Homemade burgers

Our family, especially Andre, loves burgers. Some of our favourite haunts for burgers were Fat Boys, Two Blur Guys and New Zealand Bar and Grill.

That is, until I found this great recipe online for homemade burgers that's very simple but super delicious. Ever since we started making this, we've not gone to gourmet burger places. Much easier on the wallet!

Ingredients:

Makes five burgers

• 500g minced beef
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 tbsp tomato ketchup
• 1 egg yolk
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• salt and ground black pepper
• choice of herbs eg. paprika or parsley (optional) 

5 burger buns
5 large portobello mushrooms, stalks removed
5 slices of cheddar cheese

Directions:

1. Place all the burger ingredients in a mixing bowl and stir to combine. Shape into five equal-sized patties.

2. Preheat the grill. Cook burgers and mushrooms under the grill for 15 minutes or until patties are cooked through, turning once.

You can add whatever garnish you like to the burgers eg. onions, lettuce or tomatoes. We serve our burgers with home-made sweet potato wedges.

They're very moist and flavourful.

Andre eats two of these at a go!

Afternote: A friend pointed out an error in my original recipe which strangely included 4 large eggs as part of the recipe. Yikes! Sorry, my mistake! Apologies to all who tried it and must have ended up with a soggy mess. I've corrected the recipe.

On scholarships and the school of life

Now that Lesley-Anne is in her final JC year, it's time to think about university education. I sometimes get asked: will she be studying overseas?

The answer is simple: only if she can get a scholarship.

There are two reasons for this. The main one is obviously financial. Have you seen overseas university fees these days? They're astronomical and I'm not about to take a second mortgage on my home just to pay for a fancy qualification. (Incidentally, I'm also one of those who don't believe in moving house to be close to my kid's school, so what do I know.)

Secondly, unlike many people, I'm not convinced that an overseas education is necessary to do well in life. I often hear people tell me their overseas experience was invaluable. I don't doubt that. However, when I see the people around me, including my peers, I honestly don't see a difference among those who studied locally and those who studied overseas, whether in intelligence, world view or even career success. There are wide variants in both camps. Which leads me to conclude that it's really what you make of your education that's important, and an overseas education is a nice-to-have, not a necessity. Meaning, we'll pay for our kids' university education locally but if they want to go overseas, they'll have to make it happen themselves.

Inevitably, the next question when I mention scholarship is: but scholarship usually means bond! I'm sure everyone would have read about Eng Kai Er's case, which caused a ruckus late last year when she protested against her six-year scholarship bond with A*STAR, citing disinterest in her work. Like many others, I thought her attitude smacked of entitlement. No interest then don't take up the scholarship lah! In this case, she didn't just accept one but TWO. I can believe she wasn't sure what she wanted at age 18 but you can't convince me that four years later, after completing a undergraduate degree, she still didn't know science isn't her cup of tea to not apply for a second scholarship.

The thing is, her case is not unique, just that it made headlines. I've heard cases where scholarship holders want to change course, want to change job when serving their bond, want to break bond, etc, without facing the penalties. These stories bug me even more when the individuals are from well-heeled families who accept scholarships purely for the prestige and then expect the sponsoring company to bend over backwards for them.

Look, I'm not saying only poor families deserve scholarships. I'm saying, a scholarship is a privilege...for you, not the company. And as a scholarship holder, you should at least have the grace to acknowledge and accept this. If the company is going to invest tens of thousands of dollars into you, they would naturally expect returns. What, you thought it was a free ride?

But what if you're serving out your bond and like Eng Kai Er, you hate your job? I think underlying this mentality is the growing attitude that 1) being happy is your right 2) it's your company's responsibility to make you happy. The problem arises when kids have been brought up to believe that their happiness is their sole purpose in life and that the companies "owe" them somehow. I've read forums where even interns complain they're paid too little and are being "ripped off" for their work. Really? If even as an intern, you have such grandiose ideas about yourself, then your starting point is already wrong. That's not how the world works. If your mentality is as such, then don't take on a scholarship. Get a father-mother loan.

I'm probably starting to sound like an ogre now but no, I'm not actually advocating that people need to work in misery. The thing is, a fresh graduate is different from a seasoned employee. For the latter, I hope people try to look for jobs where they can find fulfilment. For most fresh graduates, I'll go out on a limb and say that no matter how much you think you know, no matter whether you've done work internships etc, there are probably lots of things in the corporate world that you haven't the faintest clue about. And the first job is there for you to learn (even if it's to learn what you DON'T like doing!) and garner some work experience. The company that hires you is taking more of a chance than you.  

I'm not saying, do something you know you're going to hate. If you dislike teaching, for heaven's sake, don't take on a teaching scholarship! If you hate figures and business, don't accept a bank scholarship no matter how prestigious. Common sense. But chances are, there are many jobs out there that you won't know whether you'll enjoy.

So if you treat your first job as a testbed and learning platform of sorts, then what's the problem with a bond? Hearing the way some people talk, you would think a bond is a lifetime of slavery. It's not. Three or four years is the NOT the rest of your life. Really. Take it from someone who's been working for more than 20 years. Even if it turns out not to be your ideal job, or you don't like your boss or your colleagues, taking a few years to learn stuff is not a waste of your time (unless there's verbal abuse or something). Make the most of it. Trust me, you will learn something.

I was a scholarship student. I was bonded for three years to a statutory board upon graduation from NUS. What did I know about the work they did before I signed on the dotted line? Next to nothing. But it sounded interesting enough and I was extremely grateful to them - for paying for my education and for giving me a job. I worked hard and I learned lots. Till today, I practise certain skills and remember nuggets of wisdom that I learned from my first job.

Quite a while back, Lesley-Anne had expressed possibility that she might want to work with me in my writing business in the future. I told her, whoever said I would hire you? I only take on experienced writers. Work a few years in the corporate world, show me what you can do, then we talk.

Ok, maybe I exaggerate a little (just a wee bit!) If she's really keen to join me, I'll consider it for sure. But what's certain is that I won't take her on until I know she can cut it, and that definitely means having attained some work experience. Basically the message I want to send to my kids is: don't expect any handouts when it comes to work. Even from your mother.

Work hard, learn something, then you can talk about rewards. Show your mettle and after that, you'll have the cards to ask for what you want. Not before.

What Danger Dan has taught us

Last year this time, our Danger Dan journey began when the first book was published. It was a momentous event for Lesley-Anne and me, to say the least.

Exactly a year later, the final book of the series is out! Danger Dan Creates the Ultimate Utama Uproar will hit bookstores probably from mid-January. Since this is the fifth book, the excitement on seeing the printed work wasn't as exhilarating as the first time. In fact, Lesley-Anne was more expectant about starting the new school year. (Sometimes, I feel like our roles are reversed - me the giddy, heady schoolgirl and she, the pragmatic, no-nonsense one.) Still, seeing the final book out felt quite surreal to me. Did we really have a book series published?

So much has happened over the past year...and Danger Dan was a big part of it. Book launches, speaking engagements, etc - and more than just being part of an exciting project, I believe they have been invaluable in developing Lesley-Anne's psyche and confidence. How so? Well, quite by accident, the Danger Dan experience has given her a glimpse of the "real" world and shown her that the education journey is just one part of life. There is a whole different set of experiences waiting to be had outside of school. So even though this is her 'A' level year, she's not single-mindedly obsessed about the exams, as some kids might be.

I need to qualify that as parents, we have always stressed this point - that exams and results aren't everything and she already knows it. But knowing something in a superficial way can sometimes seem like a platitude aimed at quelling a fear of the unknown. Nothing beats the knowledge that comes from having your own experience reinforce what you know in theory. That sort of understanding comes from deep in your gut and is usually accompanied by a very comforting sense of security.

I think that's what has happened. Because of Danger Dan, Lesley-Anne's self-assurance has been boosted and we're happy and grateful for that. She still works crazy hard, of course, but whatever the results of the 'A' levels, she knows they will not define her, and that goes a long way towards relieving some of the pressure and anxiety.

And in a special commemoration of sorts, Andre has featured Danger Dan in a Minecraft roller coaster he built. Andre has always insisted that he's not creative (a mistaken self-belief I've tried to dispel for a long time). Then he created this roller coaster that completely blew me away, especially since he only started playing Minecraft three months ago.



Pardon a mother's bias but I thought it was a brilliant visual treat (even though in real life, nobody would ride such a coaster - there are free falls!) So much thought and details went into it. He also chose and added the music for the video. I hope you will take five minutes to view the video and if possible, like or leave an encouraging comment here (on the Youtube page) so Andre will finally believe what a creative little guy he is :)

Forget me not

I love the start of a new school year. It's always so full of hope and symbolises fresh beginnings: Since my kid is one year older, surely he will be wiser, pay more attention in class and score better grades in exams! This is the year he will transform into an A student! I just know it.

Lesley-Anne once told me that our minds tend to play tricks on us by brushing our bad memories with a rose-coloured tint. It's a defence mechanism to help us cope and protect us from re-living emotional trauma. Which is all well and good but I also believe it makes us slightly deluded.

When Andre was in primary school, one of the things about him that used to drive me bananas was his seeming inability to listen, a close second only to his memory which had more holes than a gopher colony's network. For instance, in p4, there was a question he had answered incorrectly in his science paper: "Plants photosynthesise in the daytime and respire at night". I told him that plants respired all the time, not just at night. I then diligently went through the lesson with him to make sure he understood it.

The next term, barely three months later, he came home with another science paper and I saw to my chagrin that in response to a similar question, he'd again written: "Plants respire only at night."

Me *exasperated*: "I already told you! Plants respire in the day AND at night!"

Andre: "Hah? They do? You never told me that!"

Me *staring at him in disbelief*: "We went through the lesson! Weren't you listening??"

Andre gave me an indignant look as if to say I was dreaming the whole thing up. So we went through the lesson once again. "You understand it now? Plants don't just respire at night, they respire all the time." He nodded.

A year later in p5, you wouldn't believe it but he got exactly the same question wrong AGAIN. The sentence that had come to plague me in my nightmares: "Plants respire at night." OMG! I blew my top. "What's wrong with you? Are you trying to kill me??"

He looked at me blankly. "Hah? Plants don't respire at night?"

Sometimes I wonder if aliens abduct my son at night and replace him with a look-alike model.

Trying to teach Andre anything was always frustrating because even if I'd succeeded in getting him to understand something, I knew there was a good chance he would have no recollection of it later. Yet every start of the school year, I would have this inexplicable hope that he would miraculously grow a beautiful mind overnight.

Now that he's in secondary school, the situation has improved somewhat but he still has a problem with listening. Whenever he tells me the teacher didn't say this or the other, my instinctive scepticism always surfaces. "She didn't say it or you didn't hear it?" Which if you think about it, is kinda a pointless question because if he didn't hear it, he certainly wouldn't know if she had said it.

Then of course, there's the "hear half the instructions" syndrome. If I'm at a mall and tell Andre to "go to BreadTalk and tell Daddy I'll be there in 15 minutes", he would hear only "go to BreadTalk." Then he'll call me five minutes later and ask, "I'm at BreadTalk. Where are you?"

A couple of weeks ago, Lesley-Anne was complaining how tired she was.

Lesley-Anne: "I'm sleepy and grumpy."

Me *teasing*: "So those are the two dwarfs you identify with?"

Lesley-Anne: "Yup. And in the morning, Sneezy."

Me: "Which one are you, Andre?"

Andre: "Me? I'm Blur."

Lesley-Anne: "Blur?? That's not a dwarf!"

Andre: "Huh? What dwarf?"

Me: "Never mind. I think Blur is right."

But that was 2014. It's a New Year. Surely this year, Andre will make the transformation. I can feel it in my bones. 

A season of blessings

Did you have a good Christmas? We did!

The run-up to Christmas was a hectic one, especially for Lesley-Anne. However, in the spirit of Christmas, I've decided to focus my last post of 2014 on the many blessings God has showered us with.

1. A Time to Dance and a Time to Rest

Lesley-Anne embarked on a one-week trip to Taiwan with her dance CCA mates. It was a great experience as she attended loads of dance masterclasses conducted at professional studios. Ballet, jazz, hip hop, street, etc. However, it was also an exhausting trip. Apart from dancing all day, the kids had to walk as far as 1km to get to the dance studios and went out to street markets in the evenings. The fatigue plus the cold and wintery wind caused Lesley-Anne to return home with a fever and sore throat, and she wasn't the only one.

Nevertheless, it was an invaluable learning experience and I thought Lesley-Anne falling sick was actually a blessing in disguise as she was forced to rest at home for a whole week - something she badly needed to do before the craziness of the New Year begins all over again.

2. A Time to Create

We did the final edits for Danger Dan #5 just before Christmas. The schedule was so tight that I didn't have any time to feel nostalgic about editing the last book of the series. Actually, there will be another Danger Dan book but it won't be part of the storyline... hmm...that sounds complicated. Never mind, I'll explain another time!

Anyway, Danger Dan Creates the Ultimate Utama Uproar is both Lesley-Anne and my favourite book in the series, and we hope our readers will love it too! It's scheduled to be out on 16 January 2015. Will post updates.

What a juicy orange cover!

Incidentally, a wonderful reader sent me this photo of her niece who's a huge fan of Danger Dan. She visited the Epigram Books pop-up sale to get her copy of Danger Dan #4. How sweet is that?

3. A Time to Eat and be Merry

We're very fortunate that my mil, despite her years, is still in good health and spirits, and always makes an effort to observe traditions, such as making tang yuan for the Winter Solstice Festival.

And then, there's the annual Christmas eve party with the extended family - an event we all look forward to (admittedly, a large part because of the food. Such gluttons we are!) We're also incredibly fortunate to have a gem of a helper who is so dedicated and familiar with our ways that she's now able to prepare Christmas dinner almost single-handedly.

 Here's the matriarch with her grand-kids and great grand-kids.

4. A Time to Laugh and a Time to Love

I believe in laughter and humour. In our household, there's a lot of good-natured joshing which I feel goes a long way towards relieving the stresses of everyday life. Can't always be taking ourselves too seriously. Whenever one of us does or says something silly (which is frequent), my response is: "Wow, your brilliance astounds me." Or Lesley-Anne would say, "Come, let me slow-clap for you." All in good fun.

For Christmas, I don't know where she found the time but Lesley-Anne made us cushions as gifts. Creative and personalised - how not to smile at this?

Can you tell Andre loves his cushion?

As my kids grew into teenage-dom, one thing I'm always thankful for is how easily I can still talk to them. Having experienced Lesley-Anne's angsty years, I was bracing myself for Andre to turn into the Incredible Sulk but that never happened. He's still happy-go lucky, and generous with hugs and kisses (not in public, though!) I asked him: "How come you're never moody? Are you always going to be sweet like this or are the moods yet to happen?"

His reply: "Aiyah, won't lah. I'm always happy. Just enjoy life as it comes."

I'm also grateful for how Lesley-Anne and Andre have grown very close. When I tell people that the two of them get along really well despite their vast differences in personality, I suspect people either think I'm lying or that I'm the luckiest mum in the world.

And with that, 2014 comes to a close. Where did the time go? As we usher in 2015, I'm not going to  make New Year's resolutions to be better, faster, more patient, more diligent, yada yada, because I know the intent is always stronger than the resolve. Instead, I offer a different approach and leave you with this New Year quote by Neil Gaiman, one of Lesley-Anne's favourite authors:

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're doing something." - Neil Gaiman

May you embrace the many mistakes that you are about to make in 2015, and the wondrous discoveries and opportunities thereafter. Happy New Year!

NTUC Back to School Fair

Last Saturday marked the last talk of the year for Lesley-Anne at the NTUC Back to School Fair.

NTUC had invited her to speak at the Fair which was held at the National Library at Victoria Street. It's quite a big event with activities held over the entirely weekend and a massive book fair at the atrium by Closetful of Books.

It was a very wet Saturday but looking at the crowd, spirits were far from dampened. It was quite an honour for Lesley-Anne and I thought she did great. (Don't think it's mother's bias cos other people came up to me and told me the same thing, haha!) With each talk, she is growing more comfortable with public speaking and if there were any nerves, it didn't show at all. She engaged the crowd well which comprised both kids and parents.

After the half-hour talk was a meet-and-greet session where we signed Danger Dan books and met young (and young at heart) readers.

There are times when I wonder who is actually reading our books, since we don't do a lot of publicity and school talks, compared to some other local writers. Lesley-Anne is a lot more steady in this respect - these things don't bother her. During these moments of self-doubt, I notice that God often sends people my way to boost my confidence (how much assurance does this person need, He must think!) Yesterday, a sweet little girl came by with all four copies of Danger Dan to be signed and her mother told me she loves the books. Her favourite is Danger Dan #2.

Another mum once told me her sons love Danger Dan and Percy Jackson, and recently, Danger Dan seems to have taken the no. 1 spot. Wah! Such stories do encourage me so.

NTUC also arranged for us to be interviewed on camera. A teeny celebrity moment, heh.

No rest for the weary. Lesley-Anne will be off on her overseas school trip but for me, I'll be chilling the rest of the year. Have to get the mind zen before 2015 starts in earnest!

I'll be giving this blog a rest till after Christmas so to all my fantastic readers - have a very blessed yuletide with your loved ones and may the Christmas star shine brightly for you this season!

The French connection

Ho ho ho, the Christmas tree is up!

But even before the lights started twinkling, we'd already begun our year-end feasting. Be gone, thy dastardly diet!

It started with a delectable French dinner at our good friends, Isabelle and Joon's place. Isabelle's mum was in town and she'd whipped up some duck confit and gratin. As if that's not decadent enough, she'd also brought foie gras from Paris! Drool...

Our stomachs are indeed fortunate to be beneficiaries of such culinary goodness. When I was looking through my photos, I realised that they were all on the food. No photos of people!

Afternote: Kenneth did have a photo of the food AND the company! Adding it here:

We wanted to return the hospitality so we invited Isabelle and her family over for a popiah party. It was the first time they'd had home-made popiah (for Isabelle's mum, first time any sort of popiah.)

Photos of people at last! Not entirely a glutton at heart...

Passing the wrapping test...

...before showing the hubby how it's done.

Isabelle and I go back more than 10 years. We first met when we were working at SMU, before Andre was born. She's now the owner of the very successful Stand Up Paddling School Singapore which has been making waves (see what I did there?) in the local sports scene. It has been featured extensively in the media. Professional and totally focused on safety - that's what stands her school apart from the rest.

If you've never tried stand up paddling, you've got to! We can't go as often as we'd like to but when my kids love it whenever they get the chance. Paddling at the idyllic Tanjong Beach at Sentosa is a bonus - calm waters and a view to boot. When Lesley-Anne and I were away in Hong Kong in March this year, Andre had a treat of his own.

SUP School even has its own merchandise now. Striking a pose in the cool blue shirts!

I'm so very proud of ma très chère amie. (Not sure if that's the right expression but the sentiment is there ♥)

JC or poly? Andre decides

Last month during the time of the Focus on the Family debacle, we were at home discussing the thorny issue of relationship programmes when I suddenly recalled that Andre had attended one in school.

Me: "Do you know who conducted it?"

Andre: "Dunno."

Me: "What did they teach?"

Andre: "Dunno. I wasn't listening."

Me (exasperated): "Aiyoh! Why not?"

Andre: "No need lah! Everybody says relationships so complicated. Just don't get into a relationship lor! Problem solved."

That's Andre for you - always taking the path of least resistance.

Anyway, Andre enjoyed a very nice end to the school year. First, he received a medal - not for badminton but... archery! He had chosen archery for his school sabbatical programme and his team came in first.

The second surprise was his year-end results. For the first time in his secondary school journey, he scored all As and Bs (well, except for Chinese which he inevitably flunked). Not sure how that happened but we're not complaining! "Have you been holding out on me?" I asked.

Since this marks the end of sec 2 for Andre, he had to choose his subjects for sec 3. Almost all his classmates and friends were gunning for triple science or double science classes. Andre was one of the exceptions who opted for combined science.

Let me explain the rationale. Earlier this year when I had a heart-to-heart talk with Andre, we discussed his future. Based on what he told me he wanted to do, he had decided that he wanted to go to the polytechnic after sec 4 instead of a JC. He was even more adamant about this decision after he saw how Lesley-Anne was plagued by endless homework and exams in JC. "You can't make me go to a JC!" he told me.

Lol. Not that I had any intention of doing so anyway. Even though Kenneth and I have always told him to keep an open mind, based on his plans, his aptitude and his interests, our gut feel is that Andre is much more suited for a poly education than a JC one. We really don't believe that one is a better choice than the other. Unlike some parents who think that you should gun for a JC if you can make it, we honestly feel that a JC education isn't for everyone. It suits Lesley-Anne but it probably would be a complete mismatch for Andre. This is a very good website on the differences between a JC and poly education.

Knowing whether you want to go to a poly or JC impacts on your subject choices for sec 3. To get to a poly, you only need to count five subjects whereas for JC, you need six. So taking too many additional subjects would eat into your time, which the triple and double science combinations would (8 subjects each). For the combined science combination, Andre would only need to take 7 subjects, which is much more manageable. Furthermore, it's preferable to take pure science subjects only if you intend to take science at JC (combined science has reduced content and would put you at a disadvantage) or if you're passionate about science (which Andre is not). For the poly courses Andre is interested in, there is no pre-requisite for science subjects.

And that's why he's ditching the popular triple/double science route. Too often, I see kids and parents adopting the same kiasu attitude in secondary school the same way they do with the PSLE (and everything else). Get into the "best" school/course that your score can possibly get you! That's hardly a logical course of action. Understand what your child's interests and inclinations are, then choose the school and path that stand the best chance of getting him where he wants to go. It really is that simple. You can check out more details on JC and poly admission requirements here.

So that's the update on Andre. He has no homework these holidays, unlike his poor sister. I was disinclined to have him bumming around all holidays and at first, told him to find a holiday job. That turned out not to be a feasible plan as there are limited options for 14-year-olds plus he has badminton training on some days. Community service was next on the cards and he helped some underprivileged primary school kids with their homework at a cc. He was quite good at it too! The supervisor was surprised that Andre could get a usually hyper Indian boy to sit down and listen to him. Must be a meeting of wavelengths, heh.

Unfortunately the sessions have since stopped for the school hols. So now, he's spending his free time trying trying to keep healthy. He's been working on his core and flexibility. Hopefully, he will lose a little of that tummy before Christmas!

It takes a village

Most authors will tell you that they are nothing without the support of their readers and while this sounds like a politically correct statement, it's true. Especially in today's context where reading is on the decline, it really does take the support of a whole community to keep books and authors going.

On my blog, I sometimes encounter readers who express their appreciation for what I do. But every now and then, I come across gestures of support so generous that they leave a deep impression in my mind. This post is a thank-you for the wonderful people I've had the fortune to meet, personally and virtually.

First, there's a mum who tried very hard to get her son's school to invite Lesley-Anne and me to conduct a workshop. When that endeavour failed, instead of leaving it at that, she rallied a group of like-minded parents and engaged us for a private creative writing workshop.

Denise, our bookseller, generously offered her office space as a venue and on a Sunday afternoon, we spoke to some 31 kids from different schools, and got them writing!

Some of the parents even brought snacks!

Another very supportive mum is Jenn, who has been a long-time reader of my blog. She has read my books and interacted with me on many occasions. She even got her son AJ interested in Danger Dan who contributed a kid's review! She blogged about my books here.

Finally, we have Mrs Zahira, Head of GEP Humanities at St Hilda's Primary. She has been one of our most ardent supporters, and has invited us to give talks and conduct workshops at the school. Through her, the school has purchased numerous sets of Danger Dan for its partner school libraries and in her personal capacity, she has also ordered many copies of our books for her children, nephews and nieces.

Look at the number of books waiting to be signed! We've truly been very blessed by her heartfelt support.

And in the spirit of community, we want to acknowledge the brilliant team that makes Danger Dan happen. Behind our books is a group of dedicated people who work behind the scenes to bring Danger Dan to life and to bookstores. So recently when we were at Epigram Books for a Danger Dan #5 planning meeting, we interviewed the people and recorded some scenes to give our readers a glimpse of the work that goes on.

We were half expecting them to decline to be video-ed but instead, they all gamely participated and readily answered our questions, even the strange ones (the questions, not the people!) They're terrific sports and we feel very fortunate to be able to work with such fun people. We hope we've managed to capture their passion and quirks in this second Danger Dan video, created Lesley-Anne and me (well, mostly Lesley-Anne). Enjoy!



Afternote: If you haven't ordered the books yet, a gentle reminder - 20% discount on online orders of The Good, the Bad and the PSLE, as well as all Danger Dan books ends 19 November 2014 midnight! Details here.