Let someone else worry about DSA!

I had an epiphany last night.

Rather, it was at about 2.30am when I was in bed, unable to sleep. It started with comments on Lilian's blog about the Direct School Admission (DSA). For the umpteenth time, I'm realising how clueless I am about such things. I know that most GEP kids apply for DSA in p6 but I never knew that they had to take a General Ability Test even before they're called up for an interview, and that if they apply under the academic route, they should preferably have some special achievements in a particular area like maths or languages or science.

So upon reading the comments by a very in-tuned dad, I immediately started to worry about Lesley-Anne. Here's the background story: from what I've been told by the GEP teachers, most GEP kids are encouraged to go on to Integrated Programme (IP) schools at sec.1, the 6-year programme which skips 'O' levels and go straight to 'A' levels. These schools have their own school-based gifted education programme whose pedagogy is in line with what the kids have been learning under the GEP. However, there are only 7 IP schools and many of them are off-limits to Lesley-Anne. For instance, Nanyang Girls and Dunman High offer Chinese as first language and NUS High is catered for those extremely talented in maths and science. Many of the schools are boys' schools. Based on these limited choices, Lesley-Anne wants to get into RGS.

But here's the catch: last year, RGS has THE highest cut-off point in the WHOLE OF SINGAPORE. Phwaah!! We attended their open house this year and we learnt that their girls are basically the top 2% of each cohort. How's that for intimidating?

So I'd long told Lesley-Anne that if she really wanted to get into RGS, her best bet was through DSA. Then I found out about the DSA criteria mentioned above. Lesley-Anne is generally fine all around but she doesn't have any stand-out, knock-your-socks-off ability like some of those Math Olympiad geniuses or Sarah Chang-ese violin prodigies.

Which was what brought on the worrying last night. What if, what if. How, how. Then completely out of the blue, this message just whacked me at the side of my head: God will have a place for her. I can't really explain it but suddenly it became clear - if God thinks RGS is the best school for Lesley-Anne, He will clear the way for her. If He doesn't think she will thrive in that environment, He will create a place in another school for her. No amount of worrying or planning will change that.

Wah, really ah, God? I didn't really have to ask, I knew in my heart it was true. (I often have these strange conversations in my head with God - in Singlish no less. Like before any of the kids' exams, I sometimes pray, God, please, please, pleeeeeeease. Aiyah God, you know what I mean lah.)

Once that truth hit me, there was nothing left to worry about. I remembered how God had always led the way in terms of Lesley-Anne's education. Even before she entered p1, we chose the school she's at because 1) it is a Christian school, 2) it is relatively close to our home, 3) it is a co-ed school (so we wouldn't have to worry about Andre later). Since the school is more than 2km from our home, we had to volunteer to be able to register her at Phase 2B. For Phase 2B that year, there was no balloting (we were just two more applicants shy of balloting) so she got a place. When she was in p3 and went for the GEP test, we didn't think she would get in but I remembered distinctly asking God, "if you think GEP will be good for her, then give her a place." And what a blessing that turned out to be.

Don't think that I am a saint. Far from it. I squirm when I hear loud, zealous proclamations of faith, and overly pious people grate on my nerves. I don't pray as often as I should, I don't give thanks as much as I should, I miss church more than I should. But I know God is real, whether politically correct or not, and this keeps me straight. As you probably know by now, I'm an intellectual at heart - I overthink everything, I analyse things to death. The danger with intellectuals is that we do so much thinking that we sometimes start to think that we know better than God. So I constantly have to check myself and that's why my favourite verse from the bible is this lesser-known one:

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God. For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate." 1 Cor 1:18,19

I'm not advocating that we stop thinking altogether. Neither am I saying that since God will take care of everything, we can just slack off and do nothing. If you don't work at something, you can't expect God to call up a miracle and reward you. Not that He can't and not because I believe in that oft spouted phrase "God helps those who help themselves" (nowhere in the bible does it say that). It's more the fact that I believe as part of life's journey, God wants to develop the whole person - mind, body and spirit. Rewarding a lazy bum generally doesn't serve that purpose.

Ironically, after the epiphany, I still couldn't sleep because I started to think of how I would write this post! I'm so heartened by how some of you have commented that you found my blog useful. I'm not lost to the fact that there could be some divine intervention at work here as well - often when I start to write, I find that the thoughts flow very easily, as if someone is guiding them. When I read some of my back posts, I sometimes wonder how I came up with all those thoughts. Honest.

I couldn't figure out what label to give this post. I contemplated creating one called "God" but I baulk at giving God a label, so I'm just going to place it under "faith" and "parenting" for now. Can or not, God? Hmmm... I'll take that as a yes.