JC or poly? Andre decides

Last month during the time of the Focus on the Family debacle, we were at home discussing the thorny issue of relationship programmes when I suddenly recalled that Andre had attended one in school.

Me: "Do you know who conducted it?"

Andre: "Dunno."

Me: "What did they teach?"

Andre: "Dunno. I wasn't listening."

Me (exasperated): "Aiyoh! Why not?"

Andre: "No need lah! Everybody says relationships so complicated. Just don't get into a relationship lor! Problem solved."

That's Andre for you - always taking the path of least resistance.

Anyway, Andre enjoyed a very nice end to the school year. First, he received a medal - not for badminton but... archery! He had chosen archery for his school sabbatical programme and his team came in first.

The second surprise was his year-end results. For the first time in his secondary school journey, he scored all As and Bs (well, except for Chinese which he inevitably flunked). Not sure how that happened but we're not complaining! "Have you been holding out on me?" I asked.

Since this marks the end of sec 2 for Andre, he had to choose his subjects for sec 3. Almost all his classmates and friends were gunning for triple science or double science classes. Andre was one of the exceptions who opted for combined science.

Let me explain the rationale. Earlier this year when I had a heart-to-heart talk with Andre, we discussed his future. Based on what he told me he wanted to do, he had decided that he wanted to go to the polytechnic after sec 4 instead of a JC. He was even more adamant about this decision after he saw how Lesley-Anne was plagued by endless homework and exams in JC. "You can't make me go to a JC!" he told me.

Lol. Not that I had any intention of doing so anyway. Even though Kenneth and I have always told him to keep an open mind, based on his plans, his aptitude and his interests, our gut feel is that Andre is much more suited for a poly education than a JC one. We really don't believe that one is a better choice than the other. Unlike some parents who think that you should gun for a JC if you can make it, we honestly feel that a JC education isn't for everyone. It suits Lesley-Anne but it probably would be a complete mismatch for Andre. This is a very good website on the differences between a JC and poly education.

Knowing whether you want to go to a poly or JC impacts on your subject choices for sec 3. To get to a poly, you only need to count five subjects whereas for JC, you need six. So taking too many additional subjects would eat into your time, which the triple and double science combinations would (8 subjects each). For the combined science combination, Andre would only need to take 7 subjects, which is much more manageable. Furthermore, it's preferable to take pure science subjects only if you intend to take science at JC (combined science has reduced content and would put you at a disadvantage) or if you're passionate about science (which Andre is not). For the poly courses Andre is interested in, there is no pre-requisite for science subjects.

And that's why he's ditching the popular triple/double science route. Too often, I see kids and parents adopting the same kiasu attitude in secondary school the same way they do with the PSLE (and everything else). Get into the "best" school/course that your score can possibly get you! That's hardly a logical course of action. Understand what your child's interests and inclinations are, then choose the school and path that stand the best chance of getting him where he wants to go. It really is that simple. You can check out more details on JC and poly admission requirements here.

So that's the update on Andre. He has no homework these holidays, unlike his poor sister. I was disinclined to have him bumming around all holidays and at first, told him to find a holiday job. That turned out not to be a feasible plan as there are limited options for 14-year-olds plus he has badminton training on some days. Community service was next on the cards and he helped some underprivileged primary school kids with their homework at a cc. He was quite good at it too! The supervisor was surprised that Andre could get a usually hyper Indian boy to sit down and listen to him. Must be a meeting of wavelengths, heh.

Unfortunately the sessions have since stopped for the school hols. So now, he's spending his free time trying trying to keep healthy. He's been working on his core and flexibility. Hopefully, he will lose a little of that tummy before Christmas!

It takes a village

Most authors will tell you that they are nothing without the support of their readers and while this sounds like a politically correct statement, it's true. Especially in today's context where reading is on the decline, it really does take the support of a whole community to keep books and authors going.

On my blog, I sometimes encounter readers who express their appreciation for what I do. But every now and then, I come across gestures of support so generous that they leave a deep impression in my mind. This post is a thank-you for the wonderful people I've had the fortune to meet, personally and virtually.

First, there's a mum who tried very hard to get her son's school to invite Lesley-Anne and me to conduct a workshop. When that endeavour failed, instead of leaving it at that, she rallied a group of like-minded parents and engaged us for a private creative writing workshop.

Denise, our bookseller, generously offered her office space as a venue and on a Sunday afternoon, we spoke to some 31 kids from different schools, and got them writing!

Some of the parents even brought snacks!

Another very supportive mum is Jenn, who has been a long-time reader of my blog. She has read my books and interacted with me on many occasions. She even got her son AJ interested in Danger Dan who contributed a kid's review! She blogged about my books here.

Finally, we have Mrs Zahira, Head of GEP Humanities at St Hilda's Primary. She has been one of our most ardent supporters, and has invited us to give talks and conduct workshops at the school. Through her, the school has purchased numerous sets of Danger Dan for its partner school libraries and in her personal capacity, she has also ordered many copies of our books for her children, nephews and nieces.

Look at the number of books waiting to be signed! We've truly been very blessed by her heartfelt support.

And in the spirit of community, we want to acknowledge the brilliant team that makes Danger Dan happen. Behind our books is a group of dedicated people who work behind the scenes to bring Danger Dan to life and to bookstores. So recently when we were at Epigram Books for a Danger Dan #5 planning meeting, we interviewed the people and recorded some scenes to give our readers a glimpse of the work that goes on.

We were half expecting them to decline to be video-ed but instead, they all gamely participated and readily answered our questions, even the strange ones (the questions, not the people!) They're terrific sports and we feel very fortunate to be able to work with such fun people. We hope we've managed to capture their passion and quirks in this second Danger Dan video, created Lesley-Anne and me (well, mostly Lesley-Anne). Enjoy!



Afternote: If you haven't ordered the books yet, a gentle reminder - 20% discount on online orders of The Good, the Bad and the PSLE, as well as all Danger Dan books ends 19 November 2014 midnight! Details here.

The year in review for Lesley-Anne

2014 has been a whirlwind year for Lesley-Anne. As a JC student, school ends at 4pm on most days and during CCA days, she comes home after 9pm. Then there are assignments to complete and endless exams and tests to study for. She also began her journey as a published author, launching four books. Although all the writing had been completed last year, she still had to attend meetings and was involved in the editing stages of the books. She also conducted talks and workshops, as well as participate in book launches and other official events. Overall, it has been exhausting.

As I'd mentioned in an interview to another blogger, I always joke that Lesley-Anne is a full-time student with a full-time job (actually, that’s not a joke!) When we went to the Hong Kong International Young Readers Festival, she missed two days of school and came back to find a whopping stack of homework waiting for her.

People have asked me how she does it and I tell them it's tough. Lesley-Anne knows that she can’t afford to have any pockets of time wasted. She does her homework during free periods in school, reads in the MRT and catches up on sleep in the bus. As parents, we help by providing logistics and administrative support. For instance, Kenneth drives her to school talks when possible and I coordinate media interviews and school talks, which I try to arrange during her free periods or non-core lessons like PE.

I'm especially proud of the way Lesley-Anne has handled school talks. She's not a naturally outspoken person and approached such talks with much trepidation at first. However, she understands that it's part of her role as a published author and took it in her stride. Today, she is able to engage and related to the kids much better than I can. Nevertheless, it's still very tiring and energy sapping. Often, after a talk and a school day, she comes home and naps on the sofa for hours. As you can imagine, she doesn’t get much leisure time. If she does, it often goes towards sleep! In other words, being a teen writer may sound glamorous but it’s a lot of hard work.

The school holidays started last week but we've been laughing at the thought of any "holiday". The teachers have piled on the homework like there's no tomorrow. Eight pieces of work for Literature! Another eight for GP! Repeat for all subjects. And when school reopens in January, the students are welcomed back with...exams. My friend Lilian commented: no wonder the school does well in the 'A' level exams. The kids practically teach themselves! Do schools really not understand the concept of a holiday?

On top of that, Lesley-Anne has intensive CCA sessions throughout the holidays, sometimes all day, which baffles me. How on earth do you dance from 10am to 6pm? "Won't your legs drop off?" I ask her. Apparently not because there's also an upcoming CCA overseas trip and camp.

And as if all that is not hectic enough, she will have to make time during these holidays to write another book with me. That's right! Another book! We're still sorting out the details so can't reveal much at this point but if all goes according to plan, there will be an addition to the Danger Dan series.

So it's all very exciting but challenging for Lesley-Anne. Epigram Books has been incredibly supportive and never loses sight of the fact that she is still afterall, a teen. The marketing manager once asked me whether 10 years from now, Lesley-Anne will look back and resent the fact she didn't have much of a youth, that it was spent working. That prompted me to have a long chat with Lesley-Anne.

Her reply: Even though she's busier than ever now, she feels fulfilled, unlike in secondary school where she didn't have much time either but felt that her life was empty. It's a whole cosmos of reasons: She's studying subjects that she enjoys, she's passionate about her dance CCA and Danger Dan makes her feel like she has accomplished something special, giving her added meaning to her life. She loves JC so much that she's sorry to see the year come to an end.

From the beginning of the year, I've been concerned as to whether Lesley-Anne has too much on her plate and whether she would be able to juggle everything. (I'm a mum, ok? Worrying is in my DNA!) I mean, the school is very supportive but I don't think it would very sympathetic if Lesley-Anne flunked her exams. It was therefore very comforting to me when she did well in school. In fact, for Literature, she was ranked second overall in her level (although she did say that the boy who was ranked first was in a league of his own!) She loves the subject and her Literature teachers have been extremely supportive of her, which we're very grateful for. She has qualified for H3 (equivalent to the 'S' paper in our time) in both Literature and Geography but will be opting to do Literature.

So it's all good and I really thank God for His countless blessings on Lesley-Anne as well as for her work ethic. 2015 will be another crazy year, if not crazier, with the 'A' levels in view. Besides school, the book circuit looks to be busy as well, with some creative writing workshops already being planned by the NAC. It's overwhelming just thinking about it, so we're praying for peace and guidance and taking it one step at a time.

A gift of a book - Christmas sale!

A Christmas sale on 3 November? In my defence, I did see Raffles City erect a frame for a giant Christmas tree yesterday so I'm not the only one thinking way ahead!

Some people have said to me that autographed books make some of the best presents. So as the Christmas season looms, I thought it would be nice to offer my readers an opportunity to buy my books as a festive gift. I've worked out an arrangement with Closetful of Books, who has agreed to hold a very special Christmas sale exclusively for Of Kids and Education blog readers - 20% discount on all online orders for my books, up to Wed, 19 November! How cool is that? I will autographed all books and address them to whomever you wish (for Danger Dan books, Lesley-Anne will sign them as well).   

These are the books:

The Good, the Bad and the PSLE: Trials of an Almost Kiasu Mother 

Great for parents of school-going kids. I've also been told that students themselves love reading about the hapless exploits of the mum and her kids!

You can read a blurb and sample here. Check out online reviews here.



The Danger Dan series. There are currently four Danger Dan books released. Perfect for kids aged 8-12. You may click on the links below to read a blurb and sample.

#1 Danger Dan Confronts the Merlion Mastermind
#2 Danger Dan Tackles the Majulah Mayhem
#3 Danger Dan Spooks the Peculiar Peranakan Pirate
#4 Danger Dan Traces the Perilous Poison

Special Danger Dan goodies:

All Danger Dan purchases come with a Danger Dan sticker. If you buy two or more books in the series (can be multiple copies of the same issue), you'll get a special Danger Dan badge. If you buy three or more Danger Dan books, you'll even get a notebook (ie you will get the sticker, badge and notebook)!

To enjoy the special discount, go to the Closetful of Books online order form here and when you place your order, enter the coupon code: HEDGEHOGSRULE. (Haha!) A 20% discount will be applied on all my books. If you would like me to address the books to a particular person, just fill out the "Is there anything about your order that we must note?" field before you check out.

Discount coupon expires 19 November 2014 midnight.  All books will be mailed out after this date by 30 November. This way, you're guaranteed to receive the books by Christmas. There's no better gift than the gift of a book!

Meanwhile, Lesley-Anne and I had a fun time at the National Museum yesterday, as part of the Singapore Writers Festival 2014, where we launched Danger Dan #4 together with three other children's books. Enough words for now - here are the pictures!

Meet-the-authors session at National Museum

This coming Sunday, Lesley-Anne and I will be at the National Museum of Singapore for the launch of Danger Dan Traces the Perilous Poison (book 4)! This is a Singapore Writers Festival event and three other children's books by Epigram Books will also be launched then.

If you don't have anything on, bring your kids down - we'd love to meet them! We're not sure if James Tan, our illustrator, will be able to make it but if he does, he usually draws something on the spot, which is uber fun! And of course, we'll sign all copies of Danger Dan, which will be sold at the event.

Meanwhile, Gathering Books, a blog and website dedicated to books has published an in-depth interview of us for their October theme which is science fiction and time travel. If you would like to know more about the thought process behind Danger Dan and how we gather ideas, check out the link!

Gathering Books is nothing if not thorough and they've also conducted a fabulous interview with James. Check out how the Danger Dan look evolved (we'd completely forgotten about this until we saw the sketches again). I think you would agree with us that the current Danny and Melody look much better now!

If you would like to meet us in person, do come down on Sunday. See you there!

Tribute to an exceptional individual - Mrs Noella Dana

Last weekend, nine ex-students of my late piano teacher Mrs Dana got together and we had a wonderful catchup. This was a strange reunion of sorts because some of us didn't actually know each other. We were just bonded by the connection with one incredible human being who really demonstrated how much impact a teacher could have.

It's hard to explain how Mrs Dana's music studio worked because it was really one of a kind. When you went for a piano lesson, you didn't just sit with a teacher for an hour and then went on your way. A lesson at Mrs Dana's was like a visit to a music community. She had three pianos and usually at least two "helper" teachers. At any one time, a student could be going through their scales with one teacher while another was practising theory cards (which Mrs Dana made herself) and yet another would be in her studio being taught their exam pieces.

Even though we had a given lesson time, we often spent hours there. It was a laissez faire approach but there was a method in the madness. When we were not at the piano with Mrs Dana or another teacher, we hung out with the other kids or did our school homework. It was more like an after school care than a music studio, really. Mrs Dana ruled with a kind but firm hand and if you didn't know your work, she would insist you come back for an extra lesson. If you didn't practise, she would march down to your parents in the car or call them to let them know. She had more than her fair share of difficult kids, I suspect because some despairing parents hoped she would straighten them out! She had a knack with naughty kids and believed that music could solve most problems.

If Mrs Dana felt that you were musical, she would tirelessly hound you until you lived up to your talent. Her fees were below market rate and she used to grumble that some didn't pay their fees for months, yet she never turned anyone away. Many students expressed shock at how later on, when they took music lessons elsewhere, they realised that other teachers charged strictly by the hour, four lessons a month, didn't make up lessons you missed and didn't really care if you practised or learned anything. We were all spoilt by Mrs Dana. 

When we were older, many of us ex-students were invited to be the helper teachers at her studio. Teaching at Mrs Dana's was my first paid holiday job. Her home at La Salle Street was open to students from morning to evening and it was well known in the eastern part of Singapore. We heard anecdotes of how when given the address, taxi drivers would ask, "oh, the piano teacher's house?" Through these black gates, hundreds passed through to get their dose of music and more. The swing in the garden was a favourite. I managed to take photos of the exterior in 2010 before it was torn down and rebuilt by the new owners.

Mrs Dana's teaching methods were truly innovative. For example, she made up her own lyrics to exam pieces to help kids remember the melody. She held Sunday aural classes so we could listen to and learn from other students in the same grade. At our meetup, we all shared how she instilled the love of music in us. Some mentioned that till today, they remember their music intervals clearly thanks to her methods. A couple of them have chosen music as a career and still practise her methods today.

But even more than her extraordinary love of teaching and gift of music, what made her a remarkable individual was her exceeding generosity, which she blessed families with. At the gathering, an ex-student shared how growing up as the daughter of a church's caretaker, her family sometimes found it difficult to make ends meet. She first met Mrs Dana who did the flower arrangements for the church. Mrs Dana took her under her wing and gave her piano lessons at no charge. Later, she offered her a job as a teacher at the studio and even gave her a piano. This ex-student is doing well today and she has kept the piano all these years, even though some of the keys are stuck and can't be played properly.

I really don't know how Mrs Dana found the time but between running a music studio and raising a family of her own (she was the sole breadwinner since her husband was ill), she also reached out to the community. She once mentioned to me that she was helping underprivileged kids from Geylang Methodist Primary School learn how to read. As an ex-kindergarten teacher and principal, she had a big heart for kids.

On a personal note, Mrs Dana was a very special friend to me. She was my mentor and confidante, always warm and caring. I remember her sense of humour and her bubbly laugh. She had a skin pigmentation disorder and used to joke, "I'm like Michael Jackson!" As an adolescent and later as an adult, I could confide in her the way I couldn't with my own mother. She was a second mother to me and was part of almost all my significant life events. When I did well in piano exams, she bought me music books. After learning at her studio for almost a decade, I taught there during my university school holidays. This is a rare photo I took with her and my sister at her studio.

She was the one who brought my sister and I to the church we currently attend. She took us to SSO concerts to expand our minds. She was very pleased when I later joined the SSO as its marketing manager. My box office staff knew her very well as she was a regular concert-goer and always booked the same seat in the stalls of the Victoria Concert Hall (I believe it was an aisle seat in row R). She also played the organ at my wedding.

When I had my kids, Mrs Dana embroidered flowers on baby shirts for them and bought them books and toys. I love this photo of Mrs Dana carrying Lesley-Anne. Lesley-Anne learned with her only about a year before Mrs Dana got ill but even then, she said some of Mrs Dana's methods really stuck with her.

Mrs Dana suddenly fell ill in 2005 and even then, refused to seek treatment as it was the period of piano exams. When she finally agreed to be hospitalised, a bunch of ex-teachers mobilised themselves to help out at the studio and they were overwhelmed by the sheer number of students. Even with a team, it was exhausting. Nobody knew how this feisty 76-year-old managed it.

Even in hospital, Mrs Dana's thoughts were with her students. "Tell so-and-so to practise! She doesn't practise enough," one teacher recalled her saying. When she passed on, her daughter found boxes and boxes of cards and gifts that her students had given her. Mrs Dana had kept everything.

It was by chance that a group of her ex-students met in church a few weeks ago and came up with the idea of having a gathering. Nine of us met up but through this, so many more have since been contacted - a network spanning a wide range of ages and backgrounds. Many of her ex-students are pillars of society today - doctors, lawyers, etc but they recall being that naughty kid being chased down by Mrs Dana to practise scales. I've also since learned that many of her ex-students are now musicians or music teachers. All remember fondly the time they spent at La Salle Street.

As we chatted over dinner and shared our stories of Mrs Dana, I was blown away by how this one woman could have touched hundreds of lives from three generations. It's been almost ten years since she passed away and yet our memories of her remain vivid - that's how deep an impression she made on us.

Many people speak of love but rare is the one who personifies it. How blessed we are to have known her.

Rounding up school talks for 2014

This is a post to record the school talks and workshops we've conducted over the past few months. It has been challenging at times for Lesley-Anne - juggling lessons, homework and exams while making time to conduct these talks. Needless to say, I'm terribly proud of her for maintaining a cool head (for the most part) and not freaking out under the pressure!

Lesley-Anne was invited to speak to a group of p5 students from different schools at the MOE Creative Arts Programme. The audience consisted of about 50 kids, mostly from GEP, who were interested in writing. This session was great because the kids were very energetic and interactive. During the panel session, a bunch of boys were making quite a fair bit of noise and a girl piped up "I don't like irritating boys" to which a boy instantly retorted, "the action or the noun?" Heh. A little smart alecky but very fun bunch.

It was clear that Lesley-Anne connected very well with this group because after the talk, many of the kids came up to chat with Lesley-Anne and get her autograph. Some even showed her their stories and poems, and we were wowed by the level of creativity. One boy had written a series of alternative fairy tales in rhyme while another had penned reams and reams of stories. It's wonderful to meet kids who love writing so much. A special shout-out to Natalie, who told me she and her mum read my blog and showed me a lovely story she wrote about Erik the Hedgehog.

We also spoke at SJI International, our very first international school visit! We find international school kids bright-eyed and eager but at the same time, they're very well-mannered. They listen attentively and ask questions only at the end. A girl told us at the end of the session, "You know we're discussing superheroes, right? Well, you're our hero." Wah! *melts*

 
And finally, Lesley-Anne was invited to be an exhibitor and guest speaker at the Nanyang Girls' Expo in August. Here she is with Denise, our book agent.

Lesley-Anne was one of the invited speakers of the day. Quite an honour to be listed among such illustrious folks!

Let's talk gender stereotypes

So by now, most of you would have read about the saga where 17-year-old student Agatha Tan's open letter to her Principal which lambasted Focus on the Family (FotF) for their relationship programme. To me, this is an open-and-shut case and MOE has rightly shut down the programme.

In a truly strange coincidence, Lesley-Anne attended the very same session as Agatha. (I know, right? What are the odds??) So I thought for those who might be curious as to whether there was more behind the scenes from someone who was actually there, I'd blog about it.

Lesley-Anne missed the first half of the session because she was out conducting a Danger Dan school talk at that time and joined in only in the second half. By then, she said the lecture theatre was already all abuzz and her friends told her there had been a heated debate. It sounded like the facilitators were unused to being challenged because Lesley-Anne said they were defensive and tried to deny responsibility of the materials. For example, when the facilitator presented a rather controversial analogy, he threw his hands in the air and qualified himself by saying, "This is not my research. If you want to complain, complain to the author!" Okaaaaay. 

When Lesley-Anne came home that day, even before the saga of Agatha's letter, she told me that the session was a waste of time. Possibly, the programme was intended to be light-hearted but the way it was delivered, issues were inappropriately trivialised. She felt that as an educational session, it should have been more substantial. Instead, the materials were shallow and similar to jokes and satirical pieces easily found on the Internet.

For instance, the facilitator asked a boy something along the lines of: "Would you rather: a) Be unloved and alone or b) Disrespected." The boy answered a) and clarified that he took "unloved" to mean only romantically. But the facilitator immediately jumped to the conclusion that this was evidence of guys' immense need for respect and hence, in a relationship, girls have to give guys respect. Wow, sweeping conjectures much? Incidentally, Lesley-Anne said she would have made the same choice. Does that make her a guy?

Guys were also portrayed as deprived, sex-driven creatures. For example, the students were shown a picture of a guy's compartmentalised brain where SEX was predominant. This idea that guys cared only about sex was repeatedly highlighted. (The male facilitator even waved his arms in the air and declared, "If you give us sex, we're very happy!") Not sure what his point was. Girls have to offer sex to make a relationship work?

Furthermore, most of the research and statistics used to substantiate the material were from the US. Lesley-Anne felt that the facilitators failed to contextualise the info and show how they were relevant to Singapore. For example, they stated that in the US, couples who cohabitate before marriage are 50% more likely to get a divorce and leapt to the conclusion: If you want your marriage to work, don't cohabitate! Even if you discount the flawed logic, please lah. In Singapore, how many dating couples live together? Housing is expensive here!

FotF has claimed this is not a sex education course but a relationship workshop. This is factually correct because what many people don't realise is that FotF is appointed by MSF, not MOE (even though I understand that it's an MOE-approved course. Not sure how that works). But I don't understand how the fact that it's a relationship workshop, not a sex education course, makes the content any less objectionable.

HCI has said that parents could have opted their children out of the programme if they wanted to. Come on! You know these consent forms - "there will be a session, blah blah, sign if you consent to let your child attend it". At most, they give the name of the organiser and a short paragraph of the objective of the programme (which probably said it was to help students de-mystify relationships).

The thing is, I don't know for sure because I don't remember the form at all! Not to shirk my responsibility as a parent but are we saying that any activity or excursion my child goes to, I have to scrutinise the organiser, look up the background, and try to guess whether they have values that go against mine or will present any objectionable material? This was supposed to be a simple post-exam activity in school for JC students and I didn't give it a second thought. I think it's reasonable to expect that any activity endorsed by the school will not promote information that is harmful or false.
 
Some people are angry that a Christian-based group was allowed to administer this programme. I'm less bothered by this because from what Lesley-Anne tells me, religion was never mentioned. I feel that all those who are opposing or supporting Agatha's view based on this are missing the point. It's not about religion and so-called "conservative" views are not limited to any religious group.

To me, why the programme is harmful is because it promotes gender stereotyping which conveniently pigeon-holes people into neat compartments. To those who say things like "but it's true most women are fickle!" "Or are ditzy!" etc etc, I say, that's precisely how stereotyping works - take anecdotes or instances where things happen a certain way and generalise it across large groups of people indiscriminately.

Stereotyping is harmful because it makes judgement on people based on their gender, race, age etc even before one knows them. It also puts pressure on conformity and anyone who doesn't fall within those neat boxes can feel like an outcast. By the way, I can take a joke as well as the next person. The point is this was an official programme, not a woman's magazine or frivolous website.

Stereotyping is a lazy way of seeing the world because it's simple. In other words, it's UNcomplicated. Unfortunately, people as a whole are complicated because we're so diverse. Relationships are complicated. And attempting to tell JC students it's not so by dumbing down materials and reducing people to caricatures is downright insulting and indefensible. I understand that the facilitators repeatedly said these were "generalisations". Incidentally, claiming that stereotypes are mere generalisations can be even more damaging because when someone doesn't fall neatly within a category, you can simply dismiss him or her as an "exception", thus justifying your beliefs.

There are already far too many confused teenagers out there. The last thing we need is for an official programme to perpetuate gender stereotypes and confuse them further.

I've since heard accounts of people attending FotF sessions in different JCs way back from 2007 both as students and teachers, and most agree that it was bad. It's appalling that this has been going on for years and NOBODY spoke up all this time. It made me even more proud of Agatha.

To all those who would diss her letter because they disagreed with something she said or because of her youth, I would like to remind them that here is a 17-year-old who is not just intelligent and clear-minded but who has the conviction and courage to speak up for what she believes in, in a more articulate manner than many twice her age.  Good on her.
 

Happy birthday, Andre!

We celebrated Andre's birthday last week. Since his birthday falls right smack in the middle of his exams (which is always a bummer!), we kept it simple. The weekend before, we went for dinner at Muddy Murphy's because we know how much Andre enjoys pub food.

This was our first time there and it was really a pleasant surprise. The food is truly excellent and extremely reasonably priced. GST is included in the price and no service charge! Very rare for an establishment in the heart of town. The interior looks a little run down but for the food, we can overlook that.

Andre had the pork knuckle:

I had the tenderloin steak:

Kenneth and Lesley-Anne had the quintessential pub special - Sunday roast with Yorkshire pudding and mash. Both agreed that it was better than the one we had at a London pub!

For dessert, warm chocolate pudding with ice cream. Also very good.

On his actual birthday itself, we bought him a birthday cake from Chocolate Origins. If you ever crave a chocolate cake that tastes like you're eating pure chocolate, this is it!

I just had to mention that Lesley-Anne's gift to Andre was a simple care pack with all his favourite goodies. But trust her to put a creative spin on something straightforward. A rainbow care pack!

And with that, my (not-so-little) boy is now 14. Time flies!