Throwback to the 1960s - Sheryl Crow

I'm still trying to keep up with my one-post-a-day target but some days, I just hit a blank (I suspect I'm gonna break the streak soon, finally I'm getting busy with work again! Yay!) On days like these, you either get fluff or something I dredged up from my writing store somewhere. This is one of those days.

Since my last music post brought all the closet '60s and '70s singers fans out of the woodwork, I thought I'd write another music post. Someone more contemporary this time - Sheryl Crow. I love Ms Crow because her voice has that unique wistful quality that projects her inner strength. She writes her own music and often, the instrumentation in her songs is so reminiscent of the Flower Power days of the 1960s. That's why I thought the parents here might enjoy her albums, if you haven't already discovered them.

Her latest two albums are very reflective and soulful. "Wildflower" I absolutely love because it so fits in with my melancholy streak, but don't listen to this if you're feeling blue because it will likely make you utterly miserable! I really feel she was robbed of her "Best Pop Vocal Album" Grammy in 2006 for this album (which went to Kelly Clarkson! What a miscarriage of justice!) Sheryl Crow's lastest offering is "Detours", which I feel is not on the same level of brilliance as "Wildflower" but still well worth listening to. Anyway, this is a review I wrote on "Detours" for a youth organisation that I volunteer with (that's why it's addressed to youths).

Detours – Sheryl Crow

In recent years, Sheryl Crow has blossomed into a serious artiste, moving into more thought-provoking and artsy songs. This is very different from her early albums which were full of sunshine-y and bubblegum pop like “All I Wanna Do” and “Soak Up The Sun”. Her previous album “Wildflower” (another terrific production) showed a more soulful side of Sheryl Crow and her latest album “Detours” continues this vein of heartfelt self-expression.

Sheryl has never kept secret her strong views on issues such as politics, the environment and relationships. In Detours, all these come across with conviction and sincerity. “God Bless This Mess” talks about the trauma faced by soldiers who return from Iraq while “Gasoline” hazards a guess at the uncertain future. “Peace Be Upon Us” is her passionate plea for people to live in harmony and features very catchy Indian instrumentation. She also shows great vulnerability, singing about her personal life. “Diamond Ring” laments her broken engagement with Lance Armstrong, “Make It Go Away (Radiation Song)” is a poignant reflection of her breast cancer experience and “Lullaby for Wyatt” is a tender dedication to her adopted son.

But at the end of the day, it is the music that Sheryl excels best in. She has the knack of writing captivating melodies that are simply lovely without being sugary and superficial. Examples are “Love Is All There Is”, “Love is Free”, “Detours” and “Now That You’re Gone”. These songs have the ability to transport you to a world of sweet (or maybe bittersweet) memories and happy times.

Sheryl has come under some fire, with some saying that she thinks her views (especially political) overly important. I say, it’s a nice change from the usually mindless pop. It would be an inspiration to all youths who wish to express themselves through their music.

And the great thing about Sheryl Crow is that her songs continue to have very appealing tunes, especially with repeat listening. So if you find the themes too heavy, you don’t even have to pay any attention to the lyrics and just enjoy the music. If you want a change from the usual teenage angst of Avril Lavigne, just for a while, I highly recommend giving this album a try.

Here is a video of one of my favourite tracks in the album, "Love Is All There Is". Enjoy!

A life lesson I learnt from my son

Being clueless is part of Andre's DNA. Take a recent incident for instance. One of his friends called and he chatted away animatedly on the phone for a full ten minutes. When he finally hung up, I asked, out of curiosity, "Who was that?"

Andre (shrugs): I don't know

Me (incredulously): Huh? You talked on the phone for so long and you don't know who it was?

Andre (indignantly): He didn't tell me his name!

Apparently, the name of the caller was just a minor, unimportant detail. I told him he should always know who he's talking to, so since then, every time he gets a phone call, he would demand, "Who are you?"

But yet it is this same cluelessness that enables him to enjoy life. Sometimes, I think it must be great going through life as Andre - never worrying about tomorrow, always living for the moment. He doesn't care what other people think of him, not as a strategy for a happy life but I suspect because it doesn't even occur to him to care.

Just this Monday, Andre told me it was "Be Yourself Day" at school, so he could wear anything he liked. I had recalled reading it in a note but had misplaced it. Nevertheless, I took his word for it and let him wear his Ben 10 t-shirt to school.

When Lesley-Anne came home from school (she's in the morning session, he's in the afternoon), I happened to mention it to her. She exclaimed, "It's not today, it's TOMORROW!" OMG, I almost died. (Lesson: never take Andre's word for anything, always check with the clued in elder sister.) I imagined him sticking out like a sore thumb in his Ben 10 t-shirt amidst a sea of school uniforms.

My dread deepened when Lesley-Anne recounted how a girl had mistaken the wrong day for Racial Harmony Day and starting crying because she was so mortified to be in her red cheongsam when everyone else was in their school uniforms. If this had happened to Lesley-Anne, I'm sure it would have scarred her for life.

So you can imagine my concern while waiting for Andre to return home. When Andre stepped through the door, I casually asked, "Wrong day?" To my immense relief, he smacked his own forehead and laughed, "Yah!! It's tomorrow!! Hahahaha!!!" Andre has a very infectious laugh, so pretty soon, we were all in stitches. Then he added, "Can I wear my other Ben 10 shirt to school tomorrow?"

It's not often I learn something from Andre but this is a valuable lesson: when you don't take yourself too seriously, you're more likely to enjoy life to the fullest.

(Picture Andre drew of himself when he was in p1)

Understanding your tween

My late piano teacher, having taught hundreds of kids over the years, used to say, "Something happens to kids once they hit p5 - suddenly, they think they know everything." I never took this seriously... until Lesley-Anne entered p5.

Overnight, my sweet, thoughtful little girl, who's as close to an angelic child as you can get, became sulky, rude, emotional and hyper-sensitive (ok, she always was a sensitive child, but now magnify it x10). What happened? I was bewildered to say the least. After speaking to some parents who faced the same problems, we decided it was probably hormonal and a bad case of "growing pains".

Now that we're nearing the end of the year, I can say that Lesley-Anne has calmed down somewhat compared to the beginning of this year. Maybe she has managed to resolve some of the issues on her own, or maybe I'm learning better how to deal with them in a way that is acceptable to her.

Last week at the library, this book caught my eye - The Everything Tween Book: A parent's guide to surviving the turbulent pre-teen years. I thought, hmm... interesting! So I borrowed it.

For those of you who don't know, tweens are defined as those between the ages of 8 and 13. There is lots of talk about the "terrible teenage years" but hardly anything before that. But considering that during the tween years, kids go through a whirlwind of physical, social and emotional changes - it deserves proper attention.

The book itself is nothing ground-breaking, in my opinion. Like most of the books in the series (as well as the For Dummies and Idiots series), it is meant to give a general overview on the topic, written in a simple way. It covers all the related topics but doesn't go into in-depth discussions, if that's what you're looking for.

But there are some interesting titbits in this book that I thought would be worthwhile sharing. First, a quote that captures it all in describing tweens:

"Tweens are a mass of contradictions. Even as their bodies are maturing in preparation to create other human beings, they can have temper tantrums worthy of a two-year-old, sleep with stuffed animals, and need Mom to remind them to wash their ears when they take a bath."

That is so true. Lesley-Anne is mature for her age - she has the patience of Job when mentoring a p2 student, yet she needs to be told repeatedly to dry her hands after she has washed them.

According to the book, here are some of the characteristics of tweens:

1. All-or-nothing logic. Tweens tend to see everything in black-and-white. People are either good or bad, situations are either fair or unfair. There is no middle ground with them. But yet, these perceptions can change in an instance. You can be the world's worst mum, but do something nice and suddenly you're the best mum in the world.

2. The silent years. Those who have tweens will know you sometimes need to pry information out of them. Standard answers to your questions are: "Dunno", "Whatever" or even just a shrug. What I found comforting was that the book says it's not that you are losing touch with your child, rather, your child has lost touch with herself and is unable to identify and express her emotions.

3. Looking for authority. In the early tween years, parents or other adults tend to be the kids' role models. In the later tweens, this authority is transfered to their peers. Mum and dad know longer know it all. (In fact, sometimes they know nothing!) Instead, their friends are the fonts of wisdom. This is also the time when peer pressure is very strong.

4. Emotional basketcases. Tweens (especially girls) have intense and unpredictable mood swings. Even a normally placid tween can suddenly become emotionally charged and explosive, sometimes for seemingly no good reason. Tweens often over-dramatise events ("my life is over!").

So what can we do to help our tweens (and parents!!) during this difficult transition period?

There is one very interesting point in the book I want to highlight. I'd always assumed that hormones was a big reason for the roller coaster emotions. But apparently, this belief has not been established scientifically. I was surprised to learn that the testosterone level of boys at age eight is approximately five times that of boys entering puberty. Wah! So if we believe that hormones influence behaviour, Andre is more likely to act aggressively now than when he's a teenager. No way!

According to the book, the more likely reason for emotional older tweens is a combination of immaturity and social pressure, NOT hormones. It was a little disturbing to read this (of girl tweens):

"By age twelve, too many girls define their self-worth almost exclusively in terms of what their peers think of them - or in terms of what they think their peers think of them. No matter how much emotional support and reassurance you try to give your daughter at home, you may feel impotent to combat a peer group that seems to be catching her more tightly in its grip with each passing day."

In fact, many older tweens will hide or give up their special talents if they feel their peers will not approve. As parents, it's all too easy to tell our kids, "Don't give in to peer pressure! If your friend jumps, will you jump too?" But in reality, it is very difficult for tweens to stand tall in their individuality, especially since kids in school can be very cruel. The solution offered by the book is to take your tween seriously and don't belittle or shame her for feeling the need to fit in. Acknowledge her feelings and just keep telling her that when her peers mature, their values will change and they will be more accepting and even appreciative of differences. Continue to be supportive so that she will know she can approach you to share her feelings.

Here's the encouraging part: even if your tween talks back to you, tells you that you're the worst parent in the world, most girl tweens still consider their mothers as their biggest role models, and boy tweens their dads. So look out for the moments that they are most communicative (which may be rare!) and show your affection and support either physically or verbally.

I find that sometimes, when Lesley-Anne is in one of those black moods, it's not that she doesn't want to come out of it, she doesn't know how. Snapping at her almost always makes it worse. I find that humour sometimes diffuses the situation. By saying something totally silly or doing a funny action, it lifts the tension and she'll then laugh and say, "Mummy, you're so silly!" Or sometimes, she just needs time to be by herself, and the storm will blow over on its own.

In short, what I've learnt over the past year is that the main thing required to deal with your tween is patience - oodles and oodles of it.

Ode to teachers 2

Andre and his form teacher have shared a stormy relationship over two years. To say they have no rapport is an understatement - it's like Paul McCartney and Yoko Ono. There's definitely no love lost between them. I've collected at least a dozen complaint notes from his teacher over the two years and she has stopped trying to say anything complimentary about him in his report book. Andre has returned the favour by not bothering to give her anything for Teacher's Day.

But at the end of the day, Andre has done well in his examinations and he has always come home knowing his work. I have to give credit where credit is due - so here's a poem I wrote as a tribute (of sorts) to his teacher.

In p1, on the very first day of school
You walked into the classroom, looking pretty and cool
Told us your name was Miss Li
While smiling kindly at everybody

English and Maths you tried to teach us
30 hyper children in one class
Very soon, you stopped smiling a lot
Only so much patience you have got.

“Miss Li, can I drink water?”
“Miss Li, I can’t find my eraser.”
“Miss Li, can I go toilet?”
“Miss Li, he drew on my shirt.”

When you talked, I talked too
So what you said, I never knew
You made me sit behind on my own
I really didn’t like to be all alone.

When I went up to p2
I thought I’d gotten rid of you
Wah man! So sian!
You are my teacher once again.

“I’m Mrs Wong now”, you say
You got married over the holiday
But the change is only in name
You are still exactly the same.

“Andre, why are you dreaming?”
“Andre, didn’t you learn your spelling?”
“Andre, what is 71 - 43?”
“Andre, are you listening to me??”

I can’t remember what is 8 x 4
Learning times tables is such a chore
Is it “everybody likes” or “everybody like” again?
Grammar is driving me insane.

Mrs Wong, why do you keep scolding me?
Don’t you know I have homework allergy?
English and Maths are so boring, you see
I only like recess and PE.

You wrote to my mother to complain
"Andre didn’t do his work again.”
My mother got mad, she yelled at me.
“Another note I don’t want to see!”

Your next note I hid from my mother
So that a scolding I wouldn’t get from her
Alamak! I didn’t think at all
That you would give my mother a call.

Teaching is much harder than you thought
You must have thought of quitting an awful lot
But still you try and try
Even though sometimes you wonder why.

You taught us everything bit by bit
Repeated yourself until we got it
Addition, subtraction, multiplication
Grammar, tenses, punctuation.

When all is said and done
You helped me get my Band 1
So Mrs Wong, to you I say
“Thank you for everything, you are a-ok"

School score card for 2008

We have so much to be thankful for.

The kids have received the results for their year-end exams and I'm happy to say that on the whole, they've met their targets - ie in all their subjects, Lesley-Anne met the GEP baseline requirement and Andre achieved Band 1. So all the pre-exam screeching (me), sleepless nights (also me), sulks (Lesley-Anne) and tears (Andre) have been worthwhile.

I won't reveal their results in detail but I just want to highlight two that I'm especially pleased about. For Lesley-Anne, this is maths. If you've been following my blog, you will know that maths has been a constant struggle for her. I've been trying all ways and means to help her with maths but I think the biggest hurdle is not her ability but her antipathy towards the subject.

Well, this time she truly exerted a Herculean effort and accomplished 83/100. I am soooo pleased, I can't begin to tell you! It may not sound that great to some of you but for a kid who has failed to meet the baseline a couple of times, this score is truly cause for celebration. (Someone in her class actually pulled off 99½/100 but I'm so NOT complaining and not comparing.) Ironically (notice my life seems to be full of ironies), it turned out that she performed best in maths among all her subjects. Other subjects like Chinese that she usually performs well in dipped a little in standard. I told her jokingly, "How come your results like a balance scale like that? When one goes up, something else must come down!" But we're both so delighted with the maths result that we're just basking in that. It's as much a victory for me as it is for her, I think!

For Andre, the biggest surprise was his composition. Again, I've repeatedly moaned about the standard of his English and how he can't seem to write coherently. During term time, he regularly scrapes up just 5/10 or 6/10 for his compositions. It didn't assuage my fears when he came home the week before last and announced that his teacher mentioned most of the kids in the class didn't do too well for the composition exam. Then last Tuesday, he came home from school, bashed on my bathroom door (I was taking a shower) and shouted excitedly, "Mummy! I got 8/10 for composition!"

I couldn't believe it (you wouldn't too if you've read his compositions). I couldn't believe it even more after he'd told me that the boy who regularly scores 10/10 was the only one who got 9/10 in the class, and only a handful got 8/10 - these are the kids who write beautifully, I've seen their work in the class publication. I actually asked him skeptically, "Are you sure it was 8? Are you sure it wasn't 6 and you saw wrongly?" Ok, you are all going to now condemn me as this awful mum who has so little faith in her own son! Then hear this: when Kenneth came home from work and Andre told him his score, Kenneth asked him EXACTLY THE SAME THING!!! Bwaahaha!!

Thankfully, Andre was oblivious to any insinuation on his ability and just happily replied, "no lah! I thought I would get only 5, I didn't dare to look at my paper! Then I saw, I really got 8!" I don't know how he pulled that rabbit out of the hat but I say this again, this boy has some mad exam skills!

So another academic year draws to a close. It was hectic and stressful, yet I can't believe how fast it flew by (I say this every year, by the way). The holidays can't come soon enough - I need to recharge my mental strength and energy which is teetering at the almost zero level. I will need a double charge for next year - PSLE and p3! No joke.

Meanwhile, an unexpected treat has come our way - a holiday in Beijing during the school holidays, which was just confirmed a few nights ago. A perfect way to end the school year! And I promise not to bring any assessment books.

Formula One fever...

... one month too late. I know this post would've created a bigger impact if I'd written it earlier, when the excitement of the first Singapore F1 was still abuzz. But I was too pre-occupied lah, what with exams looming and everything - it just slipped my mind. Anyhow, what I wanted to show was this:


Yup, it's the winning F1 car. It's Andre's, it's remote controlled and I'm sure if you look real close, you can see the 27-year-old Spaniard Fernando Alonso tucked in the seat.

No, we didn't spend a bomb on this baby - it was a birthday present for Andre from a friend of ours, Isabelle. Here's the funny thing: she actually bought this before the F1 race and the only reason she chose the Renault was because she's French! In fact, when she came home with it, her husband told her, "Why on earth a Renault? You should have bought a Ferrari!"

Well! It turned out to be the buy of the season. More accurate than touching the lottery, I think! It did cross my mind that I could auction off this beauty on ebay, make a ton of money and buy Andre a remote control Ferrari with change to spare. But of course I didn't lah. Anyway, after Andre's mad-hared spins with it round our living room and repeated crashes into furniture parts, its front steering is no longer working. So this Renault ain't winning any races any time soon. It will just be our trophy piece.

Tried and tested cure for back pain

The past few days, my back has been aching. It's no mystery why - my back aches when I'm under a lot of stress and the past two weeks have been unusually stressful for me, for a variety of reasons. Fortunately, I always know what to do when my back aches, thanks to the book Back RX by Dr Vijay Vad.

Just some background - I first encountered back pain about five years ago - I was in the gym at my condominium estate and was trying out some machines without guidance (this is a lesson - never try out gym machines on your own especially if you don't know the right techniques!) Obviously I did something wrong as I felt a sudden jolt of pain in my lower back. It was crippling, I could hardly stand up and I made it home (barely) by hobbling. Kenneth brought me to the GP and I survived on painkillers for the next few days.

Let me try to explain what happened: basically, our spinal discs are encased in this jelly-like substance fluid. When we overstrain our back, either via strenuous activity or consistent bad posture over the long-term, sometimes the jelly part protrudes out of the disc. When it makes contact with a nerve, pain occurs. The good part was that it's not as serious as the pain suggests. The bad part is... the PAIN. It is excruciating. For those who've never had lower back pain, I sincerely wish you will never encounter it. It completely delibitates you - you experience blinding pain when you sit, stand, walk, get out of bed, go to the loo, sneeze, cough... that's right, practically everything.

That was the first episode. Eventually, after lots of rest (and tears), the pain slowly subsided after a few months. Then two years ago, I had another attack. This time, it wasn't the gym, it just came on suddenly. One day, I just felt stiff in my back, then as the day went on, it got progressively worse. I went to bed and the next day, I couldn't get up. This time, the recovery was even slower. I went to see a specialist at Changi General Hospital, I went for physiotherapy. They told me the same thing - 80% of lower back pain is brought on by years of bad posture. Just because it came on maybe when you were at the gym or you were lifting something heavy, that was not the real cause of the back pain - it's just the straw that broke the camel's (or rather, your) back.

That's why I decided to write this post. Lower back pain is extremely common. Every other adult I've met has experienced back pain at some point. Parents of young children are especially vulnerable because they are always hauling their heavy toddlers around. And if you're reading my blog, chances are you are a fellow IA (Internet Addict), meaning you spend hours at a time hunched over your computer. (You know you do!!)

My recovery after the second episode was frustratingly slow. Physiotherapy only took away the pain temporarily but once I stopped, the pain returned. So I read up on the subject, trying to find an effective cure. I came across Back RX at the library. It's written by Dr Vijay Vad, a doctor who specialises in treating professional athletes and a yoga practitioner. The book gives a good overview of back pain and what to do once it occurs. It then gives three series of exercises in increasing difficulty, designed to restore long-term flexibility and heal the back.

Well, I had nothing to lose, so I tried them out. I am not exaggerating when I say this book is a life-saver for me. I had gone on pain killers, muscle relaxants, physiotheraphy and nothing worked like the exercises in this book. One set takes just 15 minutes - I religiously did them everyday. After I complete a set, my back immediately feels less stiff. Later in the day, it would stiffen up again, upon which I would repeat the exercises. Within two months of starting the exercises, the pain was completely gone. Soon after, I could even go for step aerobics and kick-boxing classes - high impact sports that back pain sufferers would usually never dream of doing - without experiencing pain. I've not had another attack since (and please God, make that never!)

I have since recommended the book to any back pain sufferer I meet (even the Singtel guy who came to repair my MIO box!!) I often encounter skepticism, it's like people only believe you if you tell them you spent thousands of dollars on a chiropracter or on physiotherapy. Even Kenneth was half-hearted when he had backaches and I told him to try the book. He was sold after the exercises completely eradicated the aches. A friend of mine had suffered back pain almost throughout her adulthood. After she tried out the exercises, she became pain-free even during her pregnancy. But there is a caveat: you have to do the exercises judiciously (especially in the beginning) and at the pace the book recommends, in order to see results.

The exercises look deceptively simple. Many of them are stretches you would have done previously in school or during exercise classes. The difference is that these are ordered in such a way to heal the back and they're done in ultra slow speed (most of them ask you to hold the stretch for 10 slow breaths). These exercises are adapted from yoga and pilates, but they are NOT entirely yoga and pilates moves. If you have back pain, please don't go for yoga and pilates classes just yet because the turns and twists can actually hurt your back further, not heal it.

After a while, I realised that from doing the exercises repeatedly, I found which ones worked best for me so I focused on those. Once your back is more or less healed, you can choose a few to keep doing, to keep the pain from returning and when you have slight backaches. (Yes, the aches can still occasionally return. You're still going to slouch over your computer, right?) Even more important, I became so in tune with my back that whenever I get an ache, I usually know which exercise to do to make it go away.

For me, these two exercises are the most effective. If you do the exercises right, you will feel your lower back aching but in a good way, like the muscle is being stretched.


Please do note I'm just sharing which exercises work for me. Depending on the specific area and reason for your back pain, different stretches will work for you.

The specialist at CGH advised that the best long-term solution to back pain is strengthening via exercise or sports. The problem is that when you're having back pain, you are just not capable of doing sports. So this book is a terrific way to eliminate your back pain so that you can go on to do the physical activity that helps your body (and your back) stay in shape.

Beautiful boy

I am a huge Fab Four fan, especially of John Lennon. What appeals to me most about the Beatles and I think most of their fans, is that they are very real. Even after all their fame and fortune, they were still at heart, four boys from working class families in Liverpool. They were quirky personalities with bad teeth who wrote their own songs with so much talent and genius it's mind-boggling.

Unlike many of the pop stars who achieve fame early today, they never tried to embody fake, bad boy personas just to be cool. Their songs often speak of their personal life experiences and ideals - they generally promote love and peace, none of that teenage angst. Ever so often, I'll play one of my Beatles or John Lennon albums and it makes me happy because the songs are geniune and remind me of a less complicated time in history.

I want to dedicate this one to all parents - John Lennon's Beautiful Boy. It's a tender ballad John wrote for his son with Yoko - Sean - and it encapsulates the protectiveness we all feel over our children. I particularly love this line in the song: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." Isn't it true that sometimes we're so busy planning and worrying about life that we just forget to enjoy the moment? And more often than not, life never goes according to our plans - it just happens. This lyric is especially poignant and chilling since the song was one of the last John Lennon recorded before he was shot.

So parents, it's the weekend - go enjoy your kids and just let life happen. Here's a video of Beautiful Boy.

The virtues of a Christian school

Since we're talking about Christian schools, let me take this opportunity to extol the virtues of having your kids in one.

Quoting YY here:

"Personally on looking back I'm very glad my girl went to a Christian secondary school. It was a close-knit community infused with warmth & caring which tenderly nurtured her sensitive soul. My personal prejudice is that in a Christian school the emphasize on academic merits is less 'brutal' and the children are exposed to the idea that God is involved in every detail of your life, in your studies, your family & in your social life.

Whereas in a highly-competitive non-religious school (like RGS for e.g., but not exclusive to RGS) the ethos held up to be nonnegotiable are performance excellence, diligence & cut-throat competition.

In a highly-competitive, non-religious school there is not much time given to ideas that one has value & worth in simply being a unique individual--regardless of one's performance. I would imagine that ideas of 'caring for the weak ones amongst us' would be perfunctorily endorsed as a characteristic of a civil society, but without the kind of commitment to it that would come from a school run on Christocentric ideas of universal love & selflessness."

One of the main reasons we chose our kids' school was because it is a Christian school. At the school, the emphasis on values and nurturing spirituality is very prominent, which is what I love about the school.

I know schools, like companies and organisations, can make many lofty claims about their values that they don't actually uphold. But from what I can see at their school, they really do put their words into action. Everyday before school begins, there is devotion led by either a teacher or a member of the Pastoral Care team. A prayer is said, a verse read and a short story told to elaborate on the verse. During exam periods, the chosen verse is usually something the kids can relate to, like on God's guidance during difficult times. Every Friday, a member of the Pastoral Care team will address the kids during assembly, either telling a story or teaching a lesson from the bible. There is a prayer box in the canteen where any kid can put in a prayer request. The Parent Support Group collects the requests and prays for the kids. At the end of the school year, there is a Closing Service to give thanks to God for seeing them through another year.

Apart from these activities, because the school is a Christian school, it is a natural magnet for children and teachers from Christian families and this is another big plus for me. I like the fact that my kids are being surrounded by like-minded peers and teachers who uphold the same love of God and Christian values in their everyday life, especially during the impressionable primary school years. In one of Lesley-Anne's journal entries in p4, she wrote about being undecided as to whether she should become a vet or a dancer when she grew up. This was the comment written by her teacher:

Doesn't that just warm your heart? I'm pretty sure you won't find this in a non-Christian school even if the teacher is a Christian because it would be considered politically insensitive.

The Christ-centricism is very strong among the kids at the school. I recall an amusing incident when Lesley-Anne was in p1. She had tripped when she was alighting from the school bus and grazed her knee. As she clutched her bleeding knee in pain, a friend said, "I'll pray for you" and immediately launched into prayer for God to heal the knee! Of course in this case, it would have been more practical to help her to the sick bay but it was touching to see that resolute, innocent belief that God can fix anything. Faith of the children.

This is only my experience with my kids' school, so I cannot speak for other Christian schools. But I suspect it should be the same elsewhere. I have heard, for instance, that the Parent Support Group at ACS also prays for the students. Kenneth and I both studied at Catholic schools, and the focus on spirituality there was not so prominent. But then I do think there are differences in the ethos between Catholic and Christian schools, just like there are different practices in the Catholic and Protestant churches. (Just my opinion!!)

After having seen Lesley-Anne blossom after five years at her school and Andre two, I can say with absolutely certainty that choosing that school for my kids has been one of the best decisions we've ever made as parents.

Let someone else worry about DSA!

I had an epiphany last night.

Rather, it was at about 2.30am when I was in bed, unable to sleep. It started with comments on Lilian's blog about the Direct School Admission (DSA). For the umpteenth time, I'm realising how clueless I am about such things. I know that most GEP kids apply for DSA in p6 but I never knew that they had to take a General Ability Test even before they're called up for an interview, and that if they apply under the academic route, they should preferably have some special achievements in a particular area like maths or languages or science.

So upon reading the comments by a very in-tuned dad, I immediately started to worry about Lesley-Anne. Here's the background story: from what I've been told by the GEP teachers, most GEP kids are encouraged to go on to Integrated Programme (IP) schools at sec.1, the 6-year programme which skips 'O' levels and go straight to 'A' levels. These schools have their own school-based gifted education programme whose pedagogy is in line with what the kids have been learning under the GEP. However, there are only 7 IP schools and many of them are off-limits to Lesley-Anne. For instance, Nanyang Girls and Dunman High offer Chinese as first language and NUS High is catered for those extremely talented in maths and science. Many of the schools are boys' schools. Based on these limited choices, Lesley-Anne wants to get into RGS.

But here's the catch: last year, RGS has THE highest cut-off point in the WHOLE OF SINGAPORE. Phwaah!! We attended their open house this year and we learnt that their girls are basically the top 2% of each cohort. How's that for intimidating?

So I'd long told Lesley-Anne that if she really wanted to get into RGS, her best bet was through DSA. Then I found out about the DSA criteria mentioned above. Lesley-Anne is generally fine all around but she doesn't have any stand-out, knock-your-socks-off ability like some of those Math Olympiad geniuses or Sarah Chang-ese violin prodigies.

Which was what brought on the worrying last night. What if, what if. How, how. Then completely out of the blue, this message just whacked me at the side of my head: God will have a place for her. I can't really explain it but suddenly it became clear - if God thinks RGS is the best school for Lesley-Anne, He will clear the way for her. If He doesn't think she will thrive in that environment, He will create a place in another school for her. No amount of worrying or planning will change that.

Wah, really ah, God? I didn't really have to ask, I knew in my heart it was true. (I often have these strange conversations in my head with God - in Singlish no less. Like before any of the kids' exams, I sometimes pray, God, please, please, pleeeeeeease. Aiyah God, you know what I mean lah.)

Once that truth hit me, there was nothing left to worry about. I remembered how God had always led the way in terms of Lesley-Anne's education. Even before she entered p1, we chose the school she's at because 1) it is a Christian school, 2) it is relatively close to our home, 3) it is a co-ed school (so we wouldn't have to worry about Andre later). Since the school is more than 2km from our home, we had to volunteer to be able to register her at Phase 2B. For Phase 2B that year, there was no balloting (we were just two more applicants shy of balloting) so she got a place. When she was in p3 and went for the GEP test, we didn't think she would get in but I remembered distinctly asking God, "if you think GEP will be good for her, then give her a place." And what a blessing that turned out to be.

Don't think that I am a saint. Far from it. I squirm when I hear loud, zealous proclamations of faith, and overly pious people grate on my nerves. I don't pray as often as I should, I don't give thanks as much as I should, I miss church more than I should. But I know God is real, whether politically correct or not, and this keeps me straight. As you probably know by now, I'm an intellectual at heart - I overthink everything, I analyse things to death. The danger with intellectuals is that we do so much thinking that we sometimes start to think that we know better than God. So I constantly have to check myself and that's why my favourite verse from the bible is this lesser-known one:

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God. For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate." 1 Cor 1:18,19

I'm not advocating that we stop thinking altogether. Neither am I saying that since God will take care of everything, we can just slack off and do nothing. If you don't work at something, you can't expect God to call up a miracle and reward you. Not that He can't and not because I believe in that oft spouted phrase "God helps those who help themselves" (nowhere in the bible does it say that). It's more the fact that I believe as part of life's journey, God wants to develop the whole person - mind, body and spirit. Rewarding a lazy bum generally doesn't serve that purpose.

Ironically, after the epiphany, I still couldn't sleep because I started to think of how I would write this post! I'm so heartened by how some of you have commented that you found my blog useful. I'm not lost to the fact that there could be some divine intervention at work here as well - often when I start to write, I find that the thoughts flow very easily, as if someone is guiding them. When I read some of my back posts, I sometimes wonder how I came up with all those thoughts. Honest.

I couldn't figure out what label to give this post. I contemplated creating one called "God" but I baulk at giving God a label, so I'm just going to place it under "faith" and "parenting" for now. Can or not, God? Hmmm... I'll take that as a yes.