20% discount from all Popular Bookstores.

In other Danger Dan news, Danger Dan Traces the Perilous Poison is almost ready to go to print. We were at Epigram Books last week to do the last round of proof-reading. See the McDonald's bag? Since Lesley-Anne always has to rush over after school, inevitably it's McD's for lunch. Not her favourite but Danger Dan would approve!

Book 4 was the one we enjoyed writing the most. We love the storyline and had lots of fun with the action sequences and dialogue. But for some strange reason, it was an editing nightmare. Even at this late stage, we found many basic errors that had somehow eluded us and our editor in the previous rounds of edits. This makes us terribly nervous! Hopefully we've caught all the errors.

Meanwhile, here's a sneak peek at the cover. We adore the vibrant shade of lime!

Danger Dan Traces the Perilous Poison is scheduled to hit the printers this week and expected to be available early October. Stay tuned for updates!

Singapore Mumpreneur Awards

About a month ago, I was asked by my friend to be nominated for the inaugural Singapore Mumpreneur Awards (Mumpreneurs are mothers who juggle being a parent and an entrepreneur). I was hesitant, partly because I thought it would be a little strange since my friend is the organiser and secondly, I'm usually very paiseh to join such competitions lah.

But she assured me that she's not a judge so she'll have no say in the results, plus I wanted to support her since she's doing such a fantastic job helping mothers return to the workplace. She's the founder of Mums@Work Singapore which now has thousands of members. Personally, I think she should win Singapore Mumpreneur of the Year!

So I agreed to be nominated. Then on Saturday night, I received an email saying that I was a finalist in one of the categories! Wah. But then the tricky bit - the winner is based on public votes and that's another thing that makes me uncomfortable - canvassing for votes. So I'll just keep this brief: I'm a finalist in the Most Socially Responsible Mumpreneur category based on the fact that:

1) My business pays it forward by engaging mostly mums as writers (7 out of 9 of my writers are mums). These are capable women who gave up their careers to look after their kids and writing for me gives them meaningful flexi-work.

2) I write a blog (this one, haha!) to share my views on education and parenting with other parents.

3) After becoming a published author with Lesley-Anne, we do our part to give back to the community by sharing how we nurtured our love of reading and writing to school kids.  

So if you feel this is worth a vote, you can cast your vote for me here (my category is the last one). You can actually vote every day, up to 12 September 2014 so if you're feeling extra supportive, you may wanna do that :)

Thanks a million!

Balancing art and business

As a writer, one of my pet peeves is that there's so little regard for originality and creativity. The prevailing mindset seems to be: it's ok to copy a style/storyline/ideas or ride on the success of a formula, as long as it sells. It doesn't help that from primary school, kids are taught to follow model compositions which of course, ends up with all the compositions reading like they were mass produced.

When Lesley-Anne and I were brainstorming ideas for Danger Dan's time-travelling adventures, Epigram Books suggested that the character had a mad scientist dad who invented a time machine. Both of us protested because it was so formulaic and overdone. They said, "it's ok to be formulaic!" but let us have the final say. (That's one of the great things about Epigram Books - they never force their suggestions on us.)

I don't blame them at all because I understand why publishers like things formulaic. It's safer. Doing something original is risky because you don't know how it will affect book sales, vs something that has been tried and tested. However, for Lesley-Anne and me, writing is something very close to our hearts and the books are like our babies - we want to be proud of them. We want to add value to the world of fiction. We want people to love the story we've created, not something that was ripped off from somebody else.

However, I claim this as my personal philosophy and not as a judgement against others because I realise that I'm in a somewhat enviable position of having a day job. Writing books is a hobby and I don't have to depend on it to earn my living. Since I'm not doing this for the money, I have the luxury of being able to write what I want (as long as I can convince the publisher!) Whereas authors who depend on writing for income are under greater pressure to ensure their books sell.

That is the one of the reasons why I don't see myself giving up my career to pursue full-time fiction writing anytime soon. I don't want to be in a position where sales become so important that I feel the need to churn out books and series at the expense of the quality of writing.

Having said that, it would be silly to deny the importance of book sales. Fashion guru Michael Kors once said on an episode of Project Runway, that fashion is both art and business. I totally agree and I feel that this statement applies to books as well. Authors need to understand that a book they put out should at least have a chance at commercial viability. Publishing something that nobody wants to buy is just narcissistic and a waste of trees. Write a journal then.

Before I become an author, I thought how nice it would be to have a book published, end of story. Now that I'm one, I find myself looking at sales numbers, hoping my books will sell well. For the publisher, sales are critical to survival. A book that doesn't sell hurts their bottomline because it translates into real costs for them. Book publishing is a tough business to be in in this day and age where reading, especially fiction, seems to be low on the priority scale of most people. The stats are pretty scary.

In a challenging landscape, there's bound to be politics and underhanded practices and it's the same for the book industry. Becoming a published author has been an eye-opening experience for me. I won't go into detail but I was like a wide-eyed country bumpkin when I heard about some of the cut-throat stuff that went on behind the scenes in the industry.

Did I expect that because this was an industry that dealt with books, people would all be aboveboard and function with integrity? You can call me sotong right now. Even a seemingly minor decision like getting a book agent for school talks and sales created a moral dilemma for me. Originally, I was linked up with a book agent whom I had reservations about because she was rude and abrasive. Later, I heard that she treats books purely as a commodity and found some of her sales tactics questionable. I saw her once at a school book sale and was rather put off by her behaviour.

I couldn't imagine partnering with someone like that, let alone entrust my precious Danger Dan to her. Thankfully, I think God must have been looking out for me because before any arrangements were made, my book agent was changed to Denise of Closetful of Books instead and it has been such a blessing. Even though Denise is less established in the business, she is a fellow book lover and only recommends books that she has read and loves. We hit it off almost immediately and I knew Danger Dan was in good hands.

On Lesley-Anne's birthday, Denise surprised her with a gift - a visual art book of writer Neil Gaiman's speech "Make Good Art". All because she heard Lesley-Anne mention once that she loves Neil Gaiman. Such a sweet and thoughtful gesture. (Incidentally, that keynote speech for Philadelphia's University of the Arts is inspirational - it encapsulates so much of my own philosophy of life. You can read it here.)

For all my naivete, I've been incredibly fortunate. Epigram Books has been a godsend. So has Denise. I don't know how well Danger Dan will do and whether it will take off, but if it does, I'm glad that I will be sharing Danger Dan's success with people who have their hearts in the right place.

For the love of ballet

Lesley-Anne started ballet classes when she was in p2 and over the next 9 years, the once-a-week lessons became a familiar and much loved routine.

In a ballet class, the kids move up the grades as a group so the parents saw the girls grow up together, at least those who stayed with the centre. It's really great to see these cutie pies blossom into young ladies.

Earlier in March this year, Lesley-Anne took her Grade 8 ballet exam. The usual pre-exam ritual - hair done by her wonderful teacher, Ms Chew:

Stretches and last minute practising before the exam:

Since Lesley-Anne began JC this year, her schedule has been jam-packed and I'd suggested that she stopped her ballet lessons after Grade 8 exam, especially since she was already in the modern dance CCA in school. However, she was adamant about continuing - that's how much she loves ballet.

It seems like God had other plans though because right after the exam, her beloved ballet teacher announced that she was moving the classes to the other end of the island. That put an end to the discussion right there and even Lesley-Anne had to admit, "Ok, I think God is telling me to stop."

It's bittersweet for her but the timing was practically perfect. And as a very nice round-up, Lesley-Anne ended up earning a Distinction for her exam.

I wouldn't say that dance or ballet is for everyone but in Lesley-Anne's case, it was truly a blessing. It gave her, a very shy girl, a physical outlet of expression and through dance, she could come out of her shell.

This was her at her very first ballet exam:

And at her last one:

She couldn't have asked for better dance mates or better teachers. What a glorious 9 years.

Mars and Venus

The other day, I asked Andre what topic he was studying in school for science. He told me human reproduction and then followed it up with "it's the most horrible topic ever".

I thought oh, it's probably because he doesn't like to hear the gory details about the birds and the bees, or maybe it's the pictures that embarrass him. Here's a boy who can't hear the word "boob" without covering his ears and emitting a squeal.

Instead, he looked at me accusingly and said, "Your menu-station cycle lah! So complicated! So many different days to remember! And all those words to spell! Like ovulation and o-estrogen!" (He pronounced the 'o').

I almost felt obliged to apologise on behalf of all womankind.

Recently, I was looking at photos of our past holidays and realised how much Andre had grown from his relative height and size with Lesley-Anne.

This was June 2012:

June 2013:

And June 2014:

The funny thing is now that Andre's taller and larger than Lesley-Anne, he's passing her sports t-shirts that he has outgrown. Lesley-Anne accepts them with grace but muses that there's something very unglam about wearing hand-me-downs from one's YOUNGER brother.

However, despite his physical growth over the past two years, Andre is still very much a child at heart. He has given me advanced notice that he intends to be a bachelor forever because a girlfriend or wife would just take up his time and spend his money. "How am I going to have cute grandchildren, then?" I pouted. "Go ask jie jie," he replied adamantly.

I've not given up hope yet. Maybe once the hormones hit him full swing, hearts will start swimming in front of his eyes. While he's no heart throb, I think he's shaping up to be quite a pleasant looking chap (ok, mother's bias) so maybe a couple of girls will start looking his way sometime in the future. They'll probably need to be a lot more obvious than flutter their eyelashes though. And if they're smart, they won't use the word "boob".

Bringing Danger Dan to schools

During the June holidays, we had a break from school talks but once Term 3 began, our school talk circuit kick-started once again.

Lesley-Anne and I were very privileged to have been invited to speak at and conduct a workshop for the inaugural Writer's Congress, organised by the East Zone Centre of Excellence for English Language (Primary).

Some 43 students from various primary schools in the East Zone attended the workshop which focused on creative writing. The kids were very engaged and participative, especially during the game segments.

There was a period when the kids had to wait to leave the classroom and they all whipped out Danger Dan without prompting!

Queuing up for autographs.

After the workshop, the students had to fill in a feedback form and we were sent the results last week. About 80% gave us an 'Excellent' rating and more than 95% gave us an 'Excellent' or 'Very good' rating! Yay! Some of the written comments mentioned that the sharing session was really inspiring and this was one of the best programmes they've attended. Such encouraging feedback - we feel very blessed indeed.

If you're a teacher and would like us to speak at your school, you may contact our book agent, Denise at denise@closetfulofbooks.com or 9146 5522. We have a half-hour talk ideal for morning assembly where Lesley-Anne shares how she grew her love of reading and writing, and how she overcame obstacles to become a published author. We also conduct a 1.5-hour creative writing workshop, similar to the one mentioned above. Target age for both the talk and workshop is p3-6.

Here's a picture of a school talk I did a couple of weeks ago at Corporation Primary School. I did this one solo as Lesley-Anne had lessons in school.

Incidentally, we received this book review from an eight-year-old boy named AJ. We're so thrilled by the effort he put into both the writing and drawing. We think he's enormously talented and we love how he calls Danny's ears "extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely ginormous"! Thank you, AJ, you made our day! 

Increasingly, we've been hearing how kids enjoy our books and that makes us really, really happy. A mum told me that her son has been finding school stressful ever since they returned to Singapore and she's glad to see him chuckle to himself when he reads Danger Dan. Many Singaporean kids are far too serious and have little leisure time, so to know that our books make them laugh is the greatest feeling ever.

So here's a call to action: if your kids are between the ages of 8 and 12 and have enjoyed reading Danger Dan, why don't you drop us a line? We're looking to print readers' reviews in our upcoming Book 4 - Danger Dan Traces the Perilous Poison. Get them to pen a couple of sentences telling us why they like Danger Dan and send us a message on the Danger Dan Facebook page.
 
You can see samples of students' reviews in Danger Dan book 2 & 3 (page 1). Deadline: National Day, 9 August 2014.

Danger Dan book 4 in progress!

Here's a short update on Danger Dan: book 4 - Danger Dan Traces the Perilous Poison is shaping up very nicely! We met up with Epigram Books recently to discuss illustrations and edits and we're very pleased with how everything looks.

This is the part of the process that's the most fun - when the text is 90% ready and we see our words come to life under the hands of our wonderfully talented illustrator, James and designer, Lydia. Sometimes when suggesting illustrations, Lesley-Anne and I would wonder if it was even possible to draw Danger Dan with such complex expressions but we've never been disappointed yet!

Proposed covers. The difficulty was coming to a decision - around the table, we all liked a different one!

Danger Dan Traces the Perilous Poison is expected to be published in October, just in time for the year end school holidays. We're looking to print kids' reviews in the book so if your kids are between the ages of 8 and 12 and enjoy reading Danger Dan, why don't you drop us a line? Ask them to pen a couple of sentences telling us why they like Danger Dan and send it to us via private message on the Danger Dan FB page. You can see a sample of these reviews on the front few pages of Danger Dan books 1-3.

Deadline: National Day, 9 August 2014. We also welcome reviews from social studies/history or English teachers. If you're one and you think Danger Dan is great for kids, we'd love to hear from you!

Just another view on the NLB book-banning saga

Regarding the recent NLB saga, I initially told myself I wouldn't comment on it. It wasn't that I had no views on it - I had mighty strong views. But I found the whole incident distasteful and there was already so much mudslinging, I didn't want to add to the controversy. So I stayed silent and I even tried to stop reading articles.

But my FB newsfeed kept flooding with all kinds of headlines that screamed at me. Then yesterday, a reader Grace posted in the comments column asking me what I felt as a mother, writer and Christian. I told her I didn't want to write about it but later, it nagged at me that she was right. This saga hits me on all three fronts. By not addressing it, I was behaving like an ostrich. So I mustered up my courage to write a post and here are my views on the matter:

More than whether I feel that banning the books was right or wrong, I felt that it was UNNECESSARY. It turned a small matter into a colossal one. It widened the rift that had already begun to grow in recent years and became a battle of us against them.

As a result of the book banning, some Christians may congratulate themselves on having "won" this battle but the fact is we have won nothing. We have turned our backs on people, told them they have no place in our public libraries and in doing so, turned away more people from Christ than ever.

As a Christian, I believe that homosexuality is wrong because it says so in the Bible, which I accept as truth.

"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality." - 1 Cor 6:9

However, the Bible never said to bring out your pitchforks. That's where I think many Christians trip up. I get the impression that Christians sometimes feel like they're obliged to take certain sides. If homosexuality stands on one side, they HAVE to take the other side because that has to be the right one. It's almost as if how hard I wave the anti-Pink flag is an indication of how strong my faith is.

I beg to differ. Taking actions in the name of Christ is dangerous when it's done without thought or love. Just because you call on God's name doesn't mean what you're doing is holy. For example, the witch trials in Salem in 1692 - where they persecuted and put "witches" to death, was done in the name of the church. I'm sure all the people who were for it thought they were fighting the good fight against Satan. It's mob mentality and religious frenzy at its worst, preying on the irrational fears of people.

Standing up for what we believe in should not entitle trampling on what others believe. Otherwise you might as well disband the Presidential Council for Religious Harmony (of which the Archbishop is a member). And going with the majority is a flawed argument. If you lived in a Muslim country, would you readily accept that you had to live by Islamic beliefs because they formed the majority? Or would you want the freedom to live out your own beliefs?

If only Christians would pour as much energy into eradicating some of the other sins listed in the Bible: greed, lust, envy, sloth, anger and pride, for example. Incidentally, the greatest sin is Pride. Not homosexuality. Pride.

"He is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions." - 1 Timothy 6:4

Sometimes, I wonder why some Christians make such a big deal about homosexuality vs all other sins. I suspect it's because for all other sins, it's hard to claim we're blameless. We have all lied at some point, been envious (that rich guy throwing money around!) or been lazy (played Candy Crush when we were supposed to be working!) But in the area of homosexuality, straight Christians know they have not and will never sin there. So it's easy to focus on that. If that's true, then we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves and realise that our feverishness against homosexuality has nothing to do with righteousness and everything to do with self-righteousness. Another possible reason is the fear of a community we don't understand. And so instead of trying to understand and empathise, we choose to shun and despise.

Now, let's come back to the book banning and look at the books in question: parents said they didn't want their four-year-olds to accidentally come across the books and somehow be corrupted by the gay agenda. First, there are like a gazillion books in the library and the chance of your kid picking it up is already slim. Second, if you are a concerned parent, you're likely to pick the books for your four-year-old. But ok, for the sake of argument, let's say your child really does pick out this one book unsupervised and reads about two male penguins looking after a baby penguin. What are the chances he'll make the connection: "Oh! It's telling me a family can have two daddies and no mummy!" And then, finally make the further ludicrous connection: "I therefore want to be gay!" Seriously. Adults are the ones who project their own beliefs and prejudices onto things. Not children. Four-year-olds are more likely to think: "That baby penguin is very cute. I wonder if I can get mummy to buy me a toy penguin."

By banning these books, we're enabling a breed of parents I often come across - protective to the point of paranoia, where they feel they need to bubble wrap their children to shield them from every danger in life, real or imaginary.

And why only ban these books? Do you know there are children and young adult books that feature premarital sex? And divorce? These are all sins in the Bible too. (I sure hope I'm not giving NLB any ideas). And why stop there? What about books that depict greedy, envious, lazy, proud children? As a writer, I'm concerned that an institution should decide for me what sort of books I can let my children read. Already sometimes I feel that in writing, I have to be over-the-top mindful of being politically correct, lest people read some hidden meaning in my books, even if totally unintended. And as a writer, I'm completely opposed to the pulping of books because it disturbs me that a national library should think it's ok to destroy books. That's just a slap in the face.

To me, this unnecessary action of banning the books has snowballed into unhealthy territory. It legitimised zealots who now think that with the "majority" and authorities on their side, it's ok to publicly display their hate and disdain for LGBTs. There's already an anti-Pink Dot group formed. I foresee the LGBTs will retaliate with something else, and so on. Kinda like Palestine vs Israel - after a while, nobody cares who's right and what they're fighting for any more. Each side just wants to win.

It upsets me to see so many Christians behaving in such an un-Christian manner. The problem is that none of these actions were done in the "love thy neighbour" spirit. As long as something is done in the spirit of hate and strife, it's not backed by the Bible.

If you remember, Jesus regularly mingled with the people on the fringe of society - prostitutes, tax-collectors, lepers. He never lobbied for these people to be tucked away out of sight. He never lobbied for their rights to be taken away from them. He lived among them and made them feel loved.

It was precisely why the Pharisees were rebuked by Jesus although they were the religious leaders of their time. They were superior and judgmental. Behind their actions was not love for their fellow beings but self-satisfaction.

"Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." - Romans 12:16

Pope Francis, ever since he became Pope, has steadily conquered hearts and minds across the world. He says unequivocally that homosexuality is a sin. But he also said: “If someone who is gay and is sincerely seeking God who am I to judge? They shouldn't be marginalized.” Here is a man who gets it.

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." - Matthew 7:1-5

These are MY views - I can't stress that enough. You don't have to agree with them. But if it helps seed the idea that perhaps peace is the way forward, not war, then that's enough for me, as a mother, writer and Christian.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." - Mark 12:30-31

Student + dying = studying

When it comes to study methods, my kids are as different as night and day (ok, who am I kidding, my kids are different, full stop.)

Lesley-Anne is methodical and focused. She makes her own notes using multi-coloured pens and highlighters, and annotates her texts almost religiously. If there's something she finds difficult to remember, she tries different ways to jolt her memory, like redoing notes in other formats or organising them in little post-its which she sticks on her wardrobe. During exam periods, she holes herself in her room and emerges only for toilet and food breaks.

Andre, on the other hand, will simply stare at his books with a pained expression worthy of a Brazilian today after the World Cup semi-final match. When I catch him goofing off, he'll reluctantly read and re-read his textbooks. I tell him that reading the textbook is a very ineffective way of studying and force him to make notes, which he obediently does. Unfortunately, he copies down stuff in a notebook but without any form of processing so that when I do a random spot check and shoot him a question about something he'd just written half an hour ago, I'm usually rewarded with a blank look.

During exam periods, I suddenly behave like I have a multiple personality disorder. You'll hear me calling out to one kid: "Why don't you take a break? Like, really, take a break!" while screeching at the other: "Go study now! Enough with the breaks!"

Andre was supposed to study 50 成语 (idioms) during the school holidays. During the last week of the holidays, I asked, "Have you studied them?"

Andre: "They're very hard!"

Me: "I didn't ask you whether they were hard! I asked whether you studied!"

Andre: "But they're really very haaaaaaarrd! Even my friend who's very good in Chinese says they're IMPOSSIBLE." (Translation: he didn't do squat).

Me: "GO STUDY THEM NOW."

Two days before school reopened...

Me: "So do you know your 50 成语?"

Andre: "I think not bad. I roughly know 32."

I didn't dare ask what "roughly" meant.

Meanwhile, I asked Lesley-Anne whether she'd finished studying for her block tests, which were sadistically scheduled right after the June holidays.

"Well, more or less but you can never really finish studying for GP." And she scooted back to her room to do more revision.

How on earth did I spawn these two kids? I bet God is laughing at me right now.

These anecdotes make for a funny story but as parents, there's the underlying concern that our kids are not motivated to do well in school. I can keep nagging at Andre to study harder but my personal belief is that by the time our kids hit secondary school, they're too old to be hand-held and constantly told what to do. The motivation to study needs to come from within. They need to take ownership of their actions and understand the consequences, because at the end of the day, it's their life.

For my kids, I feel it all boils down to the fact that Lesley-Anne sees meaning in what she's studying whereas Andre doesn't. Over the past six months or so, Kenneth and I have had chats with Andre about his future and what he wants to do in life. He's told us in no uncertain terms that he's tired of all this mindless studying for subjects which he feels has no bearing on his future.

I've always believed that as parents, our role is to help our kids identify their dreams and goals in life, then provide the guidance and support to help them achieve these goals. The thing about kids is that they often don't know what opportunities are out there so their mindsets are pretty limited. So for Andre, what we did was to consider his personality, his abilities and interests, and show him what the possible options are. We showed him websites, let him talk to various people and the upshot of it is that he's now very keen on going into a particular industry.

I won't disclose what it is yet as it's still early days and things can easily change but for now, Andre's eyes light up whenever people talk about working in the industry. Even though it's a long way for him before deciding on a career path, having a goal such as this is good for kids like Andre who find school dull, because it gives them purpose. It also gives them direction which has immediate value for charting the education journey (eg. what subjects or courses to take). Andre now knows for each next leg of his schooling path, what he needs to achieve, which is more tangible than just "study hard and get good grades".

Little steps but hopefully in time, we'll get there.