Badminton gold

It was a happy, happy Sunday for Andre when he finally won his first medal for badminton.

Admittedly, it was only a small scale competition organised by a community centre and the competition was not as stiff as say, the inter-school tournaments. But still, a medal is a medal and it was the gold medal to boot.

As you can tell from the picture, Andre is beyond ecstatic over the win. This definitely provided a booster shot to his confidence, hopefully it will spur him to train even harder.

Here's a snippet from his final match (can you see his magic red shoes?)

Let's try Mummy's Supplementary

Recently, there was some debate in the local media as to whether schools are being too kiasu in introducing supplementary classes from as early as p3. To me, this is one of those issues that will never find consensus. It irks me sometimes to hear people (usually non-parents) make dumb comments like, "Parents are impossible to please lah. Have also complain, don't have also complain." Well, duh, it's never the same set of parents!

I feel the parents who want the supplementary classes treat these the same way they treat tuition (which I wrote about here) - it's a crutch, since everyone else is doing it, their kids better do it too otherwise they'll lose out. Others just consider it free tuition, the more the merrier.

Andre's school implemented compulsory supplementary classes twice a week for p5 kids this year. Previously they only had supplementary classes for the top few classes and remedial classes for the bottom few but parents in the middle classes started complaining so they decided to institute a blanket rule for all.

Andre's schedule is already pretty packed, what with badminton training, piano lessons and Chinese and English tuition. So you can imagine I didn't welcome the news that he would have to attend supplementary classes.

Don't be mistaken, I'm not against supplementary classes per se, I'm just against herd mentality supplementary classes. Remedial classes work because they take place in small groups and target specific kids with specific weaknesses. The problem with most school supplementary classes is that they're really just extended curriculum sessions for the teacher to finish what she couldn't cover in class or do corrections, etc. Sometimes, teachers just dole out extra worksheets and then provide the answer key for kids to mark the work themselves.

I can't really blame the teachers, they have enough on their plates. Supplementary classes mean extra time and extra work for them. For the kids however, this is hardly productive. After 6 hours at school and a short lunch break, they have to sit down for another two hours of drills. I'm pretty sure very little real learning actually takes place. Worse still, by the time they reach home, they're mentally exhausted which means it's a challenge just to get them to finish homework, let alone do extra revision.

So after some heavy pondering, I wrote to his English and math teacher asking if Andre could be excused from the two supplementary classes. My rationale to them was that his two hours would be better spent with me doing one-on-one revision with him (which I would have to give up if he went for supplementary due to the sheer lack of time).

I was hopeful but not entirely optimistic the teachers would acquiesce since the classes were supposed to be compulsory. To my delight and surprise, both teachers agreed to my proposal. They were very understanding and said they would hand him any additional materials that were being done during supplementary classes. (Have I mentioned that I love this school?) I suppose one can construe that they're passing the buck to the parent but I appreciate that they're flexible enough to bend the rules when it makes sense. Not every teacher will do that.

I didn't ask for Andre to be let off Chinese supplementary class because that's one subject I can't help him with, and since the science class is held immediately before the Chinese one, it made sense logistically to let him attend that as well.

So now the onus is on me and I'll admit I'm a little nervous. It takes a great deal of gumption to believe that you can coach your child better than the school can and I'm not that brash to not have my moments of doubt. The CA1 is next week and I guess that's the acid test.

Meanwhile, even though Andre has to stay home and be drilled (and yelled at) by me as the price for missing his supplementary classes, he seems to be relishing it. A classmate asked him indignantly, "How come you don't have to go for supplementary?"

Andre replied with a broad smile, "I live a good life."

Hugs and kisses

Andre's notoriously bad at birthdays. I predict he'll become one of those boyfriends who get into trouble for forgetting their significant other's special day and insist on getting married on Christmas/Valentine's Day/National Day just so he wouldn't have to remember anniversaries.

This year, he completely forgot my birthday (once again). If there are kids reading this, let me alert you to this very important fact: FORGETTING YOUR MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY IS A CARDINAL SIN. It's in the Mother's Bible which your mum received when she was in labour with you. You break that rule, she has the right to remind you loudly about your erroneous ways at strategic moments (when you're in school surrounded by your friends, for instance).

To Andre's credit, to make up for his oversight, instead of rushing to produce a 5-minute spontaneously scribbled birthday card, he spent a whole morning creating this:

Umm... a tissue box? Ah but it's not just any old tissue box. Inside, he'd filled it with little scraps of paper, each with the picture of a pair of hands or lips.

The idea is, anytime I felt like it, I could draw out a piece of paper and if it showed hands, I would get a hug from him. If it showed lips, I would get a kiss. I've used it quite extensively so far and it never gets old.

The best part? Andre assures me the gift will never expire. ♥♥♥

The girl who is humanities-bound

If there ever was any doubt that Lesley-Anne is right brain-oriented, this removed it once and for all.


This is the result of the Higher Ability Selection Test administered by the Australian Council for Educational Research that Lesley-Anne sat for late last year. The school made all the students who entered via DSA sit for the test, to see if it can replace the current General Ability Test (GAT) for DSA applicants. I suppose they want to assess if the results are consistent with those of the GAT.

The test comprises a few comprehension passages, a series of math questions and a writing test. Since there are two English components and only one math component, it seems to me the test is slightly skewed in favour of those good in language. That definitely contributed towards Lesley-Anne's total score (not that we're complaining).

Anyway, this test sort of came at the right time. Since Lesley-Anne is is in sec 2, she'll have to choose her stream for sec 3 and 4 by the end of this year. The results confirm our belief that she'll fare much better going down the humanities route instead of the ever popular triple-science stream.

The red shoes

You're looking at the most expensive pair of shoes in our household. And it belongs to the youngest member of our family.

It's not that we believe in spoiling our kids. What really happened was, two days before Chinese New Year, Andre's badminton shoes tore. It couldn't have happened at a more inopportune time. He had intensive training lined up and it was right smack in the middle of the zonal inter-school badminton tournament. With shops closing for the CNY holidays, it was a race against time.

So began a desperate hunt for a pair of replacement shoes and it was a frustrating one. Andre's feet are at an awkward size now, too large for junior sizes and too small for adult sizes. We also realised that compared to say, tennis shoes or running shoes where a myriad of brands and choices await, badminton shoes are annoyingly limited.

After several calls, we finally found a shop which had something to offer - this eye-catching crimson pair at a whopping $140 (discounted from $189!) Even then, the shopkeeper didn't have them on stock and had to collect them from the Yonex store. Apparently, this is the model Taufik Hidayat wears.

In case you're not aware, Taufik (right pic) is an Indonesia badminton player and former Olympic champion. As at Feb 2011, he's ranked the World no. 2, just behind Malaysian Lee Chong Wei. In fact, Yonex also carries the pair that Lee wears but it costs an additional $5 and I was adamant about not parting with any more cash.

"At $140, you better start playing like Taufik or I'm returning them!" threatened this very demanding mother. Andre was undaunted. He loved his red shoes and proclaimed that they helped him jump higher, run faster, even feel taller.

Astonishingly, at the very next badminton match, Andre played like a demon, impressing even the coach. He still lost the match (he met some extremely formidable opponents this year) but it's nice to see that he can hold his own against some of the stronger players in his cohort.

So was it the shoes? I'm sure it's more psychological than miracle but at least he's earned the right to wear them for now.

Hoppy New Year! 兔年快乐！

How did you usher in the Year of the Rabbit?

Ours was one of over-eating... as usual. Chinese New Year brings out the gluttons in all of us and right from the Reunion dinner, we steadily feasted our way through a series of delectable meals, peppered with snacks in between. Even as I type this post, I have a bottle of prawn rolls in front of me and wondering why my pants have again, mysteriously shrunk in the wash.



This being the year of the Rabbit, of course the White Rabbit sweet had to make an appearance. I hear melamine in small doses is harmless. Oh wait, didn't they change the formula? Too bad, I think it was the melamine that made it yummy.

Then there was the saga of our pussy willow. Usually, we buy pussy willow that comes in a bundle and just stick them in a narrow pot. This year, we decided on the spur of the moment to buy the potted pussy willow from Ikea (mainly because the accompanying crimson pot with the auspicious 福 was so pretty).

We'd never encountered pussy willow grown in soil before, so we were totally fascinated when it started sprouting leaves. Kenneth, not wanting it to bloom too much, decided not to water it, leading to all the leaves wilting about a week before CNY. We're a family of blue fingers.

After trimming the dead leaves, we discovered the branches had begun to lean to one side. Plant moves towards sunlight, ohhhhh.... It was like an evolving science lesson. Futile attempts were made to coax the branches towards a more balanced position.

In the end, it kinda worked itself out (with a little help from newspaper stuffing in the pot).


Chinese New Year is primarily about family afterall and it was great fun catching up with relatives we see just once a year. It's also a little sobering to realise that the number of places you visit decreases as the years go by, due to deaths of older folks. Always a timely reminder to cherish loved ones.


兔年吉祥, 年年有馀!

Footballer for a day (or month)

For the past few weeks, Andre has been dressed in the garb of his favourite footballer. This was a shirt and shorts set we found in Bangkok and bought just for fun. I think we paid about THB 220 for it or about S$10.

What we didn't count on was that Andre would wear this day in, day out and only remove it reluctantly when it became grimy enough for me to yell at him to change. The minute it's laundered and dry, he wears it again. If he could wear it to sleep, he would.

I've already heard Kenneth groaning more than a couple of times, "Messi again??"

I'm not sure what it is, Andre isn't even a soccer fan. Messi is one of the few footballers he knows, I don't think he can name 5 others. I've come to the conclusion it must be material of the shirt - it's soft, cool and very comfortable.

So Lilian, if you're ever back at Chatuchak, I just might have to tompang you to get me an entire football team's worth of shirt sets.

(Mini Messi from the back)

Education and the great divide

A few days ago, the local news profiled MM Lee as saying that the main difference between students in "branded" and non-branded schools is parents' educational backgrounds. Branded schools have a much higher proportion of students with graduate parents, which according to him, provides for a more favourable learning environment for the child.

His advice to less educated parents is to bring their kids to the library early and teach them to acquire knowledge by themselves.

If only it were that simple! While I agree that the free educational resources in Singapore, like libraries, access to IT etc, are excellent, they're not enough to make up for the enormous disparity in resources and opportunities (which I feel is the real crux of the matter but not an issue MM Lee would want to address because it's an inevitable fallout of a capitalist system and has no solution).

The proliferation of tuition centres and enrichment programmes across the island demonstrates that these are no longer occasional luxuries, they are de rigueur in many families. How then, do you compare the standard between a child who has individual coaching in every subject and is groomed to answer each question to a T versus the child who has to depend solely on what he learns in school, without parents able to provide additional guidance?

You may say, well the second child just has to work harder. True, but more and more in our society where the playing field is constantly being leveled up exponentially, the odds of his ability to play catch up are quickly diminishing. I feel that's why these days, you hear less and less of national scholars with hawker or taxi driver parents. They're now largely from middle class families.

It's time for the zonal badminton school competitions once again and yesterday, I was at one of the matches to support Andre, who incidentally has been appointed co-captain of his school's junior team this year. The school they were playing against is a neighbourhood school not known for its academic standards. As I looked at the kids, I realised instantly these are not privileged kids. They wore faded PE t-shirts and school shoes. They were as hyper as hamsters on steroids and I'm guessing, not the type who would typically do well in school academically.

Those kids clearly had no external coaching and were participating in the competition for the first time. Nevertheless, they showed unbridled enthusiasm and even as they were getting trounced, they gave everything they had. Their team mates cheered with gusto every time one of their friends managed to win a point. One boy in particular, impressed me. He's pint-sized, skinny and even though his opponent was making him dance circles around the court, he ran down every single shuttlecock like Speedy Gonzales. Andre's school coach told the team, "see, I want that sort of determination!"

Andre's team eventually won the match 5 games to nil and that was a great boost of confidence to the school but amidst the celebration, I just felt for the kids at the other school. Their spirit was such a contrast to the students from those of one of the top national badminton school teams (and a branded school), which was also at the venue yesterday. Those students showed an aggressive, competitive streak. They trained up to 7 times a week, most of them had additional coaching outside of school. They played badminton purely to win.

The thought then hit me how lucky our kids are. Where we see talent, potential or interest, we can provide the opportunities for them to nurture these areas. From yesterday, I saw that many other kids are not so fortunate. Even if they have the passion for badminton, their parents may not have the time or money to help them develop their skills.

Singapore can claim to have the Junior Sports Academies and the Sports School to groom sports talent but I know for a fact that to pass the trials, you need to already have some level of proficiency in the sport and those who make the grade almost always have external coaching. Potential and interest are not enough to get you past the door, which means kids like those at the school Andre played against yesterday will never get the opportunity.

I don't believe that money can buy success but it's hard to dispute the fact that money can buy you opportunities which increase your chances for success. If there was a Lee Chong Wei or Lin Dan from a disadvantaged family in Singapore today, would we be able to discover him?

We all love to hear underdog stories but instead of merely celebrating how some guy managed to beat the odds, it's my wish that our society can help increase the odds for these folks.

Weighing in on the Tiger Mother

For the past couple of weeks, netizens have been up in arms about Amy Chua. I will state for the record that I wrote this post yesterday, before today's deluge of articles on the topic in the Straits Times, so these are strictly my views. In any case, Amy Chua is a professor at Yale Law School who just published a book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Penguin Press. The Wall Street Journal printed an excerpt from the book entitled "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior" which led to an uproar throughout the US (and thanks to the Internet, halfway across the globe).

In essence, it talks about why the Chinese parenting style produces more math whizzes and music prodigies than Western parenting, the latter she clearly considers soft and over-coddling. The excerpt describes her personal parenting practices for her two daughters, which include not being allowed to go for sleepovers or playdates, no tv or computer games, no grade less than an A. She has called her kids "lazy"and "garbage". When her 7-year-old daughter couldn't perfect a difficult piano piece, Amy forced her to practise for hours without water or toilet breaks until she got it right, threatening her with no lunch, dinner and birthday presents. I recommend you read the whole article (if you don't, Amy might say you're "cowardly" and "pathetic").

It all sounds like something from a Nazi camp, yet has familiar echoes. I think anyone who has a Chinese parent or is a Chinese parent would recognise the tune to which Amy sings, even if it's not to that extreme. Take this paragraph:

"Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it's because the child didn't work hard enough. That's why the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child. The Chinese parent believes that their child will be strong enough to take the shaming and to improve from it. (And when Chinese kids do excel, there is plenty of ego-inflating parental praise lavished in the privacy of the home.)"

Come on, admit it. You do that too.

As you can imagine, that article has unleashed a storm of polarizing responses. Some laud Amy's courage and tenacity while others have condemned her. One reader called her the "worst parent ever" and she has already gotten death threats. Admittedly, it's hard to take Amy's side as she appears slightly manic. She's not only the Tiger mum, she's the Tiger who mauls other tigers.

Since then, Amy Chua has come out to say that the title for the article was not from her, it was a publicity ploy by the publishers (brilliant, by the way. Her book is already No.4 on Amazon's best seller list). She claims that the excerpt took all the most controversial parts of the book and highlighted them, that the book was also meant to poke fun at the Chinese parenting stereotypes, and that she never meant to imply that one parenting style was superior to another. In fact, the book was a coming-of-age for her because she realised she had to change her approach when her own daughter rebelled against her draconian methods at age 13. In this follow-up piece in the Wall Street Journal where she answers some of readers' questions, she appears a lot more humane.

Then the New York Post published a heart-warming letter from Amy's daughter Sophia, now 18, to her mother, thanking her for raising her the way she did. She sounds like a wonderful individual - certainly not the neurotic, nervous social recluse you would expect. Typical of me, I had a moment of suspicion - hmm... maybe her mother made her write that letter. But to be honest, it seems pretty genuine.

I really haven't made up my mind entirely about Amy Chua. Is she a crazed control freak trying to cash in on book sales or the quintessential strict but loving Chinese mum? As for whether such methods work, for every well-adjusted, accomplished individual that has blossomed from heavy-handed parenting, there's one who's resentful, insecure and laden with baggage. Therein lies the complexity of humans - we're all different.

In general, I'm more Hobbes than Shere Khan. However, like most cats, I have a Jekyll/Hyde syndrome and occasionally, the Tiger in me awakens and goes a-roaring (strangely enough, usually near exam periods). I think there's a little bit of that Tiger mum in all of us, though I would never recommend taking it as far as Amy Chua. Nevertheless, her article has brought to the forefront one of the most valuable tenets (in my opinion) in Chinese parenting - we believe in the enormous potential of our children, often much more than our kids realise themselves. To be good at anything, you have to work at it and that's why we push them the way we do. Not because we want them to be someone they're not but because we know they are capable of accomplishing a lot. Oh and by the way, that's how we build self-esteem.

So here's my message to my kids: the next time I make you do yet another fiendishly challenging math problem sum or attempt that convoluted piano piece - that's how much I believe in you.

Book recommendations for kids who love Roald Dahl

Until recently, I didn't know much about Anthony Horowitz the writer, except that his Alex Rider series is very popular among teens and pre-teens. Lesley-Anne is one of the fans of the series.

However, I could never find any of his books in the library and from browsing at the bookshop, I felt that the Alex Rider series would be too advanced for Andre.

In the December holidays, Popular held a sale and I saw this 10-book set by Anthony Horowitz. After discount, it was less than $70 which seemed like a great deal (each book supposedly retails for £5.99. I googled some of the titles on the Internet and read many reviews of how these books are great for boys who are reluctant readers. The deal clincher was the fact that he was described as the contemporary equivalent of Roald Dahl. So I took a chance and bought it.

It turned out to be a good buy.

Like Roald Dahl, Anthony Horowitz grew up miserable in English boarding schools with cane-wielding headmasters. Also like Roald Dahl, he has a wicked sense of humour and utterly memorable characters (especially the villains!)

Andre has yet to read all the books but here are a few he has finished (and enjoyed).

Granny bears resemblance to Roald Dahl's George's Marvellous Medicine. Both grandmas are not of your sweet, nurturing variety but evil, kid-hating villains. Groosham Grange and the sequel Return to Groosham Grange tell of the adventures of David, a 12-year-old boy who is sent to a repressive boarding school for wizards full of dark magic and secrets (Harry Potter anyone?)

When asked, Andre told me he still prefers Roald Dahl, I suspect because Anthony Horowitz's humour is slightly more sophisticated. I would put the reading level of his books as one notch higher than Roald Dahl's. Nevertheless, I feel he's currently one of the more engaging writers for young readers. Worth checking out!