Grades are not everything - but don't just say it, mean it

American Idol is back and I don't know about you but I love watching all these ordinary people sing their way to stardom (yeah, David Cook!) In the early stage of each season, you have the mass auditions and I'm always fascinated by these deluded weirdos who seem to have crawled out of the woodwork by the thousands to have their shot at fame. What amazes me is that many of these people are not doing this as a joke, they actually believe they are the next Carrie Underwood. I mean, this is Season 8 and I assume they have watched past seasons, yet when Simon sends their dreams crashing down, they are truly shattered like they didn't even consider the possibility that they wouldn't make it to Hollywood.

And then comes the part the producers love: the now-raging, bitter contestant will scream obscenities at the judges, the camera, the show and say something like "The show is a joke! The judges are only interested in looks!" Didn't matter that the reject sounded like a frog with a sore throat.

This reminds me of the many parents I sometimes meet, who say things like "The Singapore system shouldn't just focus on paper qualifications" and "Grades are not everything". Which few will disagree with. And if the parent was someone whose child didn't do so well academically but was encouraged to be a budding artist or to shoot hoops or to build robots, then I'll whole-heartedly endorse that viewpoint.

But I find it difficult to empathise with parents who declare such statements not so much out of personal conviction but vested self-interest. While they slam the over-emphasis on academic pursuits, they ironically try to force the academic route down their kids' throats and every waking hour is spent on school, study and tuition. In the end, akin to the American Idol rejects, they're disgruntled only because their kids have not won the competition.

The danger is, at the end of the day, these parents can't really give an alternative as to what should be considered in place of grades because their kids have devoted so much their time to their studies that they have not developed any other skill or interest. So are these parents saying that schools or employers should take in their kids because... (well, no reason, they just should)? In place of some other child who may have had more success academically or in some other arena?

Here's my take: If you really believe that education should be all-rounded, then practise what you preach. Find ways to help your children identify their passions outside of their studies and help nurture these interests. It doesn't have to be a concrete skill like music or sports, it could even be something like leadership or community service (the desire to serve others is a GREAT gift). Obviously I'm not saying let your child fail exams, but create a healthy balance (our society is probably not as insular as you think, I believe there is room for everyone to make something of themselves). I'm very mindful of what Sir Ken Robinson said - the biggest tragedy that can happen is that in the process of education, our children's true talents are lost (I'm para-phrasing).

Grades are not everything. Of course they're not. But you should be prepared to offer something else in place of them.