The ultimate stress test aka PSLE results

Three years ago when Lesley-Anne received her PSLE results, I had to think long and hard about whether I was going to post about it and if so, how I would write it.  You can read about it here.

With Andre, I'm facing the same situation and when writing such posts, I'm very conscious of the fact that I have to take into account the interests and feelings of my kids. Since they read my posts too, I have to decide if any sharing will impact them positively or negatively. It's a delicate balancing act.

When I checked with Andre, he told me he didn't want me to reveal his PSLE results publicly, so I'm respecting that.  I'm just going to share my reflections in general.

While Andre's results were not a big shocker, he had hoped to do better, especially considering the amount of work he put in.  I think there are many, many kids and parents out there facing the same situation and I'm hoping this post can give some perspective.  You see, when PSLE results fall short of expectations, I hear many parents start playing the blame game - "You should have studied harder!" "What did you do wrong?" etc etc.  But perhaps, just perhaps, it's simply a case of unrealistic expectations to begin with.

As I've always said, PSLE is harder than many parents think (especially those going through PSLE for the first child).  There is actually no way of gauging what your child's relative standard is based on school results as standards and the ability of students vary so drastically among schools.  Even with the knowledge that an average t-score is 200, it's very difficult to predict where your child stands in terms of the national average.  Added to that, the way the t-score is calculated can be very skewed, due to the distribution curves of the different subjects. A common conjecture is that a bad or good score in the Mother Tongue or English will impact the overall t-score more drastically than a bad or good score in Maths or Science.  This hypothesis seems to bear out from what I've seen. 

What I'm saying is that with all the uncertainty, the PSLE results is no time for recriminations.  It is not constructive and all you'll succeed in doing is undermine your child's self-esteem and give yourself a few ulcers.

The night before the PSLE results, Andre was a nervous wreck. Suddenly, he had lost his usual bravado and quavered, "What if I fail?" To which I reminded him how hard he had worked and said, "If this was the best you could have done, then no matter what the results, you should have no regrets."

It was a reminder to Kenneth and myself as well. Too often, we equate results with the quantum of effort (and revise our perception of the effort after the fact) but that's a flawed logic. In reality, the effort you put in sometimes does not yield an equivalent result.  That's life.  We have always told our kids that we celebrate the effort, not the result and we have to practise what we preach.

When Andre received his results, I saw the disappointment on his face.  However, in typical fashion, he soon started focusing on the plus points - "I can't believe I got an A for Chinese!" (Yes, he gave me permission to post this. Actually we couldn't quite believe this either).  He was also, quite unexpectedly, given the EAGLES award for Leadership in CCA. This went some way to cheering him up, especially when he learnt later that it comes with a $250 cash prize from MOE.

Some people may think we're rationalising or too unambitious. Personally, I'm glad Andre has a healthy self-esteem. It's difficult to go through life feeling insecure all the time. And at the risk of sounding like a broken record, the PSLE really is not the be all and end all. Secondary school is a whole new ballgame and the PSLE t-score is not necessarily an accurate indicator of how you will perform in school later on. There are kids in Lesley-Anne's school who had t-scores in the 270s range and are now struggling to keep up. Conversely, there are those who scored in the 250s and are now acing their exams.

I like how MOE has stopped revealing the top scorers for PSLE.  As the Minister has said, it won't remove the PSLE stress but it's yet another small step towards reducing the over-emphasis on academic achievement above everything else.

For us, we're glad PSLE is finally behind us. Secondary school will be a brand new chapter for Andre and we pray that it will be a fulfilling journey for him.