The Scrabble fiasco

Once every weekend, we have a family game of Scrabble. We started this tradition to inject a slightly more intellectual element in our family time (vs badminton and eating), but primarily to help Andre improve his vocabulary. (As you may have read, Andre's level of English isn't too hot.)

In our games, we don’t count the points, so that the focus would be on forming words, not on winning. (In a family where everyone hates to lose, this would be the surest way of killing the game!) The objective in our game is to finish all our letters, the only penalty being that the person who’s unable or last to finish his or her letters has to keep the game set.

When we first started the game, Andre just couldn’t catch on to the notion of forming words using his letters. He would say something like, “I want to put ‘GOAT’ but I don’t have the ‘G’ and the ‘T’.” After a while, slight progress – he just had to figure out how to form words using letters already on the board. He would say, “I can put ‘MAN’ but I don’t know where to put it.”

Now, at least he has grasped the fundamentals of the game, but our sessions are still often ala a Comedy of Errors. Our game last night was, as usual, off the wall, to say the least. I’m giving snippets of what happened and I swear I am not making any of it up. The picture of the final board is at the bottom as proof.

Sometime in the game:

Lesley-Anne puts ’GENE’.
Andre does silly Arabian Nights dance.
Lesley-Anne (exasperated): “It’s GENE, not GENIE lah, silly!”

Later on in the game:

Andre: “Is ‘DALT’ a word?”
Me: “No. Put what you know.”
Andre: “How about ‘YALT?’”
Kenneth and Me: “PUT WHAT YOU KNOW!”
Andre: “Ok, then ‘AT’.”
Me: “Aiyah, longer word can or not??”
Andre (whining): “I want to put ‘PRAY’ but the ‘A’ is there, then the word at the bottom will be ‘IYHEROIN’.”
Me: “For heaven’s sake!!”

Even further on in the game:

Lesley-Anne puts ‘KIN’.
Lesley-Anne (to Andre): “Do you know what’s KIN?”
Andre: “I know, like in KING KONG!”
Me (slaps forehead): !!!!!!!!!!!

Finally nearing the end:

Me (to Andre, trying to help speed up the game): “Let me give you a hint. You have a ‘U’ and ‘A’. You can use the ‘Q’ here to put ‘QUA_’?” (I peeked and saw that he had a ‘D’ and a ‘Y’).
Andre: “Mmm... 'QUAT'? Wait, I don’t have a ‘T’.”
Me: “No such word! What else?”
Andre: “QUACK?”
Me (glaring at Kenneth who has begun to laugh helplessly): “Using what you have!!”
Andre: “I don’t know! 'QUAY'? (pronounces ‘kueh’)”
Lesley-Anne (losing patience): “QUAY lah! Like “Collyer Quay” in the National Day song we sing!”
Andre: “Hah?”
Me: “JUST PUT IT DOWN.”

After an eternity, game ends.

Andre: “ALAMAK! How come I’m last again? Not fair.”